Zayden ruffles the hair on the left side of his head as he pulls the casserole from the fridge and starts spooning it into a pair of white bowls.
I look through Spotify for a minute and decide that he might actually like “Game Over” by Falling in Reverse. I feel like it's pop-y enough that Zay could get into it.
“Check this out,” I say as I start the music and Zayden starts bobbing his head, tossing the bowls into the microwave and pressing start. He dances his way over to me and puts his arm around my waist, dragging me into yet another impromptu dance session.
I go with it, letting him press our bodies together in a warm embrace that makes my thighs clench tight with need. It's a bouncy song, so our dance isn't exactly a romantic waltz, but it still makes me laugh when Zay twirls me in a circle and catches me again.
“This song's all about video game metaphors, I see?”
“Thought you might like it,” I say as his grin gets huge.
“Tomorrow,” he says, like that's super important for some reason. Zayden claps his hands together and I can't help but lock my eyes onto his tattoos, on the open book on one hand and the sword and shield on the other. The more I look, the more little things I see buried in there, like the cluster of balloons with skulls and crossbones on them, the smiling pit bull face, and the tiny hairless cat with a … sweater?
I clamp a hand over my mouth to stifle a laugh.
“Tomorrow,” I mumble as Zayden pulls the bowls from the microwave and curses at how hot they are. “What about tomorrow?”
“No school, no work. You want to stay up all night and play a game with me?” Zayden pauses and gives me a theatrical wink. “And not just a sex game, although we'll get to that eventually. You want to play something stupid and shitty and ridiculously fun?”
“Why the hell not?” I ask, hating the way my heart flutters and dances when Zayden does a fist pump and scoops up half of his casserole in one bite. I like the way he eats, with his bowl up close to his chin and his entire fist gripping the handle of the spoon. He scoops food into his mouth with a methodical sort of purpose. I don't know if I've ever actually noticed the way someone eats before. Is that a weird thing to notice?
“Come on,” Zay says, tilting his head to the side and leading me into the living room. He's done with his food before we even sit down, putting himself up against the arm opposite the TV and dragging me into his lap. With Zayden's chin on my shoulder and his arms wrapped around me, I feel that shifting, sliding thing happen inside my chest and try to fight it back.
I'm not going to fall in love with a guy just because I lost my virginity to him.
No fucking way.
“Okay, here's your controller,” he says, handing me a black remote from the coffee table. “Now, are you ready for me to beat your ass at this? I'm not holding back just because you've got a sexy mouth and a curvy little body.”
“Hah.” I set the food aside and take my controller in hand. “I'm ready for this. Bring it on, bitch.”
“Oooh, gettin' all aggressive, I see. I like it.” Zay licks the back of my ear and then turns on the TV as I shiver and fight back yet another rush of hormones and sex. We'll get to that eventually, he says. Hmm. We'll see. “Now pick a character and let's do this thing.”
I smile and lean into Zay's warm body, loving the strength of his arms around me and the patter of his heart. It's something I could get used to, if I were looking for love that is. But I have enough to worry about without adding one more thing to my plate.
No matter how much I don't want to, when it comes time to let Zayden go, I'll do it with grace and poise.
It's the best thing for both of us.
When I wake up on the couch, still wrapped in Zayden's arms, I almost have a panic attack.
We only have five days, four nights left. Four. And I just wasted one. I sit up suddenly and try to breathe through the irrational feeling in my chest. This is so dumb, I think as I look at his adorable sleeping face. He's sexy as hell, but like this, with his eyes closed and those full lips gently parted, he's kind of … sweet, too. When I reach up and run my fingers across the shaved side of his head, Zayden stirs, yawning and lifting his arms in a stretch.
I don't remember when, but sometime during the night he took his shirt off. I didn't realize it until now, but the jewelry in his nipples, they're miniature swords. I reach out and tug on one, making him groan at the same time Sadie starts to fuss.
“I'll get her,” I say as I stand up and Zayden yawns again, scratching loosely at his abs with those sexy fingers of his. The way his ink is done, it just draws the eye in an easy arc from fingertips to shoulder, across the chest, down the other side. I can never seem to just glance at it and then look away; I always have to stare.