"Oh."
"And I might be coming with you next week."
"To the physical?"
"Well, not actually to the physical, but I've been invited to an awards ceremony. Jess is checking out whether it will be safe. She'll let us know."
That was nice. She'd been dreading leaving him, but this might give them another day or so together.
He still appeared on edge, and she leaned down and kissed him on the forehead, then climbed onto his lap, straddling his leans hips and kissing him on the mouth. For a second, he melted into her, then he pulled away.
She flinched, a little stab of fear jabbing her in the stomach. Was this it? Was this how it ended? Was he sick of her already?
She would have sworn that wasn't the case. They seemed closer than ever. Maybe that was the problem-he didn't want to be close. But she'd done her best not to get serious with him, to make it clear that she wouldn't cling when it was over. She just didn't want it to be over yet.
Leaning back, she studied him. His jaw was tight with tension. "Are you okay?"
She'd expected at simple yes, but instead he gave a shrug. "Just restless. I wish this whole thing was over."
Including me?
There was that little stab of fear again. But really, had she thought she could keep him when no other woman had? It was only days until her physical and then this would be over anyway. At least she hoped so. Or did she?
She'd been doing her very best to enjoy the "now" and not think about the future. Because there was a big dark hole when she thought about not seeing Zach again. But she would get over him, once she was back in the order and routine of her old life. Once she was back in control.
She trailed a finger down his chest, flicking open the top button of his shirt so she could slip her hand inside, stroke the warm, satiny skin. "If you're restless, we could go to bed. Work off some of that energy." She flicked another button, drifted her fingers lower, but he stopped her with a hand on top of hers and her gaze flew to his face.
"We can't spend our whole lives having sex," he muttered.
They couldn't? They hadn't been doing such a bad job so far. She didn't answer because she didn't know what to say.
"Maybe I'd just like to get out of here," he said. "Do something normal-like a normal couple."
Was he talking about a goddamn date? She chewed on her lower lip. "But we're not a normal couple, Zach. Hardly even a couple, never mind normal."
Anger flashed across his face. "The hell we aren't a couple."
Dani took a deep breath. She didn't understand him in this mood. Maybe she didn't understand him at all. "Let me get this straight. You want to take me out for a date?"
"We could head to the coast. Have lunch "
She didn't want to go out. She didn't want the real world to impinge on her little idyll. But he was looking eager now. He actually wanted to take her out. Was he bored? She didn't think so.
"Come on, Dani. You can go put a dress on."
"I don't have a dress."
He ignored her. "We'll take Gary to babysit me, but he's not sitting at our table."
She gave in to the inevitable. "I'll go shower."
Chapter Thirteen
They'd chosen a table under a yellow striped umbrella right at the edge of the sand. Gary sat across the terrace, nursing a cup of coffee and not looking happy. He hadn't approved of the trip but had given in when Zach had promised he'd do what he was told and come back at the first hint anything was amiss. Maybe Gary could also sense Zach's restlessness and had decided this was the lesser of two evils.
She knew Jake's people believed they were close to finding who had made the threats against Zach, but she was also aware that Jess thought they would make a move soon. So Dani kept herself wary and just sipped at the sangria Zach had ordered.
"You're not on duty," he said and refilled her glass.
"I know." She forced herself to relax. This was likely to be a one-off-why not enjoy it? She tuned out the people all around her; she'd gotten good at that in the army, where privacy was limited. Instead, she concentrated on Zach. "So what's bothering you?"
A smile flickered across his face. "Trust you to go for the straightforward attack."
"Well?"
For a minute, he gazed over her shoulder, then he looked her in the eyes. "I don't want you to go back into the army."
She jerked back at his words, knocking her glass and spilling the crimson liquid onto the tablecloth. Dabbing at it with a napkin, she tried to come up with a suitable response. She'd believed they had an unspoken agreement that they wouldn't discuss the future. But maybe Zach wasn't working to the same rules. Or more likely, he was a natural-born rule-breaker.
"I might not even go back to Afghanistan," she said. "I could be posted anywhere."
"L.A.?"
She blinked while she tried to make sense of his comment. "I don't think so. What's this about?"
"I " He smiled. "Nothing. Leave it. We'll talk some other time." He pushed his plate away. "We should have brought swimming things. You want to walk-go kick some surf?"
The beach was crowded. It was the height of the season, but she loved the salt tang in the air. When she was little, up until twelve, her family had gone to the seaside each summer and the smell brought back bittersweet memories.
"Why not?" she said.
She hadn't found a dress; instead, she wore shorts and a T-shirt. She kicked off her flip-flops and picked them up. Zach took her free hand in his and they strolled along the sand. She was aware of people watching them, but that would happen wherever Zach went. They were probably wondering what he was doing with someone like her.
The surf was cool against her bare toes and she pressed herself up against his side. "Is this normal enough for you?" she murmured.
"Maybe if I can zone out the big guy with the disapproving stare behind us."
"He is a little hard to ignore, isn't he? But he's good at his job."
A couple. A normal couple. Is that how he thought of them? She couldn't get her head around it; it didn't fit into her worldview at all. And what had he meant by his L.A. comment? Did he want to see her again? She couldn't see how that would work once she was back in the army. She could visit him on leave-though it would be hard once she was deployed.
Did she want to see him again or was this something she should put behind her? She'd always considered it as a timeout from real life. Now he was suggesting they make it real.
But Zach didn't do commitment and she couldn't bear to see him with other women after what they had been to each other.
Not if she was armed. She might shoot one or both of them.
She didn't like that she felt possessive-that wasn't supposed to happen.
But then nothing was turning out as she'd thought. Maybe no-strings sex didn't work for her. And she didn't want any strings; certainly she didn't want to care for Zach. She had a disastrous track record with people she cared about.
No, it was best to keep things light and then her world wouldn't collapse when he left her, as he no doubt would. Because she wasn't the only one with a bad track record. Zach was still the same person. He'd never committed to a woman in his life. Why would he start with her? How could she even consider changing her life for a man who would no doubt eventually get bored of her and relegate her to the very overcrowded ranks of his ex-girlfriends turned just friends.
A scream pierced the air, ripping her from her less-than-happy thoughts. Dani turned to stare out to sea, immediately on the alert. A woman was in the water about fifty feet out, clinging to the ropes that cordoned off the beach area and pointing at something close by. A capsized dingy.
"My daughter!"
Dani searched the water and caught a brief glimpse of a bright blond head before it disappeared beneath the waves. She hadn't noticed that the wind had picked up, but the sea was quite rough now, breaking against her knees.
Without thinking, she tossed her shoes to the ground and jumped headfirst into the surf, swimming strongly toward where she'd last seen the girl. She was vaguely aware of Zach close behind her, but she concentrated hard on the spot. When she reached it she dived, but found nothing. She came up for air and glanced toward the woman still clinging to the ropes. "I can't swim," the woman gasped, pointing at a spot to the left.
Dani dived again, her eyes straining through the gloomy water. Finally, she caught a glimpse of red-the girl's swimsuit. She could feel the tug on her lungs, signaling the need for air. But she couldn't give up. She couldn't fail. Not this time.
Her fingers snagged in the long blond hair and she tightened her fist around it, dragging the girl toward her and pushing to the surface. She came up gasping and lifted the little girl's head above the water.
Dani could detect no sign of breathing, and she swam strongly for the shore.
She laid her on the sand and knelt by her side. She looked about six, the same age Sam had been
Pinching the girl's nose, Dani breathed air into her mouth. "Come on," she muttered.
Finally, a choking sound. Dani crouched back on her knees as the girl rolled onto her side, retching as she spewed up the seawater she'd swallowed.
Dani closed her eyes for a second, weakness flooding her system. "You okay?" she asked.
The girl nodded, then sat up, blinking her huge blue eyes just as her hysterical mother descended on them, dragging her daughter into a merciless hug.