Ty wanted to throw up. It was like being caught red-handed by someone you idolized and getting looked at like you were trash. Ty couldn’t handle that kind of look from Nick.
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“When?” Nick was barely controlling his temper, Ty could hear it in his voice. “Should I have raised my hand and said ‘me too’ when you and Zane were throwing down in New Orleans? Should I have done it in the hospital with Kelly lying there with a hole in his chest because your past came back to bite us? Or maybe on the ship. In front of all those men who were calling you captain. Should I have done it then?”
Ty blinked hard, nodding in understanding. Nick had always put the good of the collective above his own desires and needs. He would let an issue tear him to shreds inside before he caused a ripple amongst a team. The only reason he was saying it now was because Ty had pushed him to.
“You’re right.”
“I don’t care about being right,” Nick snapped. “I care about looking at my best friend and knowing he’s telling me the truth. And I can’t do that anymore!”
Ty couldn’t swallow. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t make a sound. He couldn’t do anything but stare at Nick and search desperately for a reason for Nick to trust him again. “I was following orders, Irish,” he finally managed to whisper. “If anyone will understand that, it’s you.”
“Oh, I understand.” Nick tapped a finger at his forehead. “I understand if you were given the order to put one between my eyes, you’d feel bad at my funeral.”
He turned and paced away, leaving Ty with his mind reeling, his heart in his throat.
“Guys,” Kelly said softly. “I understand this has to happen, but we need to shelve this for a few more days. Can we do that?”
Nick didn’t turn around. Ty took a deep breath and nodded, though, trying to regain his voice. He met Zane’s eyes, surprised to find his lover watching him sadly. “Okay,” Ty rasped. “Let’s see what else we can find. We know Amelia wasn’t what Milton was trying to sell last night. So there’s something else here.”
“Department of Defense technology,” Zane offered. “That has to be what he was selling.”
“We find out who the buyer is, we find the killer,” Nick said. His voice was still low and angry.
Kelly snorted. “How do we do that?”
“Okay,” Ty said with a nod. “Zane and Kelly stay here, go through that laptop for anything even remotely related to this. Nick and I will go talk to Burns and Stanton.”
Zane gave him a raised eyebrow, his eyes darting to Nick. “Is that a good idea?”
“It’s the first good one he’s had,” Nick grunted.
Ty glared at him, torn between hurt and angry. “Why not? We’re professionals here.”
Zane snorted. “Because . . . well, sending you two out there together is like giving a toddler a lit match and telling it to go play in the sagebrush.”
Nick and Ty shared a frown. “We’ll be fine,” Ty insisted. He shook himself out, squaring his shoulders. “Nick’s calm. I’m calm. Everybody’s calm. Murderers to find, kidnappers to kill.”
It was Zane and Kelly’s turn to exchange frowns. They both shook their heads.
“Nick can stay here with me and go through the emails; we’ll discuss the interviews from yesterday,” Zane proposed. “You and Kelly go question Stanton and Burns.”
Ty snorted but nodded. “Fine. Irish, let me have that gun.”
“Nope,” Nick said, and he sat in the chair beside Zane and crossed his arms.
Kelly grabbed Ty’s elbow and dragged him toward the door.
The constant press of Nick’s presence beside Zane was beginning to make him edgy. He didn’t know if it was simply because of how worked up Nick was, or if it was something about Nick’s current mien that made sitting beside him almost physically painful. Zane had always known Nick to be a calming presence in a room, not the epicenter of something that felt like it was about to explode. That was usually Ty’s role.
“You okay?” Zane finally asked him.
Nick turned his head but didn’t quite look at Zane. He nodded, but his jaw was tight. “He plucks people up and puts them out there, tells them they’re doing good. But he leaves them hanging in the wind. Just out there hanging and . . . dying. And for what? Their country?” He shook his head. “It’s bullshit.”
Zane didn’t even have to ask who Nick was talking about. “Burns tried to recruit you when he did Ty and Sanchez, didn’t he?”