Nate once thrilled me with a night of simple pleasures and dark fantasies.
And tonight, we'd do it again.
9
Mandy
A mistake was something that happened once.
What was it called when it happened twice? Idiocy? Insanity?
Luck?
It didn't matter. The last time I was overwhelmed by the wedding and my family, I turned to the wrong man to make it right. And he had-at least, in that moment. Now I wanted more of the same, knowing the consequences.
I invited him to the cabin and tossed the bridesmaids and my sister into the guest bedrooms.
I told him to wait while I quickly showered the night off and grabbed a warm, fuzzy blanket.
And we planned to repeat that wonderful mistake.
It wasn't logical. It wasn't safe.
It wasn't fair to him.
But I couldn't share the secret about the baby yet, not even with him. My family already danced around total annihilation. The drama would ruin the wedding, drive a wedge deeper between my parents, and destroy any relationship I had with my sister.
That sort of news wouldn't be seen as blessed or joyous. It'd be scandal and shame, and no baby deserved that.
Once the wedding was over, I'd tell them.
And him.
I shut the cabin door behind me. I expected the night to be completely silent this far away from the city, but the chirping frogs and buzzing locusts muffled the click of the door's latch. The cabin overlooked a field of wildflowers in the front. In the back, it stood watch over a lake, mirror-flat and still, reflecting a sky littered with thousands of stars.
Nate leaned against the porch railing. Was it possible for him to look better now, waiting in the dark stillness? The shadows struck the hard angles of his jaw, and his eyes absorbed the mystery of the night. Green gave way to midnight tones of blue and silver. I stared, imagining everything we had done and had yet to do.
"Everyone asleep?" His voice rumbled, low and cautious.
"They will be," I said.
"You okay?"
"I will be."
Nate crossed his arms. The tattoos creeping along his biceps and under the t-shirt edged black in the low light, too dark to hide anything but their intent. He wasn't a man who saved damsels in distress, but he was the type to accept their gratitude however they wished to award it.
I cradled the blanket to my chest. Nate didn't ask any more foolish questions. He offered his hand.
I took a breath.
My palm fit within his, and the heat coursed over me, through me, inside me.
He guided me along the dirt path leading from the cabin to the lakeside dock. I hadn't been to the lake since I was little. Back then, the water seemed huge and impossible. Now the stillness was safe and serene. The lake lapped the dock, and the sky above stretched in brilliant shades of blue and the darkest purple. I almost giggled. The sky looked indigo.
We didn't need to speak. I wasn't sure what we would say. Nate had pushed, and I'd denied him so many times. But we ended here together, staring into each other's eyes like it was the first and last time we would touch each other.
Nate laid the blanket over the wooden planks of the dock. My breathing shuddered, and I had no idea how to stand or protect myself or what to do.
But he showed me, just like he did before. I was so inexperienced then, and I was still inexperienced now. Despite the twisting in my stomach as the baby swatted at all the butterflies, I'd never felt safer.
Nate reached for me, his hand caressing my cheek. He pulled me in for a kiss and let his fingers tangle in my hair.
"It's shorter," he whispered. "You cut your hair."
"You weren't the only one who noticed."
"It's beautiful. You're beautiful."
His lips met mine. Why did I ever fight his kiss? He nibbled the words I couldn't speak, soothed the fears I breathed, and hummed absolute comfort in every draw of his lips.
"Simple pleasure?" My whisper broke the silence, too softly for anyone but him to hear.
"If that's all you want … " His voice caressed me like another hand. "That's what I'll give."
" … What else could you give?"
"Anything you wanted."
He seized me again. His touch became ferocious, conquering, but still so very gentle.
Since when was Nate Kensington gentle?
That wasn't his reputation or his real desire. But he did it for me.
Because of me?
He tucked me against his body. The delicate press of his fingertips into my hips wasn't the fierce grip my instincts expected. He touched slow, steady. I abandoned my hesitations and fell into heaven. My arms fit over his neck, and I drew myself to my tippy-toes to kiss him deeper.
It shouldn't have felt so good. I had no idea if the connection between us was real or a trick of my heart. Nate was the only man who could soothe everything jumbled inside me-because he was the one who tangled it.
At first I dove against him and eagerly swept my lips, mouth, tongue on his, like the last time we tossed in a bed and the passion overwhelmed us in hours of frantic excitement. But this touch deftly tickled over me. Soft. Leisurely.
Nate was patient, and I knew why.
"I'm not a virgin anymore," I whispered.
I broke the kiss. He chastised me with a tightened grip on my hair. A thrill of excitement trapped me in his arms, and he tipped my head back. He nipped my neck and claimed that soft hollow he knew I loved so much.
"You deserve to be spoiled with pleasure. To learn from someone who takes the time to show you how great sex can really be," he said.
"I already had a thorough lesson."
"No." His voice could command and comfort in the same breath. "That night was selfish and quick. I thought you wanted to blow off steam."
"I did."
"That's not how we're doing it this time."
"It's … not?"
His smile might have stopped my heart. "No. I'm going to show you everything tonight. How you should feel. What you can take. This night is all about your pleasure."
My voice weakened in amazement. "Mine?"
"I've been chasing you for a reason, baby. Once wasn't enough to sate either of us."
His fingers teased over my blouse, and his adept hands worked the buttons without struggle.
"I was satisfied," I said.
"I can do better. I will do better." He promised me with a kiss. "That first time, I thought I wanted a night with you so I could get off and silence my own desire. I was wrong. I realized my only desire is to give you pleasure."
"Why?"
"How else would I express my gratitude?"
"Gratitude for what?"
"Letting me near you? Letting me touch you?" His words stilled as my blouse fell away. "Giving me the best night of my life?"
Nate's kiss teased a mew from me. A wave of goose bumps washed over my body as he studied everything I offered.
"Don't be embarrassed," he said. "You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
"I think you're just saying that because I'm standing here in a bra and jeans."
"Let's test it."
His fingers danced over my back. He unhooked my bra and tugged it off. The cool air wrapped over my breasts, and I bit my lip.
They were bigger than they had been. Fuller.
Nate stared, enraptured. I held my breath as his knuckle brushed my nipple. It immediately tightened, hardened and budded for his inspection.
I wanted more than just fingers. How quickly could I get him to lick and taste and suck?
"You're beautiful with or without clothes." His hardness pressed against my leg. "Though I prefer without."
So did I.
Nate took off his shirt, but he only unbuckled his belt before dropping to his knees. His shoulders rippled with muscle. In the low light, the tattoos blended into his flesh, almost natural. I couldn't imagine him without the barbs and coils of ink.
I loved the sound of his growl. He strained against his own need. I had no idea he possessed such willpower. He grunted, but he didn't dive over me. I wondered what I'd have to do to get tossed onto the blanket, to let him have his way with my desperate and wanting slit.
I swallowed, tensing to stone as he studied my every curve. His touch shivered dizzying circles over my arms and waist. I loved and feared the inspection. He unhooked the button to my jeans.
Could he tell?
Was the baby still hidden?
Did he remember how I had looked before? I recognized the change, but it was slight yet. My nipples had grown a little larger, and my breasts softened and plumped. My tummy was yet flat, but the secret made me feel heavy and weighted, as if anyone who saw me would know.
Nate said nothing. His lips tenderly kissed my skin as he tugged at my zipper.
He centered a kiss directly over my womb. I gasped.
His eyes glinted, mischievous. "Feel good?"
I didn't know what to say.
Yes.
It felt amazing.
For one brief, insane second, I imagined he had kissed there because he knew. That he'd kissed because he was happy, and that this secret was ours to keep. In that world, this wasn't a second mistake but the beginning of a lifetime of amazing opportunities and happiness.