Why did I even marry her in the first place? I never loved her, that’s for sure. I guess I felt a sense of responsibility to my child and I wanted a stable family environment for it to grow up in. Amber railroaded me; told me we should get married straight away. She didn’t want to be fat in the wedding pictures and she couldn’t wait until the baby was born because she didn’t want to spend her wedding night caring for a newborn.
To shut her up, more than anything, I agreed. We got married in a short service at the courthouse. I can’t even remember what she wore.
I clean up the vomit and get Amber out of the shower before dressing her and putting her back to bed.
“I’m goin’ to the club.”
“Please, don’t leave me,” she begs, climbing to her knees, her body swaying, her words still slurring.
I sigh, wearily. “I’ve got to go. You need to get yourself sorted out. I ain’t livin’ with this shit forever, Amber,” I reply harshly.
She blinks. I’ve never once spoken those words to her and they shock her. To be honest, I had resigned myself to living like this for the rest of my life, but ever since meeting Jenn this week, something inside of me has changed. All of a sudden I don’t want to live with an alcoholic for a wife for the rest of my life. I don’t want to live in a loveless marriage.
I want something better. I want a woman who I want to come home to.
I take a good look at her. Her mouth is open in shock and she’s staring at me with sad eyes. Her blonde hair un-brushed, ratty and wet. Her skin a ghostly pale color, her cheeks sunken, her bony arms barely supporting her malnourished frame.
She needs help.
I’ll get her help. Then, I’ll leave. Start afresh. And, maybe, for once in my life, I’ll have something better.
I don’t go to the club.
After picking up a pizza and a six-pack of beer, I find myself pulling into Jenn’s drive. Her car is there, so I stop behind it and cut the engine.
Balancing the beer and the pizza in one hand, I knock using the other and wait for her to answer.
Thankfully, it doesn’t take her long.
“Switch?” She says upon opening her door. “What are doing here?” She looks over my shoulder, as if she’s expecting someone to be with me.
“You gonna let me in, bright eyes? This pizza’s fucking hot and it’s burning a hole through my arm.”
“Oh,” she gasps, her good manners taking over. She moves out of the way and lets me in. I set the pizza on the counter, grab a slice and pop the top of a beer before holding them both out to her.
“W-what’s going on?” She stammers, looking fucking adorable in her confused state.
“You’ve gotta eat, right?” I shrug, still holding my hands out to her.
Warily, she takes the beer and sets it on the counter before taking the pizza and reaching over into a cupboard to get some plates.
I toss a few slices onto the plate she hands me, and load hers up with some more as well. “Grab the beer, will you?” I take the plates and walk over to her couch.
She sits in the far corner of the couch, determined not to sit close to me at all. As she nibbles on her pizza, I don’t miss the concentrated glances she keeps sending my way. I don’t call her out on it though. Truth be told, I like her looking at me. Especially when she gets that lusty glaze clouding her eyes.
“Switch,” she calls, her voice solid. “I’m going to be blunt.”
“Okay?” I resist the urge smirk at her warning tone.
“Why are you here?”
Before I can answer, her eyes go wide and she winces. “I’m sorry, that came out incredibly rude. What I should have said is, thank you so much for the pizza and the beer, but I don’t understand why you’re here, considering you’re wearing a wedding ring. I can’t imagine why you’re not at home with your wife.”
I want to tell her the truth. I want to tell her that despite only meeting with her one time, she evokes feelings in me that I’ve never felt before. But, I don’t want to push her too far and end up pushing her further away.
“I thought we should get to know each other before the ball,” I say, lamely. Fuck! I should just man up. My pops never raised no damn pussy-assed man.
“Oh.” Her beautiful lips make a perfect ‘O’ and I want nothing more than to suck the plump bottom flesh into my mouth. If I’m not mistaken, a small dash of disappointment flicks across her eyes.
“Actually, that’s bullshit,” I admit, surprising myself. “I’m here because I can’t get you out of my fuckin’ mind. You’re all I think about. Yes, I have a wife. But, it’s not what you’re thinking. I’ll explain it all in due time, but honest-to-God, Jenna, I’m here because I want to explore things with you.” I lay it all out, surprising even myself with my forthrightness.