Bad Wolf(110)

Oh fuck, is the last thing that goes through my mind, and then it's quiet.                       
       
           



       



Stench of chemicals and air so cold and dry it strips all moisture from your eyes.

Fucking joy.

Yeah, I hate hospitals. Although I've only ever been here for the tests I had, to make sure I haven't caught any nasty disease from my previous lifestyle, I hate them.

Lifestyle. That's what the doc called it when he ordered the tests. Made it sound like a choice. Like an option.

"How's Seth?" I ask for the hundredth time, and I'm again ignored. "Is his leg broken?"

"The doctor will be right with you in a second," the nurse reassures me.

As if that's what I've been asking her. The hell.

"Look, I'm fine. I just wanna check on my friend, okay?"

"Please stay here until the doctor arrives to examine you." She gives me a stern look and goes away, closing the door behind her.

The fuck I will. I get up, slightly dizzy but well enough to walk, thank you very much. An arm wrapped around my ribs, my lower back burning like fire, aches blooming in every part of my body, I make my slow way out of the small room.

Need to find Seth. A ball of dread has settled in my gut. I'm afraid they aren't telling me what the fuck's wrong with him.

Because of me. He's in here because of me.

Fucking hell.

I find another nurse on the way. She seems startled to see me wandering about, and she says something to that end, but I cut her off.

"I'm fine. I need to find Seth. Seth Tucker. I'm family."

She opens her mouth to say something, seems to think better of it, and leads the way. She opens a door and hesitates. "Seth Tucker …  he's been admitted here before, a few months back. Another beating. You say you're family. Is it someone in the house who's beating you boys up?"

I'm touched by her concern. Her hazel eyes are kind.

"No, I say, it's just-"

"Bad luck," Seth says from inside the room, and I push the door open all the way. "Motherfucker, I've been asking and asking about you and nobody would fucking tell me where you were."

The nurse departs, saying something about the doctor, and I take in Seth's state.

Well, apart from the new cast on his leg, he doesn't seem too bad for wear. Of course, that cast is a big thing. Hard to miss.

"Broken, huh?" I sink on the bed, bone-weary. "Shit."

"Told you I got shit for luck." He shoots me a crooked grin. "Not your fault."

Yeah, right.

Goddammit. Seth is still recovering from the beating he got from Ev's psychotic ex-boyfriend, and now this.

"I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm so damn sorry."

"Shut up, J. I said it's not your fault. In fact, I'm glad to see you alive. I swear I thought they'd kill you, and I couldn't even move." He winces as he shifts on the bed, and I remember the thugs kicking him and beating him with the bats. "We need to change lifestyle, buddy. Somewhere tropical with palm trees and cocktails would do in a pinch."

Lifestyle. That word again. I reach up to rub the back of my head and everything hurts. My side, my arm, my head. Ow, the back of my head is killing me. I can feel a lump there. My jaw hurts like a bitch, and I bet I have a black eye from the blow.

Christ. That was close. A shiver travels through me, and I do my best to hide it, gripping the edge of the narrow hospital bed.

"I need to talk to the police."



The doctor proclaims me well enough to leave, filling out a prescription of strong painkillers and instructions to return if I experience double vision or nausea. A policeman-detective? Not sure-comes by to take our statement, and he leaves thoughtful after I explain to him my history with Simon and his position in the street hierarchy.

Before he leaves, though, he assures me Simon is going to jail, and will go on trial, and that's good. It's all I need to know right now.

Because I have just found out, by chance, that Mel is here, too. Mel Carter, the owner of the taco joint. My friend.

He had a heart attack soon after I left work. Not a very bad one, and it looks like he's gonna be okay. His family's here. His niece is apparently living in Madison, and she was listed as next of kin. She's sitting by his side right now, and he's smiling at her, partly proud, partly wistful. One hundred percent pleased.

And also pale. Sickly. So different, and yet the same guy who offered me food and a temporary shelter in bad times.

I've been peeking in from the half-open door. I don't want to interrupt, and I don't want him seeing me like this, limping, covered in scrapes and bruises.

Don't want to intrude. He's finally gotten back what he longed for: His family. His niece is telling him her father is on his way. They'll reconcile. He'll be with them.                       
       
           



       

I guess he'll move back to the farm. Close down the taco joint. He won't need me around anymore. Yeah, so I'm really happy for him. Fucking glad.

Doesn't make it any easier, though. I walk away, wandering blindly through the hospital, through brightly lit passages and halls, not knowing where I'm going and not giving a damn.





Chapter Twenty-One





Amber





Armed with the lion pendant that I've wrapped up in red paper, dressed in an old, white and yellow summer dress that flatters my curves-or so Kayla told me-I stand outside Jesse's apartment. According to my meticulous calculations, he should be back from working at the café by now.

I'm aware I'm taking a risk. He could be out. But Ev did say he doesn't go out much these days. Or nights. Whatever.

And if he isn't in …  Then I'll call him. I've made up my mind not to wait any longer.

The doorbell rings, and a second later the door swings open, held by a wild-eyed Travis.

I take a step back, wondering what's going on. "Hey, Travis."

"Amber. Is Jesse with you?" He looks around me, as if Jesse might be hiding behind my back. What with Jesse being so tiny and all …

"Is he out?"

"Yes! I mean, he isn't here. Where he should have been, because we were going to bake muffins together."

I gape at him, wondering briefly if this is a hallucination. "You were going to bake muffins. With Jesse Lee."

"Yes. He said you taught him how to make them. Breakfast muffins. And he's been really down recently, and I thought … " He stops, frowns at me. "Because of you."

Whoa. Just a sec. "He was down because of me?"

"Read my lips." Travis points at his mouth, which bears a smear of red lipstick. Nice. "He's been staring at the drawings he made of you. Baking your damn muffins. Frankly, it makes me scared for the human race."

"You make me scared for the human race," I mutter.

"Why don't you come in? You could wait for him, if you like." He opens the door wider, and I notice he's only wearing low-slung denim shorts.

Trying not to stare at his well-defined abs and more traces of red lipstick on his pecs, I sidle into the apartment, slightly dazed.

"You said he was supposed to be home by now?"

"An hour ago. Normally I wouldn't worry, but Jesse is like clockwork. When he says he'll be there, he is. The man can't lie and won't break a promise. It's not in his genes."

He can't lie. He won't break a promise. Crap. The evidence is mounting. He's been telling me the truth all along, and I …

Oh God. I didn't believe him.

"Amber is here," Travis announces as he guides me into the living room, and I'm in for another shock.

Jesse's other two roommates are there, sitting and looking …  somehow expectant. Anxious.

"You found J?" the tall, wide-shouldered one asks. Cage, or Gage, my memory informs me.

"Unless he's become invisible or decided to wait outside his own home, I don't think he has," the other one says. Alexander something. He drags a hand through his chin-length, blondish hair. "I'm telling you, something happened to him."

"And what are you, a fucking medium?"

"No, I just have a fucking brain, unlike you."

Travis groans. "Shut up, dickheads." He turns back to me. I realize I've been standing there, open-mouthed, listening to this conversation.

I close my mouth and clear my throat. Open my mouth again. "I never got the impression from Jesse that you were so concerned about him. I mean," oh great, way to put your foot in your mouth, Amber, "that you were so close. Baking together and all."

"Goddammit, it was just one time," Gage barks and looks contrite when I flinch. "Nobody bakes here. Nobody cooks. Not even Jesse. But Travis thought it wouldn't hurt to learn how to make those muffins. Jesse seems to like them." He grunts. "He seems to like you even better, but you vanished from his life."

I'm torn between laughing hysterically and crying. "Where is he? Have you tried his cell?"

"No answer. Why don't you try it?"

"Me?" Laughter wins out. "I haven't returned his calls or texted him back in weeks."

Three pairs of accusing eyes turn on me. Ow.

Under their watchful gazes, I pull out my cell and swallow hard. "You know this isn't going to work, right? You should try calling him again. Maybe his battery has run out, or … "