When she thought about it, she wasn't so much taken aback with seeing the other woman with Zach, as with her own reaction to it. She had done a pretty good job of avoiding him for the past week. She'd been proud of herself and she had almost convinced herself that Zach meant nothing to her. Then he had given her his gifts, and she had spent every spare moment since listening to his smooth, rich voice, weaving the magic of his stories.
She'd been totally entranced. That was what she had gone to tell him. Had needed to tell him. It didn't have anything to do with the fact that she couldn't stop thinking about him. Or that listening to that low, husky voice had reminded her of the words he'd whispered as he'd made love to her. No, it had nothing to do with that. But he deserved to be told. She'd never considered audio books before and she felt as though a whole new world had opened up for her. That was all.
And now she was faced with the fact that she had been wrong, so wrong. If Zach meant nothing, why was the thought of him and Lauren together tearing her apart? She had a sudden flashback to that first day. Zach and Lauren naked together. Both so beautiful, so perfect.
She wasn't perfect; she was damaged. She stroked her hand down her thigh, but even as she felt the raised edges of the scar beneath the cotton of her trousers, she knew that it wasn't only physically that she was imperfect. There was something fundamental missing in her, something that had been missing since Sam had died.
So while she had to accept that Zach meant something to her, she also had to accept that she meant nothing to Zach. Oh, he'd made love to her. But he'd made love to a lot of women. He'd backed off super quick when Jake had suggested he should. Or maybe it had been the "virgin" thing he couldn't take. He was probably worried she was going to go all clingy on him. Never going to happen.
People like Lauren and Zach belonged to the same world. A world where she would always be an outsider. But it hurt.
Until she had seen Lauren today, she hadn't realized how different she had felt over the past few weeks. Even doing her best to ignore Zach, she had still been aware that he was there, somewhere. It had been something new, something exciting, and now it was over. She just had to get a grip and decide how she was going to act, although there really didn't seem to be a lot of choice. She'd make it through dinner and she'd act as though she didn't care-as though it didn't matter. She sighed. She was good at that. After all, she'd had a lot of practice.
The sun was going down when she finally stood up, brushed herself off, and headed back toward the villa, Skip at her heels.
Dani came out of her room having showered and changed into clean, if otherwise identical, clothes, to find Gary and Simon waiting for her. Both looked pretty put-together in long pants and button-down shirts.
"Are we supposed to be dressing up?" she asked. Dressing up wasn't one of her strong points, and even if she had wanted to, it wasn't really an option anyway.
"Yes," Gary replied, giving her shorts and T-shirt a disapproving look. "Don't you have anything ?"
She peered down at herself-she looked okay. "Anything what?"
"More feminine."
"Duh, no," she replied. "Do you?" Gary grinned and Dani continued. "Anyway, why all this elegance?" They both looked a little shifty, and she snorted. "I take it you've met Lauren."
More than a little shifty, she decided.
"We took her down to meet the dogs this afternoon," Gary answered.
"Really? It took both of you to do it? And shouldn't that be my job? Why didn't I do that?"
"Well," Simon said, and Dani was pleased to hear the hint of guilt in his voice, "Zach said he'd been going to ask you but you disappeared pretty quickly and no one could find you. Where were you, anyway?"
"Around." She shrugged. "Come on, let's get this over with."
Zach and Lauren looked pretty good as well. In fact, everyone was gorgeous, with one obvious exception. She tried not to stare as Zach walked toward them, but it took a lot of effort. He was dressed in dark trousers and a white silk shirt, the sleeves rolled up to show strong, tanned forearms. Probably been sunbathing again, she thought caustically.
She turned her gaze to Lauren, who had gone for a matching look in a black-and-white sundress that showed off her voluptuous figure. Was the matching outfits pure coincidence? She guessed not.
"Danielle, this is Lauren. The two of you almost met."
"Well, I've seen her with no clothes on, does that count?" she asked. Gary cleared his throat behind her. "Gary has, too," she added for good measure.
Zach and Lauren both smiled. They were so well-mannered.
"Beer or wine?" Zach asked. He had a bottle of white wine in one hand and an empty glass in the other, so she asked for beer just to be difficult, then frowned as she realized it left her alone with Lauren.
"Danielle?"
"Dani," she corrected.
"Dani, then. We were almost introduced this afternoon. I'm Lauren." She took a sip of her wine and gave Dani a long look over the rim of her wineglass. "And you, presumably, are the reason I've been relegated to sleeping in the spare room."
Dani had been gazing out of the French windows mainly to avoid looking at Lauren. Now she turned and stared. "Sorry?"
"You should be. But I thought you'd be interested to know that my sleeping arrangements this visit do not include Zach. Not my choice, I might add."
"I don't know why you'd think I'd be interested?" Oh but she was. Very.
Lauren smiled. "I saw the way you looked when I came in today. You were quick to hide it, but my being there was definitely a shock. If it makes you feel better, it was a shock to Zach as well." She cocked her head to one side and regarded Dani thoughtfully. "You're really not his usual type, you know."
"Really?" Tell her something she didn't know. "You mean I've actually got clothes on?"
Lauren peered down at her. Dani hated being looked down at. Unfortunately, it happened a lot. "I don't mean to be rude or anything; it's probably not a bad thing. After all, Zach's usual girlfriends have a life expectancy of around three months. Max. Maybe you'll be different."
"Not likely," Dani muttered. "Anyway, I'm not his girlfriend. I'm not his anything."
Lauren raised an elegant eyebrow.
"Aren't you upset?" Dani asked. "About the spare room thing?"
For a moment, Lauren's smile faltered and Dani could see behind the mask of indifference to the pain beyond. Then Lauren shrugged. "I've always tried to be honest with myself where Zach's concerned. I knew when it started that it was never going to go anywhere and I knew, before I came here, that we were just about over. I shouldn't have come, but I thought, one last fling." She shook her head ruefully. "Never try for that last fling-it doesn't work. But then, Zach is sort of addictive."
They both looked over to where he stood chatting with Gary. He must have felt their gazes because he looked across, then held up a beer and beckoned her over with a smile. Dani kept her face immobile but inside she melted.
"Was it worth it?" she asked, turning back to Lauren.
"Oh yes." Lauren laughed softly. "Boy, was it worth it."
Dani could feel her face heating up, and she nibbled on her bottom lip, really not sure what to say.
Lauren relented. "It's not only the sex with Zach, though he'd be worth it just for that. The thing is he actually likes women and it comes across. He just doesn't want to marry one, doesn't even want to live with one. He's absolutely terrified of commitment. But even when he finishes it, it's always his fault not yours, and you can't help liking him. Come on, let's join the group. I can see Zach's getting jumpy." She grinned. "He's probably worrying about what I'm telling you."
Dani didn't know what to think; it felt like a reprieve. The tight band she hadn't even realized was around her chest suddenly loosened. She'd felt deflated earlier, but now she was floating.
She was on autopilot throughout dinner. She found herself sitting next to Zach, smiling and drinking but somehow managing to avoid talking to him directly. She watched as Lauren sat opposite between Simon and Gary, flirting outrageously with both of them, and wished she could feel half as relaxed or at least look as though she were.
Dinner was some sort of pasta with a creamy chicken sauce and salad, followed by double chocolate chip ice cream, and she knew Zach had arranged it for her. She licked the last of the dessert from her spoon and sighed. She couldn't ignore him any longer. She turned and found him staring at her mouth. She licked her lips, searching for stray ice cream.
"That was a wonderful meal," she said. "Did you cook it yourself?"
"No," Zach replied wryly. "The Italian restaurant in town delivered. Now, why don't you bring your drink and come out to the terrace." He didn't wait for her to reply but picked up her glass and got to his feet. "Come on. It's obvious I'm not going to get any conversation out of you in front of your bodyguards."
Gary and Simon looked up as she followed. Gary's eyes narrowed slightly but then Lauren spoke and he turned back to her. Dani let out a sigh of relief and followed Zach through the French doors. The warm night air wrapped around her, enveloping her in the sweet scent of jasmine.