Now she was about to blow it.
What she needed to do was convince Jake that he really didn't want sex with her again and that he certainly didn't want to marry her. It shouldn't be too hard, and she had come up with a plan after the sixth or so cocktail. She knew the type of women Jake usually went for-cool, understated elegance … sophisticated. She'd make herself the complete opposite-which shouldn't be too difficult-so no way would she appeal to him. She knew the look she was going for-total kick-ass chick.
She had work this morning, and she had to face Jake, if only to prove she could. But her afternoon was free and she'd booked an appointment at a hair salon-she was going to look so good, or so bad, depending on your viewpoint. This evening there was a leaving do for one of the guys at work. She'd reveal her new self there.
Perhaps then, Jake would realize that she was a much more suitable friend than she was a lover … or a wife.
But first, there was something she needed to do. Something she'd dreamed of doing for a long time.
Chapter Seven
Jake woke with a raging hard-on.
He considered doing something about it himself, and then had a better idea. Yesterday, Kim had run from him so fast after he'd made his strategically disastrous move of suggesting they get married. He'd decided to back off and give her time to get used to the idea. But by now she must have calmed down.
He'd bet she was lying below him right this minute. Probably thinking about him and how good they'd been together, maybe even touching herself.
His hard-on gave a twitch. It liked the idea.
Should he head down there? Offer his assistance? They often went running in the mornings together. He could pretend he thought they'd arranged it. And if she didn't want to go running they could …
He rolled out of bed and pulled on sweats and sneakers in record time and was heading down the stairs within minutes.
If they did go for a run, maybe they'd get back all hot and sweaty and find her water was off. Hell, he was the owner of the building; surely he could arrange a little thing like that. He'd offer to let her use his shower-a nice friendly gesture. Then he could offer to help her …
He was getting ahead of himself.
As he came out of the stairwell on Kim's floor and rounded the corner, her door opened. He stepped back instinctively as she emerged from her apartment. It didn't look like she was running; she wore her usual work gear of khaki combats and a T-shirt.
But it was too early for work.
Maybe she was heading somewhere first.
Or maybe she was meeting someone first. Steve perhaps? Was he going to have to fire Steve's sorry ass after all? His hands fisted at his side as he counted to ten to give Kim time to get a head start, and then he followed.
Christ, he was losing it again. She'd turned him in to a goddamn stalker. Still, he couldn't seem to stop.
Jake exited the building and came out on the street. He was fucked if she caught a cab-he wasn't so far gone that he could jump into another and say, "Follow that car." But she kept walking, and he kept following.
The streets were quiet this early, and he had to stay a good way back in order not to be seen. But when she headed over the river, he had his first inkling of where she was going.
Back to her old apartment. The one she had shared with her asshole ex-husband.
Why the hell was she going there?
Had talking about Michael yesterday brought back old memories? Had she decided she still cared about the bastard? She never spoke about her marriage, but she must have had some feelings for the guy-however misguided they were.
Had he driven her back to Michael?
What if he'd awakened something in her yesterday? A craving for more sex. Just not with him. Had she been disappointed and now decided to try someone else?
And picked her ex-husband.
Her gay ex-husband.
Maybe she liked a challenge …
… and Jake had been too easy.
His brain was about to explode, and he was being a complete dickhead. Of course she wasn't going to Michael for sex-she loathed the man.
So what was she going to see him for? He'd soon find out. She was entering her old apartment building now. At least he felt better about the whole stalking thing-he needed to be there in case things got ugly. Though he suspected Kim was more than a match for her ex these days.
He followed her into the building but hung back, taking up position just out of sight of the apartment door, but where he could still peer around the corner.
Her back was to him as she rang the bell, her body tense, her feet tapping against the tiled floor. When nothing happened, she jabbed her finger to the bell again and a few seconds later the door was yanked open.
And there he was. The asshole.
Just under six foot, with a narrow face and blond hair immaculately styled. Though Jake was pleased to see Michael's smooth good looks were marred by a crooked nose. Jake had done that, just after Kim had walked out-punched the bastard in his smarmy face. It had felt good at the time. Maybe he should see if it felt as good a second time.
Michael frowned and then his eyes widened. "Kimberly?"
"That's my name."
"What do you want?"
"Could you step outside for a minute?"
"Why?" He sounded suspicious. Jake didn't blame him.
"A minute of your time," Kim said. "And then I promise I'll go away and you'll never see me again."
Michael stepped into the corridor. "Now what?"
Kim whirled around and kicked out in a perfect imitation of the move Jake had used to floor Steve the day before. God, she was good. Her foot connected with Michael's chest, and he went straight down with a satisfying thud. Then he lay still.
Come on, asshole, get up.
Jake willed the man to stand so she could knock him down again. But unlike Steve, he didn't get up for a second helping.
Kim crossed to where he sprawled on the floor and nudged him with her toe. "Just one question," she said. "Why did you marry me?"
He wheezed and made to sit up, but she pressed him down with a foot on his chest. "Why?
"I loved-"
"Liar." She stepped back. "Good-bye, Michael. I hope we never meet again."
Jake wanted to cheer; instead, he turned and hurried out of the building ahead of her. Once on the street, he slipped into a doorway out of sight. He watched as she sauntered off in the direction of the office, hands shoved in her pockets.
That had been almost as good as sex.
Okay, he was kidding himself, but all the same, it had been pretty damn good.
He'd better make sure he didn't piss her off in the future, or he could end up on the floor as well. On the other hand … He grinned-she was welcome to knock him flat on his back anytime.
As long as she climbed on top afterward.
…
Kim knew as she walked away from Michael that she would never be totally free of him.
She'd pretended to herself that she was over him, that he had no effect on her life any longer. But that was far from the truth. While she hadn't set eyes on him since the day she'd walked out, he was always at the back of her mind. He was the man most responsible for the person she had become, the one who'd shown her the darkest part of herself. He was the reason she needed to feel strong, in control. The reason she would never let another man have that sort of power over her, never risk bringing that darkness rising to the surface once again.
All the same, that had felt extremely good.
Now all she had to do was prove that she could face Jake, and it would count as a successful day.
…
"Sex with Jake is not an option." Kim muttered the words under her breath as she watched Jake move gracefully through a tai chi sequence. She supposed it would be more accurate to say, sex with Jake again was not an option. But that would remind her of the first time and she was doing her pathetic best to forget.
The "not an option" clause had become a mantra she'd taken to repeating to herself at regular intervals throughout the morning. Not that it did much good.
However hard she'd tried to put the whole thing behind her, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about Jake and sex. Always in the same thought. It was as though a button had been switched on in her brain-a "sex with Jake" button.
She'd spent the morning doing Internet searches on potential employees for one of their biggest clients. But she found it increasingly difficult to focus on the job. All she needed to do was confront Jake and prove to herself that she could face him and treat him like a friend. Not like a guy who'd made love to her on top of his desk.
She wouldn't go anywhere near his office; while she might be able to face Jake, she couldn't face his desk-she wasn't ready for that yet. Instead, she waited until he headed for the gym. Dressed in a fitted black vest top and loose black trousers, his feet bare, he was totally focused, which gave her a rare chance to watch him unobserved.
There was no bulk to Jake; his muscles were flat and streamlined, his body sleek and long-limbed. She had seen him do these same sequences many times, but he still had the ability to enthrall her. Each movement was slow and deliberate, seeming simple, yet he exuded a raw power combined with an innate gracefulness that mesmerized her.
How could you look at that and not think sex?
She'd always managed perfectly well in the past; she'd just not thought about him in those terms. Reminder: Jake was her friend. He was not for drooling over-she had to remember that.
Which was impossible when her mind continued to flash back.
It was ten minutes before he came to a halt, glanced over, and smiled.