The other fipple flute people remained frozen, as if terrified to make a move in one direction or the other.
"It's not what you think, man," Elroy said. "I can explain."
Kyle turned and he sent Elroy a look of pure disdain. "There's no need to explain anything. I'm sorry we interrupted you."
Jeremy seemed even more stunned than Kyle. He sat there in the bed, with the covers pulled up to his chin with one hand and the other pressed to his stomach.
Kyle bent down and picked up the recorder the chubby guy had dropped. He handed it to him and said, "I'll see you next Thursday for rehearsal." Without a backward glance, he left the room and headed down the hallway.
Though Elroy ran after him, through the hall and down the stairs wearing nothing but short bath towel around his waist, he couldn't get Kyle to stop and listen. He called his namd and begged, bu; Kyle refused to acknowledge him. When they reached the bottom of the stairwell and Kyle walked out of the building into the cold, Elroy stopped and stood there with both hands pressed to the glass door. He watched Kyle walk into the dark night until he couldn't see him anymore, and then he turned around, went back to the room, and told Jeremy to leave him alone once and for all.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kyle didn't return to the room until late Saturday night. Elroy had been there all that time waiting for him. He'd tried phoning but Kyle refused to answer his calls. He tried texting and received no replies. He even tried to contact him on social media, hoping he would get through to him somehow and explain everything and nothing happened.
When Kyle finally returned, he walked inside and lifted his hand. "I don't want to talk. I just want to sleep."
Elroy had been thinking about all this for almost twenty-four hours. "I have to explain. You need to know what happened." He knew he had to tell him the truth from now on.
Kyle glared at him. "I don't see how you're going to explain this. I took you home to meet my family and you wound up sleeping with my stepbrother. That's the kind of thing that speaks for itself, Elroy. You know, I knew you were no damn good all along, I just didn't think you were this bad. What's next? Are you going to sleep with my stepdad, too? I have a cousin in Connecticut. I'll give you his number."
Elroy had had enough. He punched the wall and said, "If you'd let me fucking explain you'd see it's not like that."
Kyle turned toward the door. "I can see you're not going to leave me alone. I'm getting out of here."
"No, you're not leaving until I tell you everything," Elroy said. Then he crossed to where Kyle was standing, grabbed him by the collar, and threw him down on the bed.
"Don't you push me around," Kyle said.
"I'm not pushing you around. I'm trying to get you to listen."
"I'm just as strong as you are and I'm not afraid of you," Kyle said, clenching his fists.
Elroy ran his fingers through his hair and said, "What are you talking about? I'm not going to fight with you. I don't want you to be afraid of me. I only want you to listen. I didn't know Jeremy was your stepbrother when I first met him."
This made Kyle unclench his fists and look up at Elroy. "What kind of bullshit is that?"
"I didn't meet Jeremy for the first time in Vermont at Christmas," Elroy said. "I met him the night you went to the Halloween party. I met him in Provincetown and he told me his name was Ricky. I had no idea he was your stepbrother. I never would have done anything with him if I had known."
Kyle seemed confused. "Jeremy is the married guy you've been seeing all along?"
Elroy walked over to where he was sitting on the bed and he got down on his knees in front of him. "Yes. I didn't even know his real name until we went to Vermont."
Kyle glanced at the ceiling and rolled his eyes. "Well, that explains part of the story. But what about last night? And how many times have you been with Jeremy since you found out he was my stepbrother." Elroy started to beg. He grabbed Kyle's hands and told him how Jeremy wouldn't leave him alone. He didn't go into detail, and he said he'd only been with Jeremy a few times since he'd found out; he didn't lie this time. While he begged, he felt a sting in his eyes for the first time since he'd watched his mom and dad being buried. He told Kyle he knew he'd made a mistake and pleaded with Kyle to forgive him. When he finished and there was nothing more to say, he rested his head on Kyle's lap and cried so hard his entire body trembled.
By that time Kyle had tears streaming down his face, too. He remained still, with his arms folded across his chest and his eyes focused on the window, while Elroy cried on his lap.
Elroy hadn't cried that hard in years, and he wouldn't cry that hard for years to come. Each tear that fell came from his heart; he'd never felt that vulnerable or alone in his life. He knew Kyle had no reason to forgive him for what he'd done with Jeremy. He wasn't sure he would have forgiven himself if he'd been Kyle. Each time he sobbed the words, "I'm so sorry," his chest caved in with the kind of emotion he'd never experienced before that night. This was real. He knew he'd lost Kyle and wouldn't be able to get him back again. And for that, above everything else, he was truly sorry.
then he felt Kyle's palm caress the top of his head. He heard Kyle sobbing and a tear drop landed on his cheek. With a wrecked voice that was barely audible, Kyle said, "I only wanted you to love me."
Elroy's head went up. He wiped his eyes. "But I do love you. I love you so much it hurts. I love you so much I can't sleep at night. Look at me. I'm on my knees begging now. I haven't cried since my mom and dad were killed in the accident. Just tell me what I have to do and I'll do it. Please don't give up on us. We're too good to end it now. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you, I want to have a family with you, and I want to grow old with you."
Kyle started to cry even harder, but he continued to caress the top of Elroy's head. "I love you just as much. But how can I believe that? How can I trust you again?"
"Let me make love to you," Elroy said. "Let me hold you like I've wanted to hold you since the day I saw you carrying that ugly footlocker. I promise I'll never do anything to hurt you again. Please, let me show you how much I love you once and for all."
"What about Jeremy?"
"That was nothing," Elroy said. "That's why I never took it very seriously; you already know that because I told you that when I first started seeing him and thought his name was Ricky. And I made it clear to Jeremy last night that nothing would ever happen between us again. Please tell me you believe me, and let me make love to you."
For the first time since they'd met, Kyle seemed to put down all the invisible walls he'd built. He wiped his eyes and noddes. His body relaxed and he wrapped his arms around Elroy's shoulders. As Elroy slowly stood up so he could join Kyle in bed, Kyle buried his face in Elroy's neck and kissed him gently. That one gentle kiss, mingled with Kyle's tears, sent more energy through Elroy's body than anything any man had ever done to him.
When Elroy was in bed on top of Kyle, he said, "I want to know you believe me." He needed to know this for the sake of them as a couple.
Kyle caressed the back of his head and kissed him. "I know nothing is perfect. And yes, this time I do believe you. This time, for the first time, I think you're the man I always knew you could be. I love everything about you, even the bad things. But I love the strong, decent man I see deep down most of all. The man you keep hidden from everyone."
Elroy smiled and kissed his cheek. Even his tears tasted good. "I think you're the only one who sees me that way."
Then Kyle kissed him. With this kiss-- … the first kiss they would share as lovers … the world turned into a nicer place. The need for Elroy to take control and satisfy himself turned into the desire to show the love of his life how much he loved him. And he did love Kyle enough to spend the rest of his life with him. He loved him enough to marry him and grow old with him. But most of all, he loved Kyle enough to become the man Kyle wanted him to be.
THE END