“So he’s a thirty-something hot guy.”
“I didn’t say anything,” I say, coughing because the drink burns my throat.
“You don’t need to. I can read your face like a book.”
I raise my brow. “Do I look like a Harlequin romance?”
She picks up her tequila. “No, more like a Fifty Shades of Grey.”
My eyes widen.
“Oh, god.” She almost spits out her drink but manages to swallow it, then slams her glass down. “You’re kidding. It is? He was like Grey? Did he spank you? Tie you up?”
“Shhhh!” I say.
“What? It’s not like anyone can hear us with this music blasting through the speakers,” she says. “C’mon, I wanna know. Give me the good stuff. My own sex life sucks.”
“Like mine is so great. I only did it with one guy.”
“Yeah, but he was smoking hot, and you guys did kinky stuff, didn’t you? I mean, that’s definitely worth talking about and swooning over.” She sucks on her lip. “C’mon, Hailey, I won’t tell a soul, I promise.”
“You promise?” I lower my eyes.
“Pinky swear on my current non-existent sex life.” She holds up her pinky and shakes mine.
“Fine, yes, he was in his thirties, and the sex was straight up kinky.”
She squeals. Too late do I cover her mouth with my hand. “Stop yelling!”
“I can’t. It’s too fucking cool. Like you literally went from zero to a hundred in terms of sex.”
“I know, but just keep it between us, okay?”
“I promise, but you gotta stop feeling ashamed.” She places her hand on my upper arm. “There’s nothing wrong with having sex, and there’s nothing wrong with talking about it.” She smiles. “So … what did he do?”
I grab my tequila and take another sip as she hangs on my lips. “Well, he kind of tied me up… and spanked me.”
“Both? Oh, my god.” She fans herself, grabbing her tequila. “I definitely need this drink now.”
“Okay, enough about him. How was class? Did I miss anything?”
“Miss anything? Well, apart from his cute booty … no, I don’t think so.”
I sigh out loud and shake my head. “You didn’t pay attention, did you? You just stared at his ass.”
“What?” She shrugs. “I can’t help it. If there’s good ass, I need to study it. They should give me points for that. In fact, an entire class should be dedicated to judging butts all day long. I’d fucking ace it.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, that’s enough tequila for you, Les.” I try to take away her glass, but she isn’t having it.
“No, I think I’ll have another one.”
“Let’s just dance,” I say.
She pulls the glass back so hard, the contents spill over and onto her shirt. “Ugh! Look at this. Now, I’m all wet.”
“That’s probably the first time in weeks,” I muse, and she gasps, then slaps my arm.
“Not funny, bitch. And for the record, I had sex”—she clears her throat—“last week.” She pulls my arm and drags me off my stool. “C’mon, we’re going to the toilet, and you’re gonna help me clean up.”
We go into the bathroom, where I grab a few pieces of toilet paper, and she pulls off her shirt. “No one here anyway,” she says as she holds her shirt above the sink and squeezes out the liquid.
“Here.” I hand her the toilet paper. “I don’t have anything else.”
“This is fine,” she says, dabbing them into the wet spots. “It’ll have to do.” When she’s done, she says, “Can you wait a minute? I need to use the bathroom.”
“Sure.”
I stay near the sink, while she goes into a stall.
And then I literally hear the biggest fart in the entire fucking world.
“What the fuck,” I mumble.
“Sorry.” She giggles out loud, and another fart comes out. “Fuck, I think this is gonna be a smelly one.”
“Okay, I’m gonna wait outside,” I say, laughing my ass off.
“I’m dying!” I hear a painful moan and then another fart, which is my cue to go.
As I walk out, I take out my cell phone to check the time, but when I put it back in my pocket, I bump into someone.
“Shit, sorry.”
“No problem.”
Fuck.
That.
Voice.
It’s as if fate is sticking its middle finger in my face right now.
This can’t happen twice, can it?
Yes, it fucking can, because he is standing in front of me. Again.
Thomas fucking Hard.
Boy, is he hard to avoid.