“Why, Camryn? Why do you not want to be a part of his life? I don't get it.”
“I do, Sky. I'll always be a part of his life, but not as his father. I can’t be that man right now. If you look at this with your mind and not your mother's heart, you’ll see that I'm not what is best for him. I can't even take care of myself right now. I need you to do this for me. I need to know that he’s taken care of so that I can focus on me. Please, Skila.”
Silent tears are streaming down my face when he finishes. I never thought about how he felt and what he needed. I was only concerned with why he didn't want my baby. I understand now.
“Okay, I'll do it, but you promise me that you’ll be there for him when you get better,” I say, choking back a sob.
“I promise, Sky. Thank you so much for this, for everything. He’s such a lucky little boy to have you as his momma.”
As he pulls me in for a hug, I let go of all the anger and hurt I’ve felt for Cam. A weight is lifted off me, and for the first time in over seven months, I can breathe again. I have hope for a future that I didn't have before. Camryn releases me and walks me back to Kip, who is standing next to the burly looking nurse.
“Take care of her, brother. She’s one in a million,” he says, pulling Kip in for a tight, brotherly hug.
“I will, bro, always. You go get better and come back home.”
“That's the plan, man.”
Camryn finishes his paperwork, and the nurse leads him through the double doors. I wave bye one last time and then take Kip’s hand and walk back out of the hospital. I'm beyond ready to get home, take a shower, and then crawl into bed. This day has been hell. Pure flipping hell, but that's okay. It was also great. Kiptyn found out his brother was alive. That thought alone makes my heart sing. Even though Camryn came back a different person than he was when he left, he’s alive and he’s getting the help he needs to become the person he needs to be once again. I meant what I said earlier. I'm proud of him.
It’s going to take a lot of getting used to, having him back around. I had just gotten used to the idea of his being gone, and now he’s back. I still can’t believe it. So far, the only thing we’ve learned is that Cam wasn’t on the Humvee, but it still doesn’t make sense. Why did they tell us he was dead if they didn’t have proof? Do those bombs destroy everything so badly that they just assume everything and everyone is gone? And where was he for the last few months? One thing is for certain: for every question we’ve answered, another ten have replaced it. I don’t know if we’ll ever have all the answers we need or want, but we have Cam, and that’s what really matters. A lot of families don’t get their soldiers back.
“Let's go home, baby.” Yes, let's go home.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Kiptyn
Skila is in the shower, washing away the day's exhaustion. I want to join her, but I think we both know better than to push our boundaries. Even though we’re both exhausted, there is no way I'd be able to keep my hands off her if I stepped in that shower with her. Besides, there’s something much more important that I need to handle right now.
Lighting the last of ten candles, I set them all around the bedroom, illuminating the space with soft lighting. I turn on Spotify and play some slow music on the lowest volume possible. I don’t want the music to take away from what I need to say to Skila, but simply to add a romantic feel to the room. I hear the shower shut off a moment later, and Sky steps out wrapped in nothing more than a silk robe. She’s the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life.
“What’s all this?” she asks, looking around the room. I know she’s beyond tired, and I want to lay her down in bed and let her sleep for ages, but I need to talk to her first.
“Sky, my beautiful, amazing Sky. Come here, baby. Let me talk to you.” I pull her closer to me, easing her down on the bed. She reclines against the pillows and looks up at me, questioning me with her chocolate eyes.
“Tonight, I was scared to death. I was terrified I was going to lose you. I didn't know what was happening, and my only thought was fuck . . . I’ve never told her I love her. Skila, I may not be the best person in this world, and I'll make my share of mistakes, but the one thing I can promise you is that not a day will go by that I'll not love you.”
“I love you too, Kiptyn. I have for a while now. I was just afraid of pushing you away if I told you. I should have had more faith in you.”
“Come here, baby. Let me hold you.”
I pull her closer to my side, relishing the feel of her body against my own, and all of a sudden, I see things perfectly clear. I can't believe I never thought of this before now.
“I never want to be without you again. I don't know how I survived a day before you. I feel like my every breath comes straight from you. Marry me, Skila. Marry me.”
“Kip, are you serious?”
“Yes. Marry me. Plan whatever you want for the wedding, I don't care, but I want you to be my bride as soon as possible. Two weeks from today? Say yes, Skila,” I beg her. I need to make her my wife. I need to have her as mine. All mine, forever.
“Yes. Yes, Kiptyn.” She throws her arms around my neck, squeezing the life from me.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Skila
I snuggle up in the fuzzy blanket, thinking about all that had transpired. I find myself humming Love and Marriage—you know, from Married with Children—and giggle to myself. I close my eyes and smile, feeling the soft fluttering of my son turning what feels like cartwheels in my belly. I'm lost in the moment when I feel the bed dip a bit. I turn to find Kip smiling widely. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Well, I was thinking about the nursery. I think we should go with a more neutral color. I know you had your heart set on blue, but what happens when we decide we want another?" I can feel the blood beginning to flush my cheeks at the thought.
"You're jumping the gun a bit there, aren't you?"
"No. Just thinking ahead. You never know what fate has in mind for us." I'm speechless, which is rare.
"Kiptyn, how about we make it through this one before we talk about more? Besides the nursery, we have a wedding to plan."
"About that. I think my grandma has her heart set on setting all that up."
"When did you tell her?"
"About five minutes ago. I thought you were sleeping." I can't help but smile.
"You know my nana is crazy, but I bet she'd like to put her two cents in." Kip nods and wraps his arms around me, pulling me to him.
"You know, I meant everything I said, and I couldn't be happier."
"I know. Now quit changing the subject. I think a cute multi-sports theme would be adorable for the baby's nursery."
"I'm cool with sports," he says, kissing my cheek.
"Good, so it's decided then?"
"Umm . . . not exactly."
"What does that mean?"
"I have a designer coming tomorrow to talk to you."
"What? Kip, I want us to do it. I don't want some stranger trying to tell me what my baby needs."
"Baby, chill. I can cancel, you know. I just figured with the wedding and all, you might need some help."
"Well I guess some help would be nice, but no pushy broad. I'm hormonal and would rather not go to prison for snapping. I might only be five foot four, but my attitude is six foot three," I reply, realizing I sound utterly insane. He bites his lip to hide the grin that threatens to cross his lips.
"I love you, Skila. Every little crazy thing you say makes me fall more every day." He snuggles up against me, resting his chin on my shoulder. "So, are you ok with your nana and my grandma planning this wedding? She said she would run everything by you first, but she does tend to go overboard."
I smile and shake my head. "It's fine, but Nana is a bit . . . how do I put this mildly? Wild."
"Wild, you say?"
"Yeah, she likes the Henny and devil’s tobacco quite a bit."
"I can't wait to meet her. I bet she's fun," he whispers before placing a soft kiss on my shoulder.
"You know, I never imagined you to be so sweet. It’s almost surreal to be here with you holding me."
"Believe me, baby, I'm real. I'm here, and I have no intentions of going anywhere."
I close my eyes and breathe deeply. I'm allowing myself to relax and melt into him as I drift off into a peaceful slumber.
A stinging sensation in my side rouses me, and I look at the clock. Three in the morning. I softly curse under my breath as I shift to adjust my torso and to alleviate the pain.
"You ok?" Kip asks groggily.
"Yeah. I think. My side is burning, and my leg feels numb," I reply, sitting up slowly and rotating my ankle, trying to bring the feeling back. He jumps up and crawls off the edge of the bed, turning on the lamp and sitting at my feet.
"Are you sure you're ok? Your ankles are swollen pretty badly."
"Yeah. They are, but that's not what's bothering me. Would you rub my side? Please?"
He nods and stands up, leaning over me and softly stroking my side. I groan, and he pauses. "You know, you really shouldn't make those noises. Do you know what that does to me?" I laugh, because it’s pretty damn obvious.
"Yeah. I know. Sorry. It was almost an instant relief."