Bad Boy's Bridesmaid(43)

     



 

Well, fuck. I already did that.

There had to be more, right?

"Now, I understand you've prepared your own vows … "

Wait.

Dad stopped preaching, but it couldn't be that simple.

My feelings for Mandy were complicated, a tangled mess of ill-intentions that created life-changing consequences for both of us.

But maybe that's what love was?

It wasn't Lindsey's wailing tears as she pledged undying, forever  devotion to her snuggle-buddy bear. And it wasn't Bryce awkwardly  reading a speech Lindsey must have written for him.

Love was what I felt for Mandy.

Responsibility. Desire. Protectiveness.

And if she hadn't figured it out yet, then it'd be up to me to show her exactly the type of life we'd make together.

Lindsey and Bryce finished their vows, prayed, and listened to Mandy  offer a teary reading from that same damn verse in Corinthians everyone  always cited.

I was supposed to give a second reading, but I knew a better passage. I  walked to the lectern without a Bible. Years of my father's tutelage and  forced Bible studies at night ended with me memorizing most of the  book. The passage hadn't made sense until now.

The church silenced for me. I looked only at Mandy.

"1 John 4:18." I said. "There is no fear in love."





23





Mandy





There is no fear in love.

Nate's words rang in my mind, beyond the final pronouncement of Lindsey and Bryce as husband and wife.

He spoke every word during the reading with that playboy confidence he  used to chase me. It wasn't his assigned passage, but he didn't recite  it for Lindsey and Bryce.

He read it to me.

For me.

Everything inside me turned from a jumble of confusion into a mooshed  mess of panic, anxiety, and fear. My head hurt, I hadn't slept, and  every beat of my heart threatened to shatter it into a million jagged,  lovesick pieces.

I wanted Nate, but I would not marry him because we were having a baby. I  wasn't going to risk everything on a man who would use marriage as an  excuse for a mistake.

I could protect my own baby, and I didn't need a ring on my finger to justify carrying the child.

I certainly didn't need some bad boy swooping in to play baby daddy  while he beat the shit out of our best friend ten minutes before the  start of the wedding.

Rick bled through the ceremony, and we'd never get the deposit back on a blood-stained tux.

Stress cracked us all, and the only tape I had to piece us together was  supposed to stripe my sister's chest so her dress wouldn't reveal the  tips of her wedding bells for everyone to see.

It'd be a miracle if I survived the rest of the wedding without any more  fistfights, banishments from the party, or unexpected pregnancies.

The bridal procession crossed out of the church and into the courtyard  outside. The guests lined up to congratulate the new bride and groom.

No one was throwing rice. Not good. I hiked up my dress so I could run inside for the bag, but Rick stopped me.

"Don't bother," he said. "The caterers accidentally cooked it."

Well, the party was off to a good start. At least we'd have another side for the taco bar.

Lindsey didn't seem to mind the riceless well-wishing. She leapt into  Bryce's arms and gave him a kiss. The crowd cheered, and the bridal  party hooted.

I applauded, though my hands stilled as I caught Nate's gaze. He broke away from the groomsmen and stalked towards me.

Now or never.

I had no idea if I was ready to confront him.

Fortunately, my mother bombarded me. It might have been the first time I was relieved to see her.

She snaked her hand around my wrist and tugged me off the stairs to the  church. Her dress didn't fit her, and the hoochie-momma red mortified  Lindsey, but at least we'd talked her out of singing Natural Woman  during the ceremony.

She'd sing it during the reception instead.

Mom dabbed her eyes with a tissue.

"You were good to your sister today." She stroked my cheek. "I'm proud of you."

My heart swelled. I loved hearing that from Mom so much that I let it  slide that I could only do right by her if I was doing right by Lindsey.

"Thanks, Mom."

She tucked my hair behind my ear. Brushed a wrinkle from my dress.

Frowned at how the shoes fit my feet.

I cleared my throat to return her attention to me. She smiled.

"I wish you hadn't told me I was going to be a grandma in such a fitful way today."

I braced for it.

"But … I know you'll be a better mother than I was."

My eyes widened. I nearly choked. It was as close to an apology and  compliment as I could get, even if she backhanded it to me. She expected  sympathy, for me to assure her she was an excellent mother. That was  fine. It was the best I had gotten out of Mom in forever.         

     



 

"You're not mad at me?" I asked.

"You can't be mad about a baby."

"That's what Dad said."

"Well … " She searched over the courtyard, watching as he gave Lindsey a  big hug. "He's pretty wise about some things. Certainly not everything,  but you should listen to your daddy about that. Nothing made us happier  than raising you girls."

"Really?"

"If I had paid half as much attention to him as I did when I chased you  rugrats around … " Mom shook her head. "Anyway. You keep that little  bundle close to your heart. Sometimes it's hard to show how much you  really care. But you're a special girl, Mandy. Your baby will always  know."

Mom kissed my cheek before screeching to meet her cousin. I'd never make it through this reception without breaking down.

I expected his hand on my arm, but I wasn't ready to deal with him in  the middle of the festivities, surrounded by friends, family, and  everyone already gossiping about the expecting Prescott girl.

"Nate, later," I said. "Please."

His voice was low, a comforting grumble. "Not later. Right now. We have to talk."

"Not here."

"I won't wait any longer." He pressed close behind me. "Come on. We'll find some place quiet … "

His hand grasped mine. My stomach churned.

Oh God, I could not throw up in the middle of the wedding.

Fortunately, Lindsey squealed.

"Pictures!" My sister clapped her hands, summoning her bridesmaids to a  tight circle of drunken, bouncing fun. "Mandy, come here!"

Oh, no way was I jumping into that fray. The strapless dress already  struggled to contain my chest. One good jiggle and I'd cause an even  bigger scandal than the rumor of my secret pregnancy.

The other bridesmaids pulled me from Nate. Lindsey hugged me, squeezing  until I thought she'd pop the baby out. She ordered everyone away and  demanded the first picture be with me.

I knew my sister. The next hour of our lives would become a hellish  blitz of flashes, poses, and duck-faces. As per her instructions, we  became a team of string-less marionettes for her wedding pleasure.

She shoved me into Rick's arms and ordered me to smile with a bouquet of  billowing white flowers. He didn't need pictures, he needed  pain-killers. Nate had handed him a baggie of ice, but it hadn't stemmed  the swelling yet.

Lindsey hummed. "Rick, turn to your right. Pose with your good side."

"I can't feel my good side," he grumbled.

"Just guess."

I reached for his cheek, touching the tender injury. "I'm sorry."

Lindsey snapped at me. "Mandy! Hands down!"

"Sorry," I said as he flinched and my sister shrieked. "Are you hurt?"

Rick shrugged, offering a pained smile, but nothing that couldn't be  Photoshopped to Lindsey's specifications. "I'll be okay. Probably  deserved it."

"No, you didn't."

"I should have talked to Nate first." Rick wound his arm in mine. "He's crazy about you."

I didn't answer. The flashes momentarily blinded me, and I used it as an  excuse to avoid the conversation. Rick lowered his voice.

"I know it's scary," he said. "And I know he hasn't been the greatest man in the world. But you're a girl worth changing for."

"You're very sweet."

"You should go find him."

I squeezed his arm. "What if … what if that's a mistake?"

Rick grimaced for the camera one last time before the rest of the  bridesmaids crashed our picture. "And what if it's the greatest thing  you ever did?"

Lindsey berated the photographer into a hundred different shots of her  "second kiss" with Bryce, and Rick casually passed his brother a tube of  Chap Stick for the next twenty she demanded.

I snuck away once Lindsey began her one-on-one pictures with the  bridesmaids, peeking through the church to find Nate. Of course, I  wasn't permitted to cross the threshold into the yard where the  reception was held, not until the bridal party was formally introduced. I  nearly broke out anyway.

Bryce caught me before I took a step.

"Nate's gone," he said. "Didn't he tell you?"

My heart stopped-the only defense it had against breaking. I collapsed against the wall, my eyes welling with tears.

"Whoa! No!" Bryce pulled me into a hug. "The caterers didn't have a bartender like we thought. There's no alcohol."