Bad For Me (My Forbidden Rockstar)(2)

Music is my life. Ever since I was three years old, I’ve been singing. I don’t know how to do anything else.

“But maybe you need a change of pace,” my mom hedges.

I know where this is going.

“Maybe you should come check out the music scene in New York?” She asks hopefully.

I get ready to bite back at my mom, but I give up, I'm feeling too defeated today. She only wants what’s best for me, and I have blown off so many of her invitations to the East Coast because of Sid.

Sid.

Just thinking that name sends a dagger through my heart, and then causes it to explode in fiery anger.

Maybe my mom’s idea isn’t so bad. Maybe I do need a change of pace. Maybe New York would be good for me.

“I don’t know, Mom. Maybe...Maybe you’re right. Perhaps I should get out of LA and check out a new music scene.”

My mom squeals with glee so loudly that I have to hold the phone away from my ear.

“Really, Annie? Oh, I would love it!” she gushes, “I have plenty of room here so you could stay as long as you like, and we would have such a great time! I can show you all over the city! And I know that Sheldon would just love to finally get to meet you!”

My mom’s enthusiasm makes me wince as I realize how crummy a daughter I've been lately. I haven’t seen my mom in two years and I haven’t even met the infamous Sheldon. My mom is notorious for her many boyfriends, but Sheldon has been around for a year and a half and my mom actually seems happy with him, so he must be special.

“Well, maybe I can come out for a visit first, and then decide.” I say.

My mom would love that, and actually I would too. Now that I’m free from the vicious stranglehold my relationship with Sid had on me, I can go wherever I want.

“Yes, I would love that! You’re welcome any time! As soon as we hang up, I’m going to look at airfares!”

I laugh at her excitement. “Okay, Mom. Sounds good. I’m going to go now.”

“Okay, baby. Love you! Bye-bye!”

The line goes dead.

I shake my head and can’t help smiling at my mom’s infectious personality. I remember how I used to be like her until I became jaded, thanks to Sid and all the record executives' assistants I've met here in California.

I spend the rest of my drive home thinking about Sid.

The moment I met Sid, I was a goner.

I met him last year while working at one of the best jobs I had ever gotten, at a music bar just outside LA proper. I would wait tables three nights a week and then I would sing a set afterwards. I even had a couple bites on potential record deals, but that was before I ruined everything.

Sid headlined twice a week and he always brought in big crowds.

I knew better. I knew Sid was trouble just from looking at him. His dark tan complexion and velvety mocha eyes were dangerous. Sex appeal rolled off him in heavy waves. He had a gritty charm that made him seem raw and otherworldly at the same time. Both of his arms were covered in various tattoos, and he always knew how to show off his body just enough to make the girls swoon.

I tried to resist him, honestly I did.

But once he took the mic, I was just as bad as the groupies, practically ripping off my panties and throwing them at him.

You would have thought I had learned my lesson from the dickheads I had dated before, but I just couldn’t ignore Sid and his smoldering eyes and firm ass.

It didn’t take Sid long to notice me either. He was around one night during one of my sets, and I could feel his eyes on me from across the room. I may have overdone it that night, touching myself as I sang, and throwing my dark hair back and forth more than usual. I couldn’t help it though, something about Sid brought out the animal in me.

That night I found myself pressed up against a dressing room mirror, my skirt hiked up, and Sid banging me from behind. I tried to make it a rule not to sleep with guys right away.

It never worked.

We were inseparable after that. Sid said he wanted no one but me, and that I was The One.

I didn’t believe in any of that crap any more, especially after what I saw my parents go through, but Sid made me want to believe. Although looking back now, I realize that I missed all the warning signs. The way he kept his phone so guarded and secretive. The nights he forgot to show up to my apartment and claimed he had another gig. The random clothes I found at his place.

I was such a fool, blinded by a love for someone who did not deserve it.

I let my own music career ambitions slide as I let Sid dictate my life. I told myself that he would never cheat on me, that the sex was too hot and our bond was too strong. We talked about making our own record together and getting a place of our own.

One night I showed up at work unannounced to pick up my phone charger. I had left it there by accident but the timing couldn't have been better. I noticed that there was a woman I had never seen before waiting in Sid’s dressing room.