Kyle stopped and turned to face him. "What makes you think I'm mad? I'm not mad at all. I have a date myself tonight with a very nice guy from my math class."
"If you're not mad then why are your eyes all narrow and why are your lips all pinched together?" He knew him well enough to know the sure signs of anger.
Kyle's voice went up higher. In a forced way, he laughed and said, "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm in a great mood."
Elroy was curious. "And who is your date?" He had a feeling Kyle was lying. They'd been roommates since early September and he hadn't seen Kyle date anyone.
"Lev Godwin," Kyle said. He lifted his chin, as if to prove his happiness.
Elroy pressed his palm to his stomach and laughed. "Lev Godwin? Seriously? He's like the biggest dork on campus. He sticks pencils in his ear and sniffs the ear wax on the erasers. He's a fucking creep."
Kyle's face turned red. "He's a very nice guy. He asked me to the movies and I accepted. And for your information, he's not just interested in sex. He's interested in getting to know me better as a person. He's interested in listening to how I feel and how I think."
Elroy rolled his eyes. "He just wants to get into your pants. And the guys who tell you they want to know how you feel and think are the worst kind."
"He's a simple guy and he told me he respects me."
"Good luck with that."
"Lev Godwin cares about the real things in life," Kyle said. "Why can't you get it that there are nice people out there who aren't looking to scam everyone else?"
"He'll be sniffing your shoes," Elroy said. "I'll bet my chocolate ice cream billions he's into feet." Lev had thin lips and one of those pinched, pointy noses. Elroy thought he could definitely be into feet.
Kyle turned and started walking again. "There's no use trying to have a serious conversation with you. You're never going to understand the important things in life and I'm tired of wasting my time. Have fun tonight with your married fuck buddy from P'town. I'm sure you'll both be very happy together."
"And you have fun with the ear wax sniffer tonight," Elroy said. "I'm sure you'll both be very happy."
Without turning, Kyle said, "I'm sure we will."
Although Elroy still had his fists clenched a little, he smiled and shouted, "You know you still love me. Don't pretend to be mad."
Kyle continued walking. But he sent Elroy a backward glance, smiled, and flipped him the bird.
Chapter Fifteen
On Friday night, Elroy met Ricky at the hotel in Boston and they climbed into bed without even having a conversation first. They remained in bed until one in the morning, and then Ricky put on his pants and kissed Elroy goodbye. He said he had to get back home. He didn't go into detail about it because they both understood Ricky was married and he could not stay out all night. This bothered Elroy less than it should have. He'd gotten what he'd wanted; he'd given Ricky what he'd wanted.
What really made Elroy bite the inside of his cheek was when he returned to his room and he found out Kyle hadn't returned yet. How long could a movie with creepy Lev Godwin last? Elroy took off his clothes, climbed into bed, and stared at the dark ceiling until he drifted to sleep around four o'clock in the morning. When he opened his eyes at six the next morning and saw Kyle tip-toeing into the room in the same clothes he'd worn the night before, he sat up and asked, "Where have you been all night?" He kept his voice light. He didn't want to sound angry.
Kyle shrugged and walked to his bed. "We had car trouble. We wound up waiting for a tow truck."
"I see." He wasn't sure he believed him. But he didn't want him to think he was mad at him.
"What time did you get in last night?" Kyle asked.
"Around eleven o'clock," Elroy said. He lied. He'd been out until shortly before two in the morning. But he wanted Kyle to think he'd come back earlier.
Kyle started to remove his clothes. "Did you have a good time with the married guy?"
"The time of my life," Elroy said. "Did you have a good time with the ear wax sniffer?"
Kyle had stripped down to his boxer shorts. He climbed into bed and said, "It was nice. Lev is a sweet guy. He's very smart, and political. I never knew that. He even held the car door open for me."
"Isn't that nice?" Elroy said, making a face at the same time. He'd never been political. He thought all politicians were sleaze bags, liars, and cheats. He'd learned a great deal about emotional and psychological manipulation after studying the way the most successful politicians campaigned-especially in recent years, when politicians had begun to make millions of dollars on the Internet from people who could hardly afford to pay back student loans. It all seemed to be about emotion. If you could get to their hearts and make them feel good, you could own them.
Kyle yawned and turned on his side. "I'm exhausted."
"I'll bet you are," Elroy said. He didn't really think Kyle had slept with Lev. But the thought of it being a possibility turned his stomach a little.
Elroy hesitated,then sighed. "Do you ever feel as if something is missing?"
"All the time," Kyle said. "I'm used to it."
"I'm glad we're roommates," Elroy said. "It makes things better somehow." He really did mean this. But while he was talking he was thinking of ways to get even with Lev Godwin for keeping Kyle out all night. He'd get that creepy little ear wax sniffer if it was the last thing he did.
"I'm glad we're roommates, too," Kyle said. "Now go back to sleep and be quiet. I'm tired."
"Do you still love me?" Elroy asked.
Kyle laughed and said, "Yes. I don't know why, but I do still love you, idiot. Go to sleep."
The room went silent and Elroy worried he would have trouble falling asleep again with daylight streaming through the window. He had trouble sleeping under normal conditions. Going back to sleep in the morning had always been a challenge. He glanced at Kyle and saw he'd plopped down on the bed in his underwear without bothering to pull up the covers. Kyle had worn that old pair of gray boxer shorts that Elroy had seen him wear the first day they'd met. Elroy would never have worn ugly underwear like that. On anyone else they would have been offensive. But glancing at the way Kyle was sprawled out on the bed gave him such a good feeling that he turned on his side, went back to sleep, and didn't open his eyes until noon.
* * * * In the weeks that followed, Elroy continued to sneak around with Ricky on the sly. Sometimes Ricky could only get away for an hour or two. So they did it in Elroy's car, in public restrooms, in elevators, and under bridges. If Ricky was really pressed for time, Elroy would meet him someplace safe, pull down his pants, and bend over for what amounted to nothing more than a fifteen-minute-or-less encounter. When Ricky had more time to spend, they met at a hotel, but never the same one twice.
Elroy always paid for everything ahead of time without asking questions. They never progressed beyond calling each other by their first names and neither one of them went into details about their personal lives. When they were together in a hotel room, they removed their clothes and jumped into bed. They fucked so hard and so often Elroy had bruises on the back of his legs for days at a time. After that one night in Provincetown, they never spent a full night together again. When they were finished doing all the things they did to each other, they got dressed and went in different directions.
While Elroy spent his time bending over for Ricky, Kyle started dating Lev Godwin on a regular basis. Elroy and Kyle spent a good deal of time together in their room and Elroy made a point of following Kyle's every move-without letting him know this. He would check Kyle's cell phone while he was showering to see his incoming, outgoing, and missed calls. He read his text messages, he followed his Twitter feed, and he even searched Kyle's desk one night to find out his passwords and usernames for e-mail and social media. He stalked him without a glimmer of guilt. He logged into Kyle's Facebook account and read all his private messages to see if Lev Godwin had sent him anything intimate.
To his surprise, he found nothing other than sugary-sweet comments and private messages about math class or the latest movie they'd seen. In fact, Kyle's private messages would have been nonexistent if dorky Lev Godwin hadn't sent messages about math or movies. The text messages Kyle shared with Lev were more of the same dull content. Elroy even checked Kyle's photos to see if he'd taken pictures of his dick and found nothing.
This was all in direct contrast to the way Elroy treated social media, e-mail, and texting. He'd "sexted" so many men he'd lost track of who they were. Sometimes he sent photos of his dick to virtual strangers he'd met online just to get a reaction from them. He was always sending nude photos and sexually verbal texts to Ricky. Ricky told him that when they weren't together he would stare at the photos, read the messages, and jack off thinking about him. This made Elroy smile; it made him feel in control. While he was doing all this with Ricky in text form, he was still sending nude photos through private messages to guys he'd never even met in person on Facebook. The public photos he posted on Facebook were usually shirtless, or something sexually provocative. He didn't take it seriously and he enjoyed the attention. The older gay men on Facebook were extremely thankful for the slightest hint of nudity. Some offered to send him money for more detailed photos, and one actually said he'd pay fifty bucks for a pair of Elroy's used sweat socks.