I told all this to Diane, hoping it would make her see that Murdo had no real favourites and that once he spotted her potential she’d be his darling!
But nothing I said could calm her down. ‘He had no right to say he’d inform my parents if my behaviour doesn’t improve. Who does he think he is? He’s nothing but a big Highland savage. How dare he speak to me like that.’
What she said frightened me. But the way she said it frightened me more. Because she sounded just like me. Arrogant, sure she was better than everybody else, looking down her nose at the rest of the world.
Belittling people to make her feel important. Murdo’s words came back to me.
I was glad to get away from Diane for once. Diane frightened me today.
Was that only yesterday I wrote that? So much has happened since, it seems like an age away. I went downstairs after I’d finished writing my diary and I found Mum crying in the kitchen. Mum never cries, and that scared me.
‘What’s wrong? Has something happened?’ I asked her.
But she wouldn’t say.
‘It’s him, isn’t it?’ I jerked my head towards J.B. in the living room. ‘What’s he done?’
‘He’s done nothing, Lissa,’ she snapped at me.
There was an atmosphere all through our meal. Mum hardly spoke and she even scolded Margo when she tried to stuff her dinner into the back of Jonny’s fire engine. She usually laughs when Margo does that. I’ve heard her giggling as she lifted one of Jonny’s trucks and an avalanche of mashed potatoes and mince cascaded from the back. Last night, Margo was scolded and the poor little thing looked puzzled and hurt.
J.B. put his hand over Mum’s and squeezed it. And do you know what? She pulled her hand away. I’ve never seen her do that before. Something was going on, but what?
It was midnight when I woke up, thirsty. I was still half-sleeping as I stumbled out of my room and made my way downstairs for a glass of milk.
As I passed the living room I heard his whispered, furtive voice. J.B. was on the phone.
I crept closer and listened.
‘I hope you know the risk I’m taking,’ I heard him say softly. Then after a pause when the other person was obviously speaking he added, ‘You’ll protect me? Now, where have I heard that before?’ He didn’t speak then for a moment and I realised by the odd ‘OK’, ‘Yes’ that he was listening to instructions. It was his final words that told me everything I needed to know.
‘I told you. I’ll do what you want. I know when I’m beat.’
Forget the glass of milk. I took the stairs two at a time to get back into my bedroom before he came into the hall.
But I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t. Because it was all happening again. He was going back to work for Magnus Pierce. He’d tried to keep away from him, but now, without a job, he knew he was beat. Soon, he’d be back in prison and Mum couldn’t take that for a second time.
Why was he such a fool? Would he never learn? No wonder Mum was crying. I never hated him so much as I hated him last night, knowing he was going to ruin what little we had.
And I couldn’t do a thing to stop him.
There was an atmosphere in the house this morning too, and I only added to it. I couldn’t look at him. I only heard Mum say one thing to him, and it just confirmed what I already knew. ‘I don’t want you to do this, Jonny. It’s too dangerous.’
And his whispered answer. ‘I don’t have any choice, Liz.’
The phone rang while I was forcing down some breakfast and I held my breath as Mum answered it.
‘Lissa, it’s for you. It’s Diane.’
With a sigh of relief I hurried to the phone. Diane’s voice was a torrent of breathless whispers. ‘You promise you’ll back me up this morning. No matter what?’
‘Diane, what’s wrong?’
But she didn’t answer me. ‘I can’t talk now. But just you promise. Anything I say … anything!’ She repeated it through gritted teeth. ‘You agree with me. Promise?’
‘What is it you’re going to do?’ I felt sick to my stomach. She was planning something. Something terrible, I just knew it.
‘Can’t talk any more. Have to go.’
And the line went dead.
I was angry with the world this morning. That’s my excuse. No one cared about me. Not my parents. Certainly not J.B. None of my classmates. They didn’t even talk to me any more. And definitely not Murdo. It seemed I, along with Diane, was the only one of his students who lacked potential.
Diane was the only friend I had. I couldn’t risk losing her. No matter what she’d planned I decided, I’d be behind her one hundred per cent.