The last time he'd hurt like this, he'd distracted himself from the pain by throwing himself into hockey, trying to make the team during training camp. Also women. Lots of women. The bars along Broadway were packed with people Saturday night, including lots of gorgeous girls.
Somehow hooking up with one of them appealed to him about as much as being butt-ended in the junk.
They ended up in the Red Boot, a crowded, smoky, loud honky-tonk place. The band on the stage at the front played a cover of Dwight Yoakam's "Intentional Heartache," and they were actually pretty good. Couples danced on the small dance floor to the catchy rhythm. Tanner sprawled in a chair, watching and listening, and tossing back beers and shots of Tennessee Fireball. In the back of his mind he knew this wasn't a good idea, since they had a game tomorrow, but the booze was a welcome antidote to the fucking forks that kept stabbing his heart and twisting in his gut.
"She asked me if I was circumcised," Hughie was saying. "Just when she was going down on me. What the fuck?"
"Why?" Rico asked. "Why does that matter?"
"I don't know."
"Some girls would rather go down on a circumcised dick." Ronner shrugged. "I heard they think uncut dicks taste different."
"Jesus," Tanner muttered, and tossed back another shot.
"I dunno … I had a girl tell me she liked fucking an uncut dick better. It made her feel more," Rico said.
"Some women think a circumcised dick looks better."
"Why the fuck are we talking about dicks?" Tanner nearly shouted. Then he glanced around the crowded bar. "Jesus, guys."
His life was spinning around uselessly, like shit in a toilet, about to go down the drain, and they were talking about dicks.
He was going to have to leave Chicago, a city he really liked. He was going to have to leave his buddies, the teammates he'd become friends with, the guys who had his back on the ice and off. The fans in Chicago who'd supported him and the Aces team.
But worst of all, he was going to have to leave Katelyn.
He loved the woman she'd become. He loved her loyalty to her father and how she'd taken care of him, even if it had ended things between them. As a team player, he respected that. As a man, he wished he could have been there for her. But she was strong and she'd made it through that ordeal, and now she could handle anything.
There was that rusty fork twisting in his heart again, goddammit.
"Men aren't that fussy about pussy," Rico said.
"Speak for yourself," Hughie said. "I kinda freaked out once when I discovered that a girl I was with was, uh, natural."
"Bushy Park?" Rico asked.
"Oh yeah."
"Snatch thatch," Ronner added.
"Fuck me," Tanner groaned.
Rico shrugged. "I don't mind that. Although hiking through the jungle makes it harder to find the hidden treasure."
The guys all laughed.
"You don't see much jungle these days," Rico mused.
"That's why I was freaked out!" Hughie said. "I think every girl I've ever been with is bare down there."
"You know what I don't like?" Pilker asked. "I don't like it when a woman's bra and panties don't match."
Everyone stared at him. "Seriously?"
"Yeah. It just seems wrong. Like, she wouldn't go to the beach with a different bathing suit top and bottom. So why would she wear panties that don't match the bra?" He shrugged.
An image appeared in Tanner's mind of Katelyn wearing that sexy ivory lace bra and matching thong. Her gorgeous tits and smooth stomach, stretching out on his bed, rolling over to show the curves of her sweet ass …
"Did you just groan?" Duper asked him.
Tanner shook his head and slouched lower in his chair. He wished he had a Stetson that he could pull down over his face, like some of the guys in this place.
The music changed to a LeAnn Rimes song, "How Do I Live."
He found himself listening to the lyrics. He and Katelyn … fuck. How was he going to live without her? How would he survive? He closed his eyes as dark despair washed down through him.
"Back to the snipped discussion," Hughie said.
"No!" Tanner shouted, bolting upright. "What the fuck is wrong with all of you?"
The guys fell silent, staring at him.
"Dude." Rosser shook his head. "You obviously need more fiber in your diet."