"You sure? I think I've tried on the entire store."
"I'm sure." She looks down at what I'm wearing. "It's not your worst idea ever, but I understand why it's not what you're looking for. Too bold if it's your first time."
I put on the robe they give to customers. "You sound like you're familiar with all … this."
She chuckles, "You're not the only one that comes in shopping for parties like this."
"What's your name?"
"Hope," she holds out a hand. "And you?"
"Christine."
Hope nods. "Well, Christine, the first thing you should tell me is how you want to feel."
I stop for a second, trying to recover that feeling I had this morning when I ran into Hudson. I didn't feel like me. I felt … special. "I don't want to feel like me," I say. "I want to feel like someone who goes to a sexy lingerie party and is confident. I want to be that mysterious woman across the room." That feels right. I want to be the person Hudson locks eyes with from far away, our stares drawing us closer until we meet, unable to resist each other.
"I can work with that," she says with a smile. "I'll be right back."
The dressing room is really nice. It's posh and brightly lit with tri-mirrors and soft couches. I sit down on one and wait while Hope moves around the store. I can see her move back and forth, collecting items for me to try on. There are still gnawing nerves in my stomach, but somehow Hope's approval gives me more courage. She doesn't think I'm crazy for doing this. Neither does Sandra.
Hope enters the dressing room again with an armful of lingerie. "Okay, I think we'll definitely have a winner in here." She hands me a green babydoll a little longer than the one I have on. "This one first."
When I come back out, I can see she's right. This looks much better on me. The cut is flattering and the color is perfect for my skin tone, but it's not quite right. Neither are the next two that she has me try. "That's fine," she says. "I saved the best for last."
This outfit is different from the rest. It's not frilly or soft. It's not a teddy or babydoll, it's … stark. A deep blue bra and panties set, the panties high waisted in a way that makes me feel a little like a superhero. But that's not all. She's given me a long robe of the same color, completely sheer. It ties in the front, and it hangs open, billowing around me like a cloud or a cape, and as soon as I put it on I feel different. Powerful.
The look on Hope's face when I open the door is more than a confirmation, and when I step on the pedestal in front of the mirrors I know. "This is the one."
"Without a doubt," she says. "Here."
She hands me a pair of matching high heels, and they make me feel even more like a badass. I never thought lingerie could make me feel this … awesome. But then again, it works for Wonder Woman, so why not me?
"I also thought you might need this." She hands me a small black mask. It's not fancy, just a simple black one that covers the eyes, but she's right. It gives me the exact air of mystery I'd been hoping for.
"Wow."
"It's perfect," she says.
I nod, unwilling to step away from the mirror yet. "Thank you, I really didn't think I was going to find anything."
"Glad I could help. I'm sure whoever he is will be knocked off his feet."
"I hope so," I say, pressing my lips together. I do, I hope he even remembers the girl from the coffee shop this morning, and that maybe he'll … I don't know, like me? I didn't lie to Sandra, I'm not going to this party with the intention of having sex, but if something were to happen, I wouldn't say no. It's been so long, the idea of a night of sex without any attachments practically makes my mouth water.
Hope helps me off the pedestal and I get dressed and buy the entire outfit. It's more than I should spend, but it's too perfect, and I'm too committed to this now to back out. She wishes me well as I leave the store and head into the fading heat of the day. Now to head home and get ready for this. I need hair and make-up to match the outfit.
4
I suppose no amount of hair and make-up or lingerie was going to erase the anxiety I feel now that I'm at the club. My hair is curled and pulled back, and I used some long forgotten shimmer spray I found in my vanity that makes my blonde hair just a little brighter. My lips are dark, and my eyes are too, making them smoky and mysterious inside the mask. I'm wrapped inside a trench coat I haven't worn in years. Arizona rarely has weather that requires a trench coat, but I'm glad I have it because it's the only way I was getting out of the house. I'm sure that the club has some place where people can dress, but it felt weird.
I take a deep breath and exit the car, and approach the door. The guy at the door is maybe the tallest guy I've ever seen, and I have no doubt that he could take someone down, but he seems friendly. "Can I see your ticket?" I show him the ticket on my phone. "The party is downstairs. Welcome to Club Deep."
"Thanks," I say, but then I pause. "Actually, I was wondering something. I ran into a guy today, he's the one who told me about the party. Is there a way to find out if he's here?"
"What's his name?"
I swallow. "Hudson Carlisle."
He looks surprised. "Yeah, I can check. What's your name?"
"Christine Everett. Or if that doesn't ring a bell you can say the girl who spilled coffee on him."
He turns away and mumbles into a radio which must be in his ear. It's only a minute or so before he turns around smiling, "If you'd wait at the main bar, Mr. Carlisle will join you in a few minutes. He'll be available soon."
Wow. "Is he some kind of V.I.P. here?"
"You could say that," the guard answers and opens the door for me, but he doesn't say anything else.
Inside there's a wide staircase that leads down to what sounds like club music and a crowd, but right here there's a coat check. Moment of truth I suppose. I walk over, and a pretty girl takes my coat and purse. I pull out the mask and put it on, and she gives me a wristband for my coat. That's nice, most clubs-the few I've been to anyway-have paper stubs and you usually have to stow them in your bra.
I take a deep breath as I go down the stairs. I'm really doing this. I am.
It's both everything I expected and not what I expected at all. The huge open space I walk into is filled with people in various states of undress and tons of costumes-everything from actual Wonder Woman to a man walking around in a red latex body suit with a pitchfork. Caged dancers in angel costumes hang from the ceiling around the room. The music is sensual and everyone seems to be moving in that way that speaks of sex in the air. Speaking of sex, that's happening too. All around the room on brightly lit stages, people are just doing it right out in the open.
I know that I'm blushing, but the scenes around me are turning me on. It's been so long that seeing other people have sex gets me going. There's a woman dressed like Wonder Woman sitting on a throne while a man grovels naked at her feet. His mouth is so close to being in-between her legs, and god, it's been so long since I've had that I feel a pull towards that stage. Until today, I hadn't really noticed my lack of sex. Work seemed like enough. But since running into Hudson this morning my body is craving it. Being surrounded by people lost in pleasure isn't helping to cool me down.
On another stage a woman is strapped naked to a large wooden X. The man with her is touching her, stroking down her back and reaching around to grope her breasts before taking her from behind. The woman's head falls back in pleasure and I can see the way she's clinging to her restraints-everything about it says that she wants more.
My body is suddenly uncomfortably hot, and there's moisture pooling between my legs. I look away from the scene, unsure what to do with my reaction to it. I could use a drink. Besides, I'm supposed to be heading for the bar anyway, right?
There are multiple bars around the dance floor, but it's obvious which one people would consider the main bar. It's double the size of the others, practically dominating the space. A female bartender catches my eye as I approach, and I shake my head. I'm thirsty, but if Hudson really is going to meet me here, then I want to wait before I have a drink. I lean my back against the bar, taking in everything that's happening. I wasn't wrong, this is fascinating. My eyes wander back to the woman on the X who's still being fucked. The way she's at once so vulnerable but also loving everything, it's intense and amazing to watch.
"Wow." A voice comes from my left. Not Hudson's voice-I don't I think I could forget that if I tried.
I glance to my left to find a man dressed like a cowboy. Leather pants and a vest, showing a chest that's so muscled I wonder if he's a body builder. A glance down tells me that those letter pants have no ass. He doesn't have a mask, but then again, they weren't required. "What are you dressed as?" he asks.