There was a look of resignation in his eyes, as if he’d always known the world would deal him a hand like this. There was also a steely strength in that look. I wanted desperately to believe that strength was enough to get him through this alive.
“I always wanted a girl like you, Faith. I didn’t even know it until that day we met in Reno. Ever since then, life hasn’t been the same for me. Now that I have you, I realize you’re what I’ve been searching for all these years.”
“Well, you’ve got me now, Jackson.”
“I do, but it’s a cruel victory. I have to leave you behind so soon.”
My eyes widened. I couldn’t bear it. He had to change his plan. He couldn’t leave me. I wouldn’t allow it.
“You don’t have to leave.”
“Yes. I do. Wolf Staten. Los Lobos. They’ll only get stronger. They’ll hunt us down like animals. The sooner I bring the fight to them, the better.”
“No,” I stammered. “Don’t do it.”
He shook his head. “I have to keep up my end of the bargain. I have to make you safe. That’s not going to happen unless I make it happen.”
“I’m begging you not to go back.”
“Wolf’s the leader of Los Lobos. I stole his woman. That doesn’t come without consequences.”
I was crying. I shook my head. Los Lobos had over a hundred members. They had chapters all around Reno.
“If you leave, I’ll never see you again.”
“Then, whatever else happens, we better make tonight count.”
I was desperate. I felt as if the world was ending.
“Jackson, you’ve already kept up your end of the bargain. You rescued me. You brought me here.”
Tears poured from my eyes. I felt as if I would die without him. I couldn’t let him leave. He had to stay.
“We made a promise to each other,” he said. “And I aim to keep my word.”
“We both kept our word already,” I said.
He shook his head.
“No we didn’t. Not yet. But we will.”
“You got me away from that motel. I gave myself to you.”
“That’s not the promise we made, Faith, and you know it.”
I looked into his eyes and I knew he was right. The promise we’d made went deeper than that. Much deeper.
“You’ll keep your promise to me, even if you wish you’d never made it.”
“I’m glad I made it, Jackson.”
The waitress came with our food. I wiped the tears from my eyes. Jackson ordered apple pie for both of us for dessert. He said we’d need our strength for what was coming.
“I’m sorry, Jackson,” I said, when the waitress left.
He reached across the table and took my hands in his.
“I really wanted you, Faith Shepherd. I didn’t know it until right this moment.”
“Jackson, it doesn’t have to be the way you think.”
“I’ve got to face Wolf,” he said.
“Why? He’ll kill you. You can’t beat a man like that. We can run. We can go north. Hide out in Washington, or Canada. Alaska even. Or we can go south to Mexico. I don’t care where we go as long as we’re together.”
I was pleading with him still.
“I don’t run,” he said. “Don’t ask me again.”
“Don’t you have anyone we can turn to for help?”
He thought for a moment. “I have my brotherhood,” he said, “but I can’t drag them into this. This is our fight.”
“Jackson, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it would be this way.”
He looked into my eyes for a long time. When he spoke, I felt as if he was speaking to me from a great distance.
“I know,” he said.
I couldn’t eat. I felt ill. If Jackson rode out to face Los Lobos alone, they’d kill him.
“Tell me,” he said as he ate, “what’s Wolf Staten like?”
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to cry. I looked into Jackson’s face and all I could feel was guilt. I’d signed his death sentence.
“You know him.”
“I’ve done business with him. But what’s he like as a man?”
“He’s very intense,” I said. “Like you.”
“Was he good to you?”
“I thought he was at the beginning. That was two years ago. Then the beatings started. The cheating. He put me in compromising situations with his cronies. The final straw was when he decided to lock me away in a secret apartment in his compound.”
Jackson nodded. “I’m glad you got out,” he said. “You’re too good for a life like that, Faith. You’re too good for all of this.”