She was waiting for me when I walked through the school gates next morning. She winked and whispered, ‘It’s all over the school. The cleaners found it this morning, and, know what? The vandals are getting the blame. Didn’t I tell you?’
English was our first subject and as we filed in there were gasps of horror from the rest of the class. Like coloured snow the shreds of the collage lay pathetically around the floor. They still hadn’t been cleaned up. I couldn’t see Ralph Aird at first. I didn’t even look, so sure that guilt was written all over my face.
In the bright light of the morning what we had done seemed so much worse. The faces of the characters, lying askew all over the floor, jumped up at me accusingly. It seemed pathetic and sad. Murdo came striding into the room, slamming the door behind him. I have never seen him so angry. His wild hair stood on end as if he’d been pulling at it with his short stocky fingers.
His voice echoed round the class like the desperate wail of a banshee. ‘How could anyone do such a cruel, senseless thing?’
He knew it had been me. At that moment I was sure of it. I couldn’t meet his eyes and kept mine fastened on the desk in front of me. Trying hard not to listen to his words, finding that impossible.
‘What kind of people do things like this? To destroy something beautiful is bad enough. But we know all the hard work, the care, the time that has gone into this beautiful work of art. We know how hard Ralph worked, all the enthusiasm he put into it.’ Suddenly his voice became once more a terrifying bellow and he lifted his desk lid and slammed it down hard. ‘And some pathetic idiot who has nothing in his life comes along and in the space of sixty seconds destroys something wonderful!’
Sixty seconds. That must have been how long it took. I had been frenzied, like someone crazy. And I hadn’t once thought of it like that. All his care, all his enthusiasm. I had destroyed that too.
I felt my eyes pool with tears, but then half the class were crying. Diane turned to me. Was she crying too? She was sniffing and she said softly, ‘I know, Lissa. How could anybody be so rotten?’ And if I hadn’t known the truth, I would have believed she meant that.
Murdo kept Ralph behind after class. It was my first chance to actually see Ralph’s face. He had been slouched down in his seat, silent the whole lesson. Now, I saw for the first time that his face was chalk white. He stood in front of Murdo and Murdo’s voice was soft and comforting. I hung back at the door and watched.
‘There are no words for how I feel, Ralph. For what I could do to these people who did this.’ He paused. Spittle was bubbling through his clenched teeth like lava ready to erupt from a volcano. ‘This was a hellish act. But we can start again, Ralph. There’s always next year’s competition.’
I could only see the side of Ralph’s face. ‘It doesn’t matter, sir,’ he said in a flat, lifeless voice. ‘My dad’s right. He says there’s no point even trying. Nothing ever works out for people like us.’
And though I could only see the side of Ralph’s face, it was enough to make out a trickle of a tear.
That was when Murdo noticed me. His wild eyes fixed on mine. I felt my whole head go red, not just my face. He knows, I thought frantically. He must know. I ran out of the classroom, bursting through the doors that led out on to the playground.
‘I don’t know why you’re so upset.’ Diane sounded annoyed as we left school that day. ‘It’s done now. And he can always make another for next year.’
I thought about Ralph and what he had said. ‘There’s no point even trying.’
‘Maybe he won’t,’ I said.
Diane shrugged. ‘Well, if he doesn’t that’s his problem.’
‘Maybe we should just confess and face up to it.’ The thought terrified me.
‘You must be joking!’ For a moment a different Diane flashed in her eyes. One that kind of frightened me. Then she smiled. ‘I mean, I would get into as much trouble as you and that wouldn’t really be fair. I never really did anything. I was just the lookout.’
‘I won’t mention you. I promise.’
She was already shaking her head. ‘That’s not fair, Lissa. You don’t do that to a friend. You do still want to be friends, don’t you?’
And of course I did. Diane was the only friend I had. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her.
She was right anyway. It was done. Me confessing wouldn’t help Ralph Aird. Diane said if he was made of good stuff he would bounce back. Make another for next year’s competition. That’s what Diane would do, she said. That’s what people like us would do.