Mandy snapped at her, getting crankier by the minute. "Oh, I'm sorry. Next time I infect myself with poison, I'll burn the rash off so I don't scratch in the middle of Hotline Bling!"
"If I see one scar on your shoulders in the strapless dress, so help me God." Lindsey pushed her sister towards the bathroom. She grabbed a towel on the way up. "Don't think I won't roll your ass in mud or oatmeal. Maybe both, just because you're always such a pain."
Mandy stormed up the stairs. "Butt-head."
Lindsey fumed. "Lint-licker!"
The bathroom door slammed shut. The bridesmaids surrounded me. It wasn't good to limp around a pack of these lionesses.
Carmen winked. "There's something in this kit for everyone, huh, Nate?"
She waved a condom at me. Fucking fantastic.
The thought struck me like another slap with the poison ivy.
A condom.
I hadn't used a condom last night? I'd completely forgot. Then again, Mandy didn't say anything. She was probably on the pill.
Shit. I'd have to ask her.
Except Mandy was so goddamned responsible, she'd even packed a second first-aid kit in her own toiletries. No way she'd forget something as important as birth control.
The girls clustered around me. They abandoned the Bloody Marys for margaritas and drunkenly giggled. A game of rock-paper-scissors passed between the five of them. Carmen came out victorious.
The condom returned to her possession.
"Looks like I'm the lucky one." She tucked it into the back pocket of my jeans. Her hand stayed a little too long. "How about we make the most of this weekend?"
Oh Christ. "You should sober up. We made a lot of mistakes when we were drunk before."
She slurped the rest of her drink. The salt from her glass stuck to her chin. "Oh, I don't think it was a mistake."
"Me either," Amy said.
Red head winked. "Me either."
Peaches giggled. "Me three. No, me four!" Her laugh rang over the house as Caitlyn purred at me. "Nate, you've practically slept with the whole bridal party!"
Carmen snorted. "Of course he did. He told Rick and Bryce he'd finish us all off before the reception. Good luck with Mandy though. I heard she hates you."
I wished she hadn't said that so loud.
Mandy hadn't hated me yesterday.
But she did now.
She stood in the doorway, arms crossed. Intimidation wasn't her strong-suit, especially as she squirmed against the itchiness. But she didn't have to threaten me.
Her eyes welled with tears.
And I knew I fucked up.
"You slept with everyone?" Mandy whispered. "Are you that … sleezy?"
"Oh, come on." Carmen laughed. "He's a manwhore. We reap what we sow with him. He had his fun, we had ours." She winked. "You oughta give him a run, Mandy. He might loosen you up."
No. I wouldn't. Mandy gritted her teeth.
"How … " Her breathing quivered. "I think you should go."
"Mandy-"
"Now, Nate."
Son of a bitch. The girls groaned. I ignored them. Mandy ducked out of the living room, but she pushed me away before I could get too close. She led me to the door.
I couldn't leave it like this.
"I guess you've had us all now," she said. "Unless you're aiming to sleep with the bride, it's time for you to go."
"It's not like that," I said. Damn it. "It was a one-time thing with all of them. You know. That's why you wanted me in the first place. Just some fun."
"Yeah. I should have known better. This isn't fun."
"I'm sorry. Let me explain."
"I really can't deal with it right now." She couldn't look at me, and I had no idea what I had lost until I missed the honey-amber of her eyes. "I thought what we had was special."
"It was."
"Please, go."
A couple tears rolled over her cheeks. I made her cry?
How the hell did I make her cry?
"Mandy, if I knew sleeping with those girls would have made you feel like this-"
"You have no idea how I feel about this, about us, about you-" She pushed me to the door. The rest of her words dissolved into a choked sob.
I hated to see her upset, but, at that moment, she just hated to see me.
The front door slammed in my face. I didn't care.
Her words echoed in my mind. I had no idea how she felt about us … about me?
Holy shit.
I nearly tumbled off the porch.
Did Mandy have feelings for me?
11
Mandy
"Honestly, the dress doesn't even look like it was made for you!"
For the first time since the wedding planning began, I shared Lindsey's dismay.
Nothing about the hideously teal bridesmaid gown fit me. The bustles had no lift, the bows no liveliness, and the strapless cups …
Well, I made short work of them.
The last thing I needed was anyone staring too intently at my body, but it was way too early for any real changes right?
I looked down. My breasts were trying to suffocate me, but everything else seemed halfway normal. I thought. Maybe?
I hadn't looked in the mirror yet, waiting for the moment Lindsey or Mom or one of the bridesmaids called out some sort of un-hideable baby bump. If it happened, I couldn't even blame a big lunch. It'd been hell to just sip soup. Nothing stayed down except copious amounts of oranges, and that was risky because citric acid did not make for a pleasant return experience.
I pinched my eyes shut. The hot lights of the bridal boutique shined like an interrogation.
This was it. The jig was up. My bun was in the oven, and they turned on the heat.
"When did you lose weight?" Lindsey plucked at the bunched material over my waist. "No … when did it all go to your tits?"
Mom frowned, rubbing her chin. "It must be the lighting. Mandy isn't that small."
Thanks, Mom.
But the measurements confirmed it. I was different from the first fitting. I lost weight.
Well, that was a relief. Or was it? The doctor did warn that it wasn't uncommon for women to lose weight in early pregnancy because of the morning sickness, especially if they happened to be a little curvier. And I couldn't really eat much but fruit and crackers.
Okay. Another freebie. I breathed a quick sigh.
"Who measured her the first time?" Lindsey whirled around to berate the terrified seamstress and owner of the boutique. "We're lucky the hem isn't dragging on the floor too!"
"Well, we were all supposed to go on a diet," I said.
"Yeah, which some people have forgotten to do!" Lindsey pointed at her other teal and miserable bridesmaids. "I made the spreadsheet, why aren't you guys logging your weight? We're supposed to be doing this together."
I heard the edge of real panic in my sister's voice. That stress peaked when the zipper to her dress needed a bit of encouragement to climb past her booty. We got it zipped, but Lindsey immediately peeled it off and threw away half of the candy bar she was nervously eating.
My sister pushed me to the dressing room. She waited outside, lowering her voice so those beyond the fitting areas couldn't hear.
"Mandy, I know you've been trying hard," she said.
I braced for it. What was it this time? Maybe she thought I was deliberately causing her problems. Maybe I wasn't pulling my weight, or I hadn't asked Dad to fork over another two grand for gold dust in the champagne.
"I wanted you to know … " Lindsey exhaled. "I really appreciate it."
Wow!
I didn't know what to say. "Oh. Well. I'm only trying to help."
"Look, Mom gives you shit because you're curvy, but you don't have to go to any extremes. You're beautiful just as you are."
I waited for the hammer to drop and crack through the insults. Lindsey said nothing else.
My eyes welled with tears-overwhelmed and suffering from the damn hormones that had me weepy because of songs on the radio, advertisements with puppies, and, of course, a week of avoiding Nate.
"Thanks," I said.
"And I know I've been a little … crazy." She cleared her throat. "But I'm still your big sister. Do you want to tell me why you've been so quiet lately?"
"Qu-quiet?"
"You haven't been yourself since last weekend at the cabin. If it's the dance routine, honestly, you're only bad because … well, there's a couple reasons. Mainly, you have no rhythm, but we can fake that with alcohol at the wedding. But you also care too much about what people think." She hesitated. "What happened with you and Nate?"
Oh, no no no. I wasn't answering that.
"Nothing happened with me and Nate."
"Then why did he have poison ivy too?"
I only wished the rash had spread over the troublemaker between his legs.
I was super fortunate mine had stopped above my tailbone. I couldn't imagine the talk with my OBGYN. I was already confused enough about the pregnancy, but I was pretty sure I couldn't split a tube of calamine lotion with the baby if I had gotten poison ivy in my womb.
"I get it, Mandy," she said.