Bang (A Club Deep Story)(13)

     



 

"By-" I press the end button before she can say anything else. Anger is  burning in my chest and I feel like I'm going to explode. It's always  been this way, whenever I say something that makes sense, they tear it  down like I'm crazy. Why would I need more than twelve hours' notice for  visitors-are you some sort of royalty? Why would I need to move away  from the city-you too good for us now? Why would I need to go to  college?-you think you're smart enough to get in?

That sickening realization that I've been holding back comes hurtling  into my brain and I can't breathe. Sandra is right. None of that has  ever come from me. Every time I've wanted something more or tried  something new I was shot down, bullied into being what everyone else  thought was normal. So why would I think it would be any different with  Hudson? Of course I wouldn't think that he would want me when I've been  practically trained to think that he wouldn't.

I have to get out of here. It's too much. I don't want to think about  how many times I may have missed out on something because someone else  convinced me I wasn't good enough or it just ‘wasn't the way we do  things.' The only thing I can possibly think of that will make me forget  about this is Club Deep. I have to go. I have to be there. I have to  lose myself. I can only hope that Hudson isn't so pissed that I left and  ignored him that he won't see me.

For this, I need an outfit I've been saving for something special.





10





The outfit I've chosen is nothing but straps. It barely covers the  essentials and is super hot. And given the fun that we've had with  straps over the past month, I think that Hudson will like it.

John looks surprised when he sees me, talking into his radio before I've  even made it all the way to the door. "Upstairs," he says. "In the  private room."

I nod. It's the room that I last saw him in. I have a feeling that  Hudson and I will have some things to say to each other, and it's  probably better if we don't say them in the club. He has every right to  be angry. I basically disappeared. I hadn't planned on coming back. I  think he knows that.

The room is quiet and empty when I get there. I kept my coat with me  this time. I think a dramatic reveal might be appropriate for this  outfit. The door opens and Hudson comes in. He doesn't come to me. He's  angry. I can see it in his face and the way he's holding himself,  entirely tense.

"Hi," I say.

"Why are you here?"

That's not the question that I expected. "I'm not sure."

"You disappeared. Not a word. You didn't answer my calls. After a month  of seeing each other-having sex with each other-almost every single day,  I can only think that you were trying to break it off."

"I was."

The look on his face, the devastation, it hurts. "Why?"

"Because I thought it was better this way. I thought it was better if you didn't get to know me outside the club."

"That's-" I hold up a hand to stop him.

"I've figured some stuff out in the last day. Some stuff about myself  and my family. That how I see myself might not be … correct. And I  realized that I wanted to come back. I wanted to be the person that I  was here, that confident person that I was with you. I wanted to lose  myself tonight. I shouldn't have come, but I didn't feel like I could  stay away."

"Yes, you should have come. You should never have left," he says. "I want you. All of you. Not just this."

"I'm not sure that I'm ready for that. But I am ready for you." I pull  open the coat and drop it, and his eyes go wide at the lingerie I'm  wearing, that's little more than nothing.

His gaze follows the straps down to where my pussy is wet for him and  back up to my face. "I want to talk about this more, Christine."

I take a step forward. "We can talk about it more. After."

His face hardens, and I see that familiar look of lust on his face.  "Fine. If I can't convince you that we should go further, I can show you  why you should stay with me here." He tears off his clothes and I watch  his perfect, glorious body appear. He scoops me up off the floor and  tumbles me onto the bed, body coming down hard on top of me. The animal  energy in him calls to me. I know that he'd never hurt me. All the same,  we're rough with each other. I scrape my nails down his back, and his  teeth dig into my shoulder as he touches me. He turns me onto my  stomach, pushing my legs open with his knees and I hear the familiar  sound of foil.         

     



 

Hudson shoves in roughly, and I groan because I've missed the feeling of  him inside me. His body pushes mine into the mattress as he fucks me.  That's what it is. This isn't just sex, it's raw and powerful, and it  shakes me to my core. I'm panting, wanting more. His hands are on my  wrists holding me down as he pounds in, and as he takes me, I can hear  his voice in my ear. "You can't get this anywhere else, and you love it.  You love me fucking you like you're mine. And I love fucking you like  this. How could you just disappear like that, without even giving me a  chance." His words disappear into what's almost a growl, and he thrusts  harder, faster.

The headboard is knocking against the wall, and an orgasm is gathering  inside me, something wild and brutal and altogether different than  anything I've felt before. I think that Hudson is deeper inside me than  he's ever been before. I can feel him everywhere, every stroke in every  part of my body. He's marking me, and I want it. He's grunting with the  effort and I can't stop moaning, saying yes, and my voice rises with the  tide of pleasure until I'm almost screaming.

Hudson screams out my name as he comes, fucking his way through his  orgasm, and mine follows. It's not just a wave, it's a cascade, a  tsunami, it crushes me with the sheer size of the sensation. My pussy  clamps down onto him, holding on, never wanting this to end. It's too  big to hold, no person can have this much pleasure in their body at  once. It's impossible. He collapses on top of me, and I'm pinned beneath  his heat, his cock still inside me as the orgasm wrings me out. I can't  move, he's everywhere, around me and in me. Pulling out, he turns me  over, kissing me hard. So hard I think it might bruise.

"If you're going to leave again, tell me. I'd rather know than wake up to an empty bed."

"I'm not leaving."

His face is hard, like he doesn't believe me. That's fair. But I'm really not.

"If you're not leaving, then tell me what your plans for the weekend are."

A wash of cold goes through my body. My mother and my sister. Even if I  know that they've been wrong, that I've been wrong about myself, I'm  still not ready to jump from this to domestic bliss. "It's not you," I  say. "But I'm not quite ready. I feel safe here. I don't know if I'm  ready for you to meet the real me. I like who I am here, and I couldn't  take it if you didn't like me in the real world."

"Please, Christine. I don't care about that. I just want to know you."

"Let's just … go slowly."

He sighs, but his face isn't the hard and unyielding mask it was just a  few minutes ago. "All right. As long as you promise not to disappear."

"I promise," I say, moving my hand up to my chest. "Cross my heart."

"Good." He kisses me hard again, and pulls back just long enough to  replace the condom. "Now I have four days without you to make up for.  When you leave you may not be able to walk."

I raise an eyebrow. "Is that your promise?"

"Absolutely."





11





The familiar red pick-up truck pulls up outside my house at exactly ten  o'clock. If there's one thing my mother is, it's punctual. In her mind  punctuality is as close to godliness as cleanliness is. Though I've  never understood how she could manage it on long trips like this. I  guess there are worse super powers to have.

I watch through the curtains as my sister hops down from the truck and  my mother gets out from the driver's side. They give the house a good  long look. It's the first time they've been here. I had an apartment  last time. I'm only able to have a house like this because the owner is  living in another country for a few years and wanted someone to keep  living there. It's nice and is in the right price range. Over the past  year or so I've really made it mine. It's become my safe space. Or it  was, until I found Hudson and the club. But still, watching them  approach my door makes my stomach sink and jaw clench. My realization of  last night makes me want them in my home even less, but there's nothing  that I can do about it.         

     



 

I take a step back as they approach the door, so they don't see me  watching them, and I wait for the doorbell to ring. It does, and I give  myself a second. I take a deep breath, paste a happy smile on my face,  and open the door. "Hi."

"Hey," my sister says, brushing past me as I stand aside.