Bang Bang(24)

“Was he already dead?”

“No,” I choked out. “He was at the meeting, but his plan was to double cross my own father — The De Lange family promised to push him through the ranks, to give him power, everything he’d always wanted. All he had to do… was kill me.”

“What?” Amy’s feet fell to the ground as she leaned forward and touched my arm. “What do you mean?”

“It was a set up. The whole damn thing. My father had people on both sides, knew that Joey was turning into a rat, knew that the De Langes wanted me because I just so happened to be, what? Sixth in line to take over the family? So, naturally, my father sent me in… knowing full well I’d have to kill in order to survive. That’s the thing about the mafia — feelings are never part of it, family or no family. My father was testing me — he was giving me a choice. Either die… or follow in his footsteps. My biggest mistake was not wanting to be selfish enough to live.” I stole a glance at Amy. “But being selfish enough to live for you.”

Tears pooled in her eyes.

I couldn’t look at her any longer. I stared at the road, clenching the steering wheel tighter. “I killed him. One gunshot to the head. I killed my favorite cousin so I could live, so I could see you one more day. I sold my soul to the devil so I could wake up to your smile and I never forgave the De Lange family — your family and mine, for putting me in such an impossible position.”

“Ax?” Amy’s hand found mine. I felt the pressure of her hand, but no warmth, nothing… I was numb. It always made me numb, thinking about what I did to Joey.

My whole life I’d blamed the De Langes, but I was the bastard that pulled the trigger. Suddenly, telling her about my past didn’t seem like the best choice I could have made. Pissed at myself, pissed at the situation, and even more pissed that she was trying to comfort me for shooting my own family in cold blood, I jerked my hand away and said, “It’s not a big deal.”

I couldn’t turn my brain off from the image of Joey’s face.





“Ax?” he asked holding up his hands. “What are you doing, man?”

“You or me.”

“Ax!” he shouted. “We’ll find another way.”

“No,” Mario De Lange whispered. “You really won’t. Make your choice.”

He was a cold bastard, the De Lange boss. I wanted to point the gun in his direction, almost did so, until Joey lifted his gun into the air, shaking it in my direction.

“I love you, man.” Tears streamed down his face.

So that was it.

I knew Joey wasn’t a great shot, knew that he always hesitated before shooting because he counted to three. He was a child. It was why he’d never be a made man. I was the same age, but I had no such hesitation as I held up my gun and fired off one shot.

He fell to the ground in a heap.

Mario offered a dark smile and whispered, “Welcome to the Family.” Just as my own father appeared out of the shadows and clapped his hands, once, twice. With a sigh he turned on his heel handed Mario a large envelope of cash and said, “It was great doing business with you.”

“Consider us even.” Mario nodded. “But never for long… not with an Abandonato.”

“I do not expect it.” My father chuckled, slapping him on the back as if we were at a family barbecue. As if the blood from my cousin’s body wasn’t creating a trail towards my father’s boot.

I said nothing.

When my father offered me the first smile I’d seen on his face since I was three I did nothing.

“Look.” My father pointed at Joey’s body. “Look at what you did.” He shoved his hands in the pockets of his black suit jacket. “It seems you won’t be a mechanic your whole life after all — we’ll be in touch. Go home, eat, drink, I’ll have the men clean it up. After all, it was an accident.”

“I killed him,” I whispered hoarsely.

“No. You didn’t.” He shrugged. “The De Langes did, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep quiet.”

It fueled the war between our families.

Mario was too greedy for money to not keep his shady dealings going, he had no idea the ripple effect it would have on our already tumultuous relationship.

But I did.





“Ax?” Amy’s hand moved to my shoulder. “Ax, come back, are you okay?”

Clenching my teeth together, I gave a nod and continued driving. Driving I could do. Straight lines, moving forward, slowly accelerating. I could do all those things.

She sighed. “Pull over.”

“I’m fine.” The lie was easy.