“Seriously? Zayden, no offense or anything, but my decision to have sex had pretty much nothing to do with you. So don't get all excited or anything.”
“I'm not,” he says with pouty lips, dipping his finger back into the can again. The motion makes his red tank ride up and flashes me tantalizing hints of skin. I want to put my mouth on it and kiss my way down, see what it'd be like to take his cock into my mouth.
My eyes snap back up to Zayden's face.
“All I'm saying is that I like you. We have a pretty hot connection, don't you think?”
“This might sound like a dumb question,” I say as I spread the chicken-soup-rice mixture around the pan. “But isn't it always like this? The sex and the … all of this.” I point between us, trying to encompass the obsessive attraction I'm feeling. I'm not stupid, just inexperienced. Honestly, my ex, Anthony, and I never had anything like this heat I've got with Zay. I figured it was just because we hadn't had sex yet.
Zay smiles softly at me and shrugs his shoulders loosely, shakes his head a little. It's a conflicting answer to my question.
“Not really,” he says as tosses his can into the sink and turns the water on, rinsing it and tossing it into the recycling bin near the back door. Zayden grabs one of the other cans, fills it up about halfway and then adds it to the casserole dish, sliding his fingers over my hand and taking the spoon away.
“Not really?” I ask as he spins it around and then drops the spoon in the sink, taking my pats of butter and spreading them out across the top of the casserole like a crust. “I'm even more confused than I was when I left this morning.”
Zayden finishes with the butter, wipes his hands on a dish towel and pulls the oven open. He pops the food into it and heels the door shut, pausing to look at me with his hands on his hips.
“It's not usually this … intense,” he says, eyes sliding over to Sadie. It feels more like he's talking to himself than he is to me at this point. Maybe it's not me that has the problem? “We haven't done anything all that different and honestly, you're kind of amateurish.”
I purse my mouth as he chews his lower lip and nods his head like he's trying to convince himself of something. I cross my arms over my chest again and tip my head down, trying to give him a fierce look over the tops of my glasses.
“Excuse me? Are you trying to insult me? You're telling me I'm bad at sex? Well, screw you. How is that my fault? You knew what you were getting into.”
“No, no,” Zayden says, moving over to Sadie and lifting her up from the chair. When he tucks her under his chin and starts to rub her back, I feel like melting into a little puddle on the floor. “That's not what I'm saying. You're not bad, and that's the point. You have no clue what you're doing and yet … last night was the best sex I've ever had in my life. I can't figure it out.”
I feel my entire face heat up, shoving my glasses back into place and heaving out a big breath.
“What does that mean then? I don't get it.”
“Neither do I,” Zay says as he hugs his niece to his chest and gives me the weird half-smile version of his grin again. “All I want to do is fuck you though. Like, seriously, it's all I can think about.”
“And that's unusual?” I ask, even though my throat is tight and I cannot believe I'm actually having a conversation about this. Zayden's grin ratchets up a notch.
“Yeah, a little. I mean, I love sex. It's my first and third favorite past time, but usually I like to take breaks to play games or listen to music or whatever.” Zayden pauses and his grin fades a little, his eyelids dropping until they're half-shuttered and shadowed with intensity. “Brooke, when it's with you, I don't want any breaks.”
He turns away before I can come up with a response to that.
Holy crap.
I follow Zayden into the living room and watch him plop down on the couch with the baby. He sits her in his lap and picks up a colorful cardboard book.
“That's it?” I ask as I blink at him and he glances up at me.
“Hmm?”
“You're going to deliver a line like that and then just … walk away?” I move into the living room and watch as his eyes take me in slowly, pausing on my breasts, the curve of my hips, my calves in the brown suede boots I stole from my sister's closet.
“Um?” Zay pauses and looks up at the ceiling as Sadie giggles and laughs, grabbing his tattooed arm and putting her mouth on it. She's dressed up cute again, with a headband decorated in hearts and a pink frilly dress. It's clear that Zay's taking his babysitting duties seriously. I appreciate the fact that he's actually trying. “That's all I had to say. Just that. Why? What's up?”