"Look, Katelyn. I've been thinking. It was a mistake for us to get involved again."
When everything was up in the air. When he was such a loser.
Dense silence greeted his statement. "What?" she finally whispered.
"I'm sorry. I think we should end things now before it goes too far. I'll likely be traded. Your life is here now. Listen to you, all excited about how your business is going. I'm so happy for you, baby. Happy and proud." He coughed. "I don't want things to end badly, like they did last time. But I promise you, when we see each other … at the wedding … we can be friends."
A fist squeezed his throat, clamping down.
More quiet. "Tanner. Don't do this."
He closed his eyes, his heart lodging in his throat and nearly choking him. "I'm sorry."
"Tanner. I tried to find someone after you left. Even though my heart was broken, I still believed in l-love." Her voice broke and it was like another gouge at his heart. "All those men … I thought I found love. But I always realized, just in time, that it wasn't. That it wasn't what I'd felt for y-you."
"Katelyn." His eyes burned.
"And what I feel for you now … it's even more." She was sobbing and now he felt like that fork stabbing him was wrenching his heart right out of his chest.
"Don't tell me that," he begged her. "Don't make this harder."
Silence pulsed against his ear. Then she said, "Really? Really? You want this to be easy? Just like last time, when you got to walk away?" She paused. "Well, fuck you, Tanner."
The phone went dead.
"Katelyn?"
Nothing.
He stared at his phone, fingers gripping it, every muscle rigid to the point of pain.
Then he threw the phone at the window. It smashed into pieces and pinged around the room. He dropped onto his couch and covered his face with his hands.
Chapter 19
Katelyn's phone bounced off the wall and she threw herself onto her bed.
What the fuck had just happened?
Her heart split open, the ache in her chest so real and painful she gasped. Anger pulsed through her veins in hot bursts and her breath came in quick pants.
She'd been right. She believed in love, but it wasn't going to happen for her.
Except it had. He just didn't love her back.
Fuck him. Fuck him.
She replayed the conversation in her mind, over and over, his words still not making sense, still pissing her off.
I'll likely be traded.
She closed her eyes on a wave of agony.
Yes, they'd known for a while a trade was possible. Now that Julien had been re-signed, it did seem more likely they'd trade Tanner. Everyone seemed to believe the team couldn't afford them both.
Your life is here now.
Also true, goddammit. She'd made a nice life for herself here in Chicago, building her business, making new friends. She loved this city and she was starting to feel that her network was growing enough that she could be even more successful.
I'm so happy for you, baby. Happy and proud.
She was proud of him too. His career might be uncertain at the moment, but whatever way things worked out, he was an NHL star. He'd land on his feet wherever he ended up. He'd learn to love his new team and he'd be as loyal to them as every other team he'd ever played with. She knew him. He was talented and hardworking and determined to be an elite player.
I don't want things to end badly, like they did last time.
Well, that was some spectacular bullshit right there. What exactly did he think this was? This was so much worse than last time, it was laughable. This hurt so bad she almost couldn't breathe.
We can be friends.
More bullshit. They'd already proved they couldn't be friends. There was too much between them … too much heat, too much passion. That was so fucking stupid.
"Argh!" she yelled, and pounded her fists into the mattress. "Fuck you, Tanner!"
How could he do this to her again? Things had been going so well. Yes, she'd been nervous about the trade thing, partly for herself, sure, but mostly for him. She was worried about him, how he was going to take it if it happened, how the uncertainty was getting to him. Hadn't she been thinking about that earlier tonight? And hadn't she just decided that she needed to be there for him, no matter what happened?
Except he didn't want her there.
Really? Really?
And she'd been stupid enough to tell him she had feelings for him. She kicked her heels into the mattress in mortification. Why had she done that?