"Dad wanted me to bring it up first," Kenny said.
They crossed the street and Evan said, "I'm sure he did. That's how your dad operates."
"Don't get mad at Dad," Kenny said. "It really was my idea. At first, he wasn't even sure about it. I kept bugging him."
"I just wish he'd said something to me this afternoon when I talked to him," Evan said. For the first time since he'd left Havilland, he felt like having a drink. An ice-cold glass of vodka would have hit the spot.
"You could just come back home and have your own room," Kenny said.
Jeffery and Evan had explained their complicated situation to Kenny as honestly as they could without going into any of the sexual details he did not need to know. "I'm not ready to do that," Evan said. "You know your dad and I love each other. But we can't live together right now, and I'm not sure we ever will."
They talked more about this in detail over coffee and Evan still wasn't convinced he was strong enough emotionally to deal with a teenager full time. He knew Jeffery couldn't be depended on for anything but the next business deal he was working on. It wasn't that Jeffery was totally absent. Neither Kenny nor Evan had to worry about money. But Jeffery couldn't be depended on to deal with the ordinary mundane issues of everyday life that required more attention sometimes than a major crisis.
What made Evan's chest cave in was when Kenny said, "I'm going away to school next year and I want to spend as much time with you as I can. Dad's never home. You know how it is. He's always working or traveling. I spend most of the time with Ellie."
Ellie was their live-in housekeeper at the townhouse, a short, stout proper British nanny who baked kidney pie and brewed loose tea with a contraption that looked like it came out of one of Evan's historical novels. Evan had hired her when they'd first adopted Kenny and she'd been there ever since. Evan knew Kenny had a point. With Ellie around all the time Jeffery never had to worry about being home for Kenny, not that Jeffery ever actually worried about anything.
"And that werewolf is really creeping me out," Kenny said.
Evan covered his mouth and smiled. He even had Kenny calling Jeffery's assistant the werewolf now. "What does your father's assistant have to do with any of this?" Evan asked. He was still smiling, but he didn't want to refer to Jeffery's assistant in front of Kenny as the werewolf.
"He's always around, ready to please Dad," Kenny said. "I think he's trying to get into Dad's pants. If you ask me … "
"Kenny," Evan said. "I don't want to hear that kind of talk. You know your father never mixes business and pleasure." This was true about Jeffery. He would screw any man on the planet, but he always kept his business relationships uncomplicated.
Kenny rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm not a kid anymore. I know how things are. I know Dad's not a saint and that's one of the reasons you aren't living at home anymore. But seriously, the werewolf is like totally creeped out."
Evan had to fight to hide his smile this time. He thought the werewolf was, as Kenny had stated, totally creeped out, too. But he didn't want to say this in front of Kenny. "What happens between your dad and me is something personal that's just between us and you don't need to worry about it. We both love you, and we're both there for you, and that's all you have to worry about." One thing he and Jeffery had agreed upon was never to talk down about each other in front of Kenny.
"Well, I know that," Kenny said. He rolled his eyes again. "I'm not mad at either one of you, and I'm not like those kids who resent their parents getting divorced."
"We're not divorced," Evan said. He might have reacted too soon. He tended to be sensitive about this because he was still so much in love with his husband.
Kenny stopped walking and pulled Evan over to bench in one of those small parks that were cropping up all over Manhattan thanks to some group that wanted to make the city more appealing. When they were both seated, Kenny reached for Evan's hands, held them, and said, "I just want to spend some time with you right now. Why does it have to be more complicated than that? I'm not mad at Dad. I'm not all screwed up or anything like a lot of the kids I know who come from broken homes."
Evan shrugged. "You're not from a broken home. Your father and I love each other more now than we did the day we met. I've told you the story of how we met and fell in love a million times. It happened when we least expected it."
Kenny squeezed his hands tighter. "I know that story. Please spare me the mushy details. And tell me it's okay for me to move in."
Evan felt himself getting weaker. "And you're sure your dad is okay with this?"
"We've talked about it and he's fine."
"If I did agree, which I'm not sure I will yet, I still have to talk to your dad about it first."
Kenny laughed. "You know Dad would do anything for you. All you have to do is ask."
"Is it that obvious?" Evan asked. He'd never been able to depend on Jeffery emotionally. But he did know Jeffery would have done almost anything he asked. He'd always wondered if other people noticed the power they both had over each other.
"It's that obvious." Kenny frowned and shrugged his shoulders. "I know how Dad can be sometimes. I'm not stupid. But I also know he'd never say no to you."
Evan stood up and they started toward the avenue where he would hail a cab. When they reached the corner, he asked, "If I agree to you moving in with me, when is this going to take place?"
"I can move in tonight," Kenny said.
Evan had been thinking more along the lines of a month or two, just to give himself time to get used to being back in the real world again. "You're pushing me now."
"I know," Kenny said.
Evan saw an empty cab approach and he lifted his arm. When the driver stopped, he opened the door and said, "I'll talk to your dad tomorrow and we'll set a date." He knew this went against all his better judgment, but he couldn't say no to his son. And as frightened as he was about having Kenny live with him full time, he knew deep down he wanted to spend this time with his son while he was still young enough to enjoy him. Kenny would be a grown man in a few years and Evan would never get this time back again.
When he said this, Kenny grabbed him and hugged him so hard he almost took his breath away, which was not something Kenny did often. "This is so cool. I love you, Dad."
Evan climbed into the backseat and said, "I love you, too, kid. I'll call you tomorrow."
As the driver pulled away from the curb, Evan glanced back through the rear windshield and waved at his son. Kenny was standing on the sidewalk, with his long legs spread apart, waving with both arms in the air. But it was the smile on his son's face that caused a sting in his eyes. Evan had missed a few events in his son's life because of his drinking, and he knew he could never get them back again, but he could at least try to do the right thing now while he still had a chance.
Chapter Five
"I don't see any harm in it," Jeffery said. "I'm on my way to the West Coast and I can't talk long. There's a car waiting for me downstairs."
"This is a big thing," Evan said. "Our son wants to move in with me full time and I'm not sure it's the best thing for him." As Evan had promised his son, he'd phoned Jeffery to see how he felt about Kenny moving in with Evan full time.
"You're his father, too," Jeffery said. "And it's not like he's moving to a different country. He's going to the same school. He'll still be able to go back and forth between the townhouse and your apartment. I don't see an issue. I think it would be good for you both."
"And you can come and go as you please," Evan said. He'd promised himself he wouldn't get nasty with Jeffery. But Evan tended to read between the lines for ulterior motives whenever Jeffery proposed something to him.
"I already come and go as I please," Jeffery said.
"That's true." Evan sighed. He wanted things to be different; he wanted Jeffery to change so they could live together as a family again.
"Now you sound angry," Jeffery said.
"I'm not angry," Evan said. "I'm worried. I recently got out of rehab and I'm still getting myself together. This was the last thing I expected to be dealing with. I haven't even started working yet."
Jeffery hesitated for a moment. Evan heard his assistant, the werewolf, come into the office and ask him a question. Evan couldn't hear exactly what the werewolf said, but it made him clench his fists to think Jeffery would ignore him when they were talking about something so important.
"Are you still there?" Evan asked, speaking louder.
"I'm here," Jeffery said. "But I have to go. Look, I think this is a good thing for both of you. Kenny's talked to me about it and I support it completely. He needs time with you and if you don't let him live with you he might hold it against you for the rest of his life."
Evan had considered this already. If he refused to take Kenny full time, Kenny might resent him forever, which could define their future relationship. And he didn't want that to happen. Besides, he knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with Jeffery today. This new business deal he'd been working on seemed to be consuming him. "I'll call him and tell him he can move in next Friday night. I want to fix the apartment up a little before then."