Wanna bet?
~ Jesse
Chapter Eighteen
Jesse
Holy shit. I try to push Cassie off me without hurting her, but she's holding on to me like she's drowning and I'm a lifesaver. What the fuck's up with this girl? I don't want to kiss her. I don't like her, she tastes wrong, and besides …
Don't want to kiss any girl but Amber.
I growl, finally shaking her hold off me and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "What the hell's wrong with you, huh?"
"Don't pretend you didn't want it, Jesse Lee." She has her hands on her hips, blue eyes flashing, and hell, she'd be sexy, she'd be hot if …
If I was interested. Which I'm not. "Stay away from me. I'm not … "
Was that Amber? I thought I saw her, eyes wide and dark, face white, mouth open. I thought I saw her turn on her heels and run.
"Amber?" I turn to go after her.
Cassie grabs my hand. "Jesse, wait. Do you really want to do this?"
I still. Cold fury spreads in my chest, in my face, until it feels numb. "Let. Go." I look pointedly at her hand on mine. "Now."
Her brows shoot up and some color leaves her face. "Okay." She draws her hand back, curls it into a fist. "But you must see it. She's not like you. She's taking this seriously. I'm doing you a favor, Jesse."
"Fuck you." If she was a guy, I'd have punched her, but she's a chick, dammit. "Stay out of my life, and don't you ever fucking touch me again, got it?"
I run after Amber. I'll explain this to her. She'll understand. She has to know I wouldn't do this to her. That I wouldn't do this at all, not since her.
Why did she run? Fuck, she doesn't believe I initiated the kiss, did she? Not after I told her I never kissed anyone before her. That I want to be with her.
But the cold feeling in my gut tells me she does believe it's my fault.
Shocker, I know. With my history, why would she trust me? But it smarts.
I shove people aside, their curses following me as I look for her frantically. Where did she go?
Amber. I thought she saw me, that she had faith in me. More faith than I have in myself. And now I can't see her anywhere. She hasn't left the reception, right?
Right?
Oh fuck.
I start running flat out as soon as the crowd thins a little, heading out. I pound out onto the street and glance right and left. Where are you, Embers?
A glitter to my left has me running that way before I even get a good look. It's her all right, her silver dress catching the light of a street lamp. But a cab overtakes me and stops in front of her. She opens the door and climbs inside.
"Embers!" I put in another burst of speed. Can't let her leave believing I cheated on her. Can't let her go. "Wait!"
But the cab speeds off, leaving me in its dust. I race after it for a few yards, waving my arms like an idiot and calling for her.
No use.
Dammit.
She's gone.
I slow to a halt on the street, brace my hands on my knees and struggle to catch my breath. A car honks behind me, and I stumble sideways, climbing onto the sidewalk.
Can't believe this happened. Can't believe she wouldn't even stay to talk to me, hear me out. I thought …
You thought she was different. That she'd treat you like someone worth hanging on to. Instead she turned her back at the first sign of trouble, just like everyone else in your life. Didn't wait two seconds to hear you out, give you the chance to explain yourself.
And the kicker is that you still want her and hope she'll take you back.
Seth finds me drinking whiskey by the pool some time later, sitting in a bamboo chair. I'm staring at my cell phone, at the lack of response after the tenth text I've sent her, when his shadow falls over me.
He pries the glass from my fingers and sits down on the chair across from me. He lifts it, swallows the rest of my whiskey down and grimaces. "So what the fuck happened here, man?"
I put down the damn cell and rub a hand over my face, then reach for the leather band around my wrist.
It's not there. I panic for a second before I remember giving it to her.
All right, then.
The music isn't as loud as before, and a glance around tells me most people have left. Who knows for how long I've been sitting here.
Fuck. I get up on unsteady legs, intent on catching a cab to her place and knocking on her door until she lets me in, lets me explain.
Fight for your girl, Zane had said.
The world tilts, and I sink back down. Whoa. I blink, waiting for the dizzy spell to pass.
Seth hasn't moved from his sprawl on the seat, not even when I weaved on my feet. Asshole.
"So how much have you drunk?" He lifts the whiskey bottle from its spot by my seat. He shakes it. It's almost empty. "Tell me this wasn't full when you started on it."
"It wasn't." Least, I don't think it was. Not completely.
"Good, because if you swallowed that much whiskey in half an hour, I'd be calling the fucking ambulance right now."
Fuck. I thought I'd been sitting here for five minutes only. I needed to catch my breath and I hoped she'd answer the phone, or my texts.
"I'm okay. I need to go, I'm … " I shake my head, frown at him. "Hey, just a sec. How come you're not flaming pissed?"
His brows lift. "I don't look pissed to you?"
Well. He's got a point, and yet … "Not enough. Not if you like Cassie that way."
"I don't."
Back up. I didn't quite catch that. "The fuck you don't."
"She's okay, I guess. No, Shane is the one who likes her." He pours the remnants of the whiskey into my glass-my glass, motherfucker-and swallows it down in one gulp. "I'm pissed on his behalf, not mine. Which is why I haven't punched your pretty face in."
Hell. "But the other night, outside Halo, you said-"
"That she's a nice girl." He shrugs. "I need to believe it, for Shane. Guy's head over heels."
"But you saw what she did." I feel cold, and I wonder if I'm coming down with something, or if it's all the whiskey I drank. "That's so fucked up."
"She just came on to you?" He cocks his head at me, eyes narrowing.
"Yes!"
"Why didn't you push her away?"
I gape at him. "Shit, you don't believe me."
"Just saying, man. She's a girl, and you're a strong guy. She can't have forced you."
I get up again, dizziness be damned. I jab a finger at Seth. "You saw her at Halo the other night. And for your information, motherfucker, I pushed her, but she wouldn't let go. Ask anyone who was around. Fuck."
Seth grabs my forearm and drags me back down. Balance shot, I topple backward, almost missing the chair.
"The hell?"
"I believe you." Low. Quiet. "So just sit tight and don't go drowning in the pool or anything, all right? You're right, I saw her at the bar the other night. She has a crush on you."
I shrug angrily. Not my fault, is it? "I have to go find Amber."
Because she saw it. She fucking saw it. And now she's not here, and I feel … half. Incomplete.
"I'll go with you, then." He gets to his feet and gives me a hand up. "Let's go."
Gratefulness fills me. "Thanks, man. Appreciate it." And not just the fact he's coming with me, but the fact he believes me.
"So," I say as he guides me along the pool with a hand on my shoulder, without which I'd have probably stumbled into the lit water already, "you're not into chicks, or am I missing something?"
He chokes on laughter. "Fuck's sake, J. Who says I don't like chicks?" He sobers as we walk past a cluster of people dancing to a ballad. The bride and groom are at the center, wrapped around each other, and anger flares again inside me.
Embers …
"That one." Seth is pointing at someone, and when I focus enough to look, I see Cassie, her back turned to me, talking to some people.
"Fuck her." I jerk away from him and start toward her, heat rushing up my neck, my hands fisting. "I'll punch the bitch. I don't give a flying fuck that she's a girl."
"J, no." Seth's hand closes around my bicep like a vise of steel, holding me back. "Not her, idiot. The brunette. Her friend. That's the one I want."
Seeing through the red haze of anger takes some effort. I finally notice the brunette. She's pretty, with large, dark eyes, shiny long hair and a tight, tall body, like a dancer.
"That Cassie's friend? Maud, or something like that?"
"Manon. Madeline Torres."
He sounds breathless. Jesus.
Oh yeah, the boy's got it bad for this particular girl.
"I take it all back," I mutter as he drags me away and out of the garden. "You really are into chicks. But honestly, why the fuck did you have to pick Cassie's friend of all people?"
I've been buzzing Amber's door for what feels like hours, but no reply. I try again calling her on the cell phone.
Nothing. Nada.
The call goes to voicemail. She's switched her phone off.
Seth is smoking beside me, the embers of his cigarette glowing in the night.