My voice broke. Mom and Lindsey stilled, but it didn't last long.
Mom fanned herself with a hand, but she was going down. Not that she was a fainter, but the only scandal bigger than a pregnant bridesmaid was an unconscious mother of the bride.
"Oh, I can't believe this." Mom stumbled back to the salon and collapsed in the nearest chair. "My baby! In trouble! Oh, I'm so ashamed."
I bristled. "I'm not ashamed. I was scared to tell you and Lindsey, but I should have never been reluctant to tell my family about this."
Mom sobbed big fat crocodile tears, and the bridesmaids clustered to help her. I turned to Lindsey, but my sister stared at me, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed.
"I promise I'll do everything I can to make your day perfect," I said. "And I know I've made mistakes. I'm sorry. But I've only ever wanted to be a good sister. I want to help."
"You wanna help?" Lindsey took Mom's hand. "I can't even look at you right now. I gave up my dream wedding because you've turned it into a nightmare. Just leave."
"Leave?"
"I want you out of the wedding."
Why did it hurt? I sucked in a breath. It burned inside me, but I wasn't going to argue. I was tired and upset and it wasn't healthy for me or the baby.
I blinked away tears, but I nodded.
"Okay," I said. "I'm sorry."
I grabbed my purse and rushed out of the salon before they saw me cry.
I made it onto the sidewalk before I remembered I hadn't driven.
It didn't matter. Where the hell would I go? Home? To find Nate?
God, I hated feeling so … alone.
And it was all my fault. I was the one who pushed Nate away. I was the one who hid the truth from everyone. And I was the one who never stood up for herself when I should have.
A voice called to me from the SUV parked in the salon's lot.
"Boy trouble? Or … should I say … man trouble?"
I turned. Dad waved at me. He patted the car door.
"Get in, Mandy-Pandy. You look like you could use a ride."
I frowned, climbing into the SUV. "What are you doing here?"
"Promise not to laugh?"
"Have I ever made that promise?"
"Fair enough," he said. "I was waiting for your momma. I hoped I could talk to her."
That made one of us. "Good luck."
"Uh-oh. What happened?"
I was sure the bridesmaids had filmed it. I didn't have the energy to explain. "Can you take me home?"
"Don't you want to head to the church?"
I shook my head.
Dad squeezed my hand. "Okay. I'll take you home."
He reached for the steering wheel, but I didn't let his hand go. In that moment, I didn't care if I was twenty-three and carrying a baby or if I looked like I was three years old clinging to my father. I needed him. If anyone would understand, it'd be him.
He drove me to my apartment, and I welcomed him inside even though the tiny kitchen still cluttered with pots and pans and messes from the tacos. I wished I could've hidden it, but Dad smirked.
"Looks like my place. Like father, like daughter."
I hated myself for sniffling and being so sensitive. "Sorry, Dad."
He pulled me into a hug. "Don't you sorry, Dad me. Tell me what's happening. Why aren't you getting ready for the wedding?"
"Lindsey kicked me out."
"She what?" Dad pulled away. "Why?"
My lip trembled. He'd hear it soon enough anyway. "Because … I'm pregnant."
He didn't yell.
Didn't swear.
I held my breath as Dad plopped into the couch and stared at the wall. He cleared his throat. Once. Twice. Three times?
Uh-oh. He was upset.
"I'm so sorry, Dad."
Dad's eyes widened. He looked at me and broke into a smile. "Don't be sorry about a baby, Mandy. Never be sorry about a baby."
The pressure eased, but my conscience didn't. I didn't know what to say.
"I'm not apologizing for the baby," I said. "I'm … I'm sorry I disappointed you."
He pulled me onto the couch with him. I rested my head on his shoulder just like when I was little.
"You haven't, Mandy. How … did this happen? Is it Nate's?"
"How did you-"
"I told you. You can't keep anything from your dad … " He flinched. "Except a pregnancy, I guess. But I think I would have figured it out after a couple months."
"Probably."
"Do you care about this boy?"
I nodded. "I do. But … he didn't take the news well."
Dad tensed. "Why? What did he do?"
"He offered to marry me."
Dad's sigh of relief was unnecessary. "Sounds like he did the right thing."
"No, he didn't. No one understands. Dad, I can't marry him because of a baby. We've only been together for these past three months, and during most of them, I was hiding."
"Hiding?"
"I've been trying to keep this a secret until after the wedding, when I could tell everyone without worrying about pissing Lindsey and Mom off. I tried to avoid everything that happened just now, and it went even worse than I could have imagined. Nate's mad. Mom's lost it completely. Lindsey is furious."
Dad tugged me closer. "Mandy, what's the real reason you kept it secret?"
"Real reason?"
"I know you. You've never hidden from anything in your life. You face your problems head on … or, you used to. Why did you really hide?"
I didn't ask if he meant hiding the truth from Nate or the rest of our family. I swallowed.
"Our family has been through enough," I said. "I wanted one event that might have made us feel whole again. Everyone's been fighting and angry. I thought if I took the brunt of all the insanity, maybe I could keep everyone calm enough to … I don't know. Be a family again, if only for a night."
I felt stupid saying it, like I was a little girl who couldn't understand why her parents split. I did understand, but that didn't mean I liked it. Dad ruffled my hair. I smirked.
"I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't been taking your divorce very well," I said.
Dad chuckled. "In case you hadn't noticed, neither have I."
"It's just … no one seems happy. I always thought love would be like … a fairy tale. You'd know the instant you were meant for someone, you'd get married, and it'd be … perfect."
"There's your problem," Dad said. "There is no perfect relationship, just like there's no right time for a baby. Every couple is different. They love and they hate and they desire each other, and none of it is the same for other people. Don't measure your possible happiness based on the misery of others. Not when you deserve to experience all the love in the world."
"But what happens if it fails?"
"Marriage is not solely about love. It's work and commitment. I don't believe any two people are meant to be, but I know plenty of people who rely on fate and chance to solve their problems. You have to nurture your relationship. That's the secret of marriage, and that's why mine failed. And it's also why I've been trying to get your mother back. I know how it should be done now."
I sighed. "I can't believe you're so forgiving."
"Your mother forgave more."
"But even after Marcus Washington, you're still chasing her."
Dad stiffened. He frowned at me. "Marcus?"
I arched an eyebrow. "She's … been having an affair with him."
"She what?"
Oh shit.
I leapt off the couch. "I thought you knew! You said you had forgiven her!"
"Forgiven her? I didn't even know they … she's having an affair with Marcus?"
"Yes! Remember? I walked in on them at the country club!"
"The country club-"
Dad froze. His eyes immediately averted from me, and he swallowed, hard. "Oh. You think … " He cleared his throat. "Okay, kiddo. That wasn't Marcus Washington with your mom."
God, that was a relief. "Then who?"
"That … was me."
And the need for therapy returned. Great. Mom wasn't having an affair. She was just fucking the brains out of her estranged husband.
Ew.
"Oh, thank God." I covered my eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you from … that angle."
"I'm all right with that."
"What are you doing back with Mom?"
Dad looked even more ashamed, but he sheepishly shrugged. "It just happened. I'm sure you can relate. We got caught up in the moment."
I nodded. "I can't get out of my moments with Nate."
"You sure it's just a moment now?"
"I don't want it to be."
"Then you better tell that boy and tell him quick. It's easy to fall in love, but it's hard to make a relationship work."
"Do you think he'd even … "
"Want you?" Dad pulled me into a hug. "That boy has loved you since you were kids."
"He … has?"
"A father always knows. You tell him you want him, and he'll be tripping over himself to buy the cutest damn onesie he can find for that baby."