Layla stands and raises her hand. ‘Well, normally, the sister of the groom never speaks, but I just have to repay the favor my brother paid during my wedding when he stood up and gave some friendly advice to my husband.’
She looks sideways at her brother and then proceeds to tell everybody two of Shane’s most embarrassing alcohol-soaked stories.
One involves him getting so drunk when he was sixteen, he ended up losing his keys, climbing up the drainpipes and jumping in through his upstairs bedroom window, only to find that he was in the next door neighbor’s bedroom.
‘The widow was glowing the next day,’ she says to whistles, catcalls, and a thunderous applause of approval.
Layla then suggests that I sew our front door keys to his clothes.
The other story also involves a younger Shane getting so drunk that he falls into a patch of rosebushes and gets scratched to bits. He goes home and carefully applies plasters all over his face and falls into bed. In the morning, their mother finds about ten plasters in the shape of his face on the mirror. The crowd roars with laughter and Layla advises me to plant thornless roses in my garden.
And with that, she ends with the words, ‘Jokes aside, you’re both so incredibly lucky. At the end of this ceremony, Shane, you get to go home with a wife who is warm, caring, beguiling, and who radiates beauty and grace from every pore. And, Snow, you will go home tonight having gained a lovely dress and a gorgeous ring.’
That brings a smile even to Shane’s sour lips.
Afterwards, Robbie Williams’ She’s The One comes on, and Shane takes me by the hand and leads me to the dance floor.
‘Do you know what I love most of you?’ he whispers.
I shake my head.
‘Your lips.’
‘So soft and delicious. I once dreamed of licking them.’
As we whirl and dip, I feel as if I am floating on air. There’ll never be another day like this. Never.
And then suddenly the disco lights come on and bangra music starts, professional dancers fill the floor, and Shane lifts his hands and starts doing the bangra! I cover my cheeks with my hands and laugh. My goodness! He really doesn’t do things by half. And then I join in as well. Layla, BJ, Jake, Lily, Liliana, Dom and Ella all hit the floor. And all of them have some ‘moves’ they have learnt.
My heart feels as if it will burst with joy at this beautiful, beautiful family I have fallen into. All those years when I yearned to be in a happy family are suddenly here. Shane catches me in a totally non-bangra move and, laughing, I realize there’ll be many days like this. Many more.
Forty-two
SNOW
Christmas Eve
I hear the key in the door and I run to it. Standing on tiptoes, ‘I,’ I say, and kiss his forehead, ‘love’ I say, and kiss his nose, ‘you,’ I say, and I kiss his right eye, ‘Shane,’ I say, and kiss his left eye, ‘Eden,’ I say and kiss his lips. It was meant to be a peck, but he deepens it and kisses me passionately. I pull away and look at him in surprise.
‘Is that the I-want-to-take-you-to-bed kiss?’ I ask with a smile.
‘It wasn’t a bedroom kiss. I have something for you,’ he says very seriously.
My eyebrows rise. ‘What is it?’
He takes my hand and leads me to his study. He sits me down at his desk and opens his laptop screen. He turns the machine towards him and taps a few keys, then rotates it back to face me.
‘What is it?’ I ask curiously.
‘Your Christmas present,’ he says quietly, and walks out.
There is an arrow pointing to the left in the middle of the screen. I click on it and my eyes widen and my hands fly up to cover my open mouth.
In a panic I hit the arrow, the video stops playing, and I close my eyes. My heart is pounding and my breath is coming out sharp and fast. For a few seconds I do nothing, just stare at the frozen screen.
The frame shows a man, his eyes horrified and his mouth open wide in a scream of white hot pain. He has been tied up to some kind of wooden contraption, and behind him a black man with the biggest penis I have ever seen in my life is sodomizing him. To their right there is another man standing by and watching impassively. My eyes return to the man screaming. I recognize you. He was not screaming then. He was laughing, taunting … lusty. ‘Give it to her, give the bitch some cock.’
To my surprise a smile comes to my lips. Give the bitch some cock.
My hand moves seemingly of its own accord and my finger presses the arrow.
The images start moving. My smile stays, then widens cruelly. Now you know what it feels like to be totally helpless.
I watch the coward slobber and scream and beg. Snot runs down into his mouth.
Tsk, tsk, even I didn’t cry like that.