"I'm talking about us," Jeremy said. "You know I can't get enough of you." He had a helpless expression; he seemed to be pleading. He looked rumpled and scruffy in his boxer shorts and white T-shirt.
Elroy closed his eyes. "What about us?" He wanted to tell him he'd been planning to end their affair before New Year's but decided not to get into that now. It wasn't the time or the place.
"I thought we had something special," Jeremy said. He moved closer and reached for Elroy's leg. "Can I come into bed for a minute? I'd like to hold you for just a minute."
"The only thing we have is sex," Elroy said. "That's not something special. We both know that."
"Can I get into bed with you for a minute?" His full erection was now sticking out of his boxer shorts. He made no attempt to cover it.
Elroy did not reply as fast as he should have. While he hesitated, staring at Jeremy's erection, Jeremy's hand slid under the covers and rested on the inside of his thigh. The next thing Elroy knew he was on his back with his sweatpants off and his legs wrapped around Jeremy's waist. By that time it was too late to answer. Jeremy had already put on the condom and pinned him to the bed.
* * * * They did it again the next day in the back of Jeremy's pick-up truck. While the rest of Kyle and his family watched the kids open Christmas gifts from Santa, Jeremy and Elroy went into town. Jeremy made up an excuse about going into town. He said he thought he'd left the lights on at the house where they'd been renovating the kitchen and he wanted to go back and check to see if he had. Oscar told him not to worry about it. But Jeremy refused to relax until he knew for sure, and he asked Elroy if he wanted to take a ride with him.
If Kyle thought there was anything unusual about this he didn't show it openly. He seemed more relaxed than Elroy had ever seen him since before Lev Godwin's death. Aside from Babe's snide gay comments, the rest of Kyle's family seemed to be accepting the fact that he was gay.
Babe didn't care about them going into town. She was too busy with the kids. Oscar wanted to take a nap and Patty had been in the kitchen since dawn roasting a turkey. So Jeremy and Elroy left the house and drove down another back road that looked even more isolated than where Kyle's family lived. Jeremy parked in a small turnaround between clusters of tall pine trees. Jeremy didn't even remove his clothes this time. While Elroy took off all his clothes, Jeremy just pulled down his zipper and put on a condom. When it was over, Elroy told himself this would be the last time they'd do this.
Before they left Vermont for Boston, Elroy and Jeremy did it again in a shed at the back end of the property. Neither of them took off their clothes this time because it was too cold. Jeremy grabbed Elroy by the neck and forced him over the tire of an old tractor. Then he pulled Elroy's pants down to his knees, pulled out another condom, and fucked him so hard there were black marks from the old tire all over the front of Elroy's jacket. Prior to this, Elroy had told everyone he was going out for a walk in the woods. Jeremy had told everyone he was going to the garage to work on the generator. When Elroy returned, he said he'd tripped and fallen on a tire and they all believed him.
The day they left Vermont, Elroy had a short talk with Jeremy. Enough was enough and he had to put an end to this. He cornered Jeremy in the family room while the rest of them were helping Kyle pack the car. "This is over," Elroy said. "It was fun while it lasted. But I'm done. If Kyle ever found out he'd never speak to either of us again."
"Why do you care so much about Kyle?" Jeremy asked. "He doesn't seem to give you the time of day."
Elroy shrugged. "I care about him, that's all." He didn't owe this man any explanation.
"You don't care about anyone but yourself and you know it," Jeremy said. "And we both know it takes a man like me to keep a man like you happy, not a pussy like Kyle. I know your needs."
Elroy thought about that for a moment. The part about Elroy not caring about anyone but himself was true, so he made no attempt to deny it. He simply smiled and said, "You're wrong about one thing. If there's one thing I care more about than myself, it's Kyle. And, just so it's clear, he's the only one I've ever felt that way about and I'm not going to hurt him."
"What if he finds out about us?"
"I didn't plan this with us," Elroy said. "I didn't know you were his stepbrother when we first met. If I had, nothing would have happened."
"You sound so sure of yourself," Jeremy said. He moved closer and tried to put his arms around Elroy. "I think something would have happened even if you knew I was Kyle's stepbrother."
To show him he meant business, Elroy grabbed his collar and yanked him forward. "That doesn't matter now. All that matters is that Kyle never find out about us. Do we understand each other?"
Jeremy seemed more than amused. He laughed and said, "We understand each other."
Elroy took a step back and said, "Kyle is the one thing I am sure of, Jeremy. Trust me. Nothing would have happened if I'd known you were his stepbrother. And that's not going to change. So be a good boy and make sure this never gets out. We both knew it would end anyway."
"You don't have to worry about me," Jeremy said. "I'm not a fag like you and Kyle. I don't want anyone knowing about it either."
Elroy laughed at that response. "Good."
Jeremy made one more attempt to hold him, but Elroy grabbed his wrists and said, "It's not going to happen, not now or ever again."
Chapter Twenty-One
On the way back to Boston, Kyle returned to his normal pattern of talking too much. But this time Elroy didn't mind, because Kyle seemed more focused on asking questions and he tended to answer himself without even consulting Elroy. Maybe all that silence had been building up through Christmas and he needed to get it all out in the car.
Kyle would sigh aloud and exhale, then would say, "How do you think my family handled having us both there this Christmas? Do you think it felt creepy?"
Before Elroy could reply, Kyle would answer aloud. "I think it was awkward for everyone. It's clear they aren't comfortable with gay people. At least it wasn't a complete train wreck, though. Babe is just an idiot, the kids don't really understand, and my mom seems to be struggling with me being gay to the point of not discussing it ever. I don't think she said more than ten words to you the entire time we were there. I didn't speak much to her. But I think Oscar seems to be accepting it better than anyone. He surprised me. And Jeremy seemed to be on his best behavior. He was so quiet I almost didn't recognize him."
When Elroy would open his mouth to speak, Kyle would continue on as if he were alone in the car. This didn't bother Elroy. He nodded in agreement, he smiled a lot, and he sometimes he even tuned Kyle out. On one long empty thirty-mile stretch between Vermont and Boston, Elroy went into some kind of altered state and didn't remember anything Kyle said at all. When he realized he had driven more than an hour and was almost back in Boston, he didn't know how he'd arrived at that point. It felt as if he'd been driving in a hypnotic trance, listening to the soothing hum of Kyle's familiar voice.
During the Christmas break, they took another road trip to Palm Beach. This time Elroy didn't get naked in the car so truckers could watch him jack off. He'd learned his lesson the first time they'd driven to Florida. But there was that one incident where Kyle caught him having an under-stall jack session in a rest stop in South Carolina. Kyle found Elroy and the guy in the next stall on their knees, pants down to their ankles, playing with each other's dicks under the wall that divided the stalls. Kyle had opened the door by accident and he'd found Elroy this way. Instead of scolding him the way he usually did, this time he glanced down at him, frowned, and shook his head in shame. And he didn't speak to him at all until they crossed over the Florida state line.
Elroy suggested they stop and spend the night in St. Augustine. "We can sightsee and do a few touristy things," he said. All that silence in the car was starting to freak him out. "I'll buy you something expensive."
Kyle flung his head sideways and said, "Or you can check out all the bathrooms in town. I'm sure there are plenty. And you know you can't buy me. I'm not for sale, thank you. Save that line for the trash you meet under bathroom stalls."
"That's not fair," Elroy said. It was one thing to punish him for something he'd actually done, but he wasn't going to let Kyle punish him for something he hadn't done yet. He'd only pulled his pants down in one bathroom. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm human and I have needs. Maybe if you'd let me fuck your brains out once in a while I wouldn't have to lurk around in restrooms, seriously, man."
"Ah well," Kyle said. He adjusted his position and moved closer to the door. "Isn't that a romantic thing to say? 'Let me fuck your brains out.' You know just how to get to a guy's heart."
At that point, Elroy hit the brakes and pulled to the side of the highway. He stopped the car and grabbed Kyle's arm. He shouted this time. "There's no way to win with you. I don't know what else to do. You know I'd do anything for you. I'd buy you anything, take you anywhere. And all I ever get is rejection. Like I said, I'm human and I have needs, too. Why don't you try blowing me the same way you're always blowing that fucking recorder, or fipple flute, or whatever the hell it is?"