“Where the motherfucking goddamned hell did you fucking go?” Only a Marine Corps DI could swear like that.
“I’m in Ketchikan, Dad.”
“Alaska?”
“Apparently.”
A moment of silence, then the sounds of the burr grinder and the faucet as Dad made coffee. “Explain.”
“I—I’m sorry, Dad. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think about how it’d make you feel, I just…I had to go. I couldn’t stay in Seattle another second. It was a crazy spur of the moment thing and I was drunk…but it was the right thing to do for me. I’m just sorry I worried you.”
“Worried me? Worried is what I’d be if you got in a fender bender or some shit. I heard from Rolando that you jumped in front of a seaplane during take-off and climbed into the plane drunk and still in your wedding dress, and took off in it? That’s not worry, that’s a heart attack. I tore ’Lando a new asshole for letting you do that. He should’ve cuffed you before letting you get on that fucking airplane.”
“I wouldn’t have let him. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was panicked, I was—wait, you didn’t have an actual heart attack, did you?”
“No, no. Thought I was having one, and even went in to see Doc Roberts, but he said it was called panic, not angina. I’m healthy as a horse, just worried about you. You’re all I’ve got, baby-cakes.”
“Everything in Seattle is stained by Michael. I’ll come back, I just don’t know when.”
“So you’re in Alaska?”
“It’s where the plane was going. It’s nice here.”
“You need anything?”
“A new heart?”
This got me a sad laugh. “You and me both, babe.”
“I just need time.”
“Are you somewhere safe, at least? You need money or anything?”
“I’ve got savings. I’m…” Was I safe? I mean, sort of. For Dad’s purposes, I decided, yes, I was safe. “I’m okay. I mean, I’m not okay, but I’m somewhere safe. I’ll be fine.”
“You want me and the boys to put the hurt on that ex asshole of yours?” He paused a moment. “Wait, he is ex, right? You’re not taking him back, are you?”
“No, don’t hurt him, he’s not worth it. And hell the fuck no I’m not taking him back. I’ll probably let him try to explain himself, at some point, but I’m not taking him back. I got my ability to forgive from you, after all.”
“Yeah, I don’t got that ability.”
“My point exactly, Dad.”
He chuckled. “Ah. Right.” He was quiet for another moment. “Sure you’re okay, baby-cakes? I got an old buddy from the Corps in Spokane who has a plane. I can send him to come get you.”
I should. I should have Dad’s Corps buddy come get me and bring me home. There was nothing in Ketchikan for me.
Except a certain tattooed bartender…
Nope.
NOPE.
No way. Bad plan. Super bad horrible terrible no good very very terribly stupid plan, having anything to do with Sebastian. Or his beefcake asshole Navy SEAL brother.
But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t have any good reason, and lots of good reasons not to, but I wanted to stay. I wasn’t sure where I’d go, or what I’d do, but as long as I was in Ketchikan—a long, long way from that stupid cheating motherfucking dickhead bastard cock-face shit-eating son of a bitch Michael—I might as well stay here and figure things out, like I’d originally planned…albeit planned might be the wrong word, but I was going with it.
You don’t grow up a DI’s daughter without learning how to string swear words together.
Had nothing to do with Sebastian.
I just needed a change of scenery, somewhere new and unfamiliar to put my thoughts in order, to sort out my feelings, to just…let myself be hurt and learn to get over it. Plus, the storm wasn’t letting up, so I was stuck here for another day or so anyway.
“Dru?” Dad’s voice shook me out of my thoughts. “Are you still there?”
I blinked, cleared my throat. “Sorry, Dad, I got lost in my head for a second. No, I’ll be okay for now. But keep that buddy on the hook, because I might need a ride out of here when I’m ready.”
“You got it, honey.” I heard the sound of coffee pouring. “Well, I’m gonna let you go, then. I love you, Dru. And I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
“Thanks. I love you too, Dad. And I’m sorry I freaked you out.”
“Now that I know you’re alive and okay and where you want to be, I’m okay. Take whatever time you need. I’ll be here when you get back, and if you need anything, anything, just call me. All right, honey?”