"Really. I'm guessing he caught her in a compromising position with Steve."
"No, he didn't." He'd caught them sparring, but that was hardly compromising. Not like being caught naked on your boss's desk with his head between your legs would be compromising. Shit. Why couldn't she get that image out of her mind?
Jess studied her through narrowed eyes. "Oh my God, she's blushing." She turned to Dani. "She's blushing-it's not a figment of my imagination, is it?"
"No, she's definitely a little flushed."
"Am not."
"Am." Jess sipped her drink and studied her some more. "So if it wasn't about Steve, what was Jake so pissed off about?"
"I wouldn't say he was pissed off exactly … " Well, he hadn't been then, but he might be now. After she had stormed off and left him standing in the ladies'. After he'd suggested they get married. She'd done such a good job of convincing herself they could go back to being friends, and then he'd gone and spoiled it.
"So if he wasn't pissed off, what would you say he was?" Jess broke into her thoughts.
Kim gnawed on her lip. She trusted Jess and Dani, and if she didn't talk to someone soon, she might implode.
"I slept with Jake."
There was complete silence at the table.
"Well, actually I didn't sleep with Jake. We … " She raised her gaze from her drink and looked at the other two.
Speechless.
"What?" she asked, her tone belligerent.
Jess's mouth fell open. "You slept with Jake?"
"I told you we didn't actually sleep."
Dani cleared her throat. "You had sex with Jake?"
Kim nodded.
"When?" Jess fired.
"This afternoon."
"Where?" Dani blurted.
"On his desk."
"You had sex with Jake, this afternoon, on his desk?" Dani repeated slowly, as if she couldn't believe it.
Well, Kim couldn't believe it either. She nodded morosely.
"The desk in his office?" Jess closed her eyes for a moment. "I will never be able to stand in front of that desk without that image going through my mind."
"Thank you," Kim muttered. "That's very supportive." Now she was definitely blushing. She grabbed Dani's cold beer and pressed it to her cheek, waiting for the heat to subside. It didn't happen. She swallowed the last of her drink. "I need more," she said.
"I'll go." Dani stood. "But don't say anything else until I get back. I don't want to miss this." Kim watched Dani limp across the floor to the bar. Maybe she should have gone, but Dani hated being treated like an invalid.
"She's getting better," Jess said softly. "It's more noticeable in the evenings, and she pushes herself too hard."
Dani got back to the table, put the drinks down, and they sat in silence for a few moments. Kim waited for them to say something else on the subject of Jake, but was not sure she wanted to hear it.
"I think Jake's always wanted you," Jess said eventually. "It's obvious really."
"Not to me, it's not." Though Jake had said he'd wanted her for a long time. But if that was true, he'd done a great job of hiding it. Or maybe she was just dim. "You must think me very naive."
"Not naive, no. Blinkered maybe. But I never thought he'd do anything about it," Jess continued. "You know Jake's got this protective streak a mile wide. I'd figured he'd told himself he couldn't risk hurting you and that you needed a friend more than you needed a lover. So what changed?"
"I told him I was planning on having an affair with Steve."
Dani choked on her beer. "Why did you tell him that?"
"Because he asked and I was-planning on having an affair with Steve."
"And Jake said … ?"
"That Steve was an idiot and that if sex was what I wanted, then I should have gone to him."
Jess snorted. "Wow, romantic."
Kim scowled. "I don't want romance."
"And I'm guessing Jake knows that." Jess nodded.
Kim slugged back a large portion of her drink. "This is a purely hormonal thing, and as soon as I have my hormones under control, it will go away and I can forget all about sex. It's just an itch that needs scratching."
"And Jake scratched it?" Dani asked. "So has the itch gone?"
"No, I'm definitely still itching." More than ever.
Jess laughed. "So what was it like?"
"I don't have a lot to compare it to. Only Michael and that was horrible."
Jess patted her hand.
"That's the only reason I told you," Kim said. "I want to know … need to know … if it was normal."
"Why? Did he do something kinky?"
"It wasn't so much what he did, as how I felt." Oh, God, this was embarrassing.
"So how did you feel?"
"Unbelievably good. I didn't know anything could feel that good." She squirmed in her seat as the memory of him inside her flashed through her mind. Hard and hot, and his mouth tugging at her nipples and … She bent down and rested her forehead against the table. Finally, she straightened. "Is that normal?"
"Don't look at me," Dani said. "I wouldn't know-I took a vow of celibacy when I joined up."
"Or me," Jess added. "It's been a long, long time. My only relationship recently has been with my vibrator. But don't be so worried. Having sex with Jake isn't necessarily a bad thing."
"Jake's my friend. I don't want to lose him."
"Perhaps you won't. You can get married, live happily ever after-"
She threw her hands in the air. "Ugh! That's even worse. I'll never marry again. I'll never-and I mean never-let anyone get close enough to control me. And you know what a control freak Jake is. No, my only hope is to pretend this never happened."
Right up until he'd said the dreaded M-word, she'd thought that perhaps she could have the sex and the friendship. Now, she knew deep down she couldn't have both, that she would have to choose. So they would be friends, old cronies together.
But what if Jake married someone else?
She could maybe live with the lovers who came and went from his life. But what if he finally committed to one woman? She'd believed he'd never marry, but what if he forgot to use a condom again? And got some woman pregnant? Not her, because she wasn't. No way. Couldn't be. But some other woman. She'd hardly want Kim in her home on a Thursday night to watch movies with her husband.
Everything was falling apart.
"How will Jake feel about going back to being just friends?" Jess asked.
"Why would he care? He has women falling over him. What's one more?"
Jess shook her head. "He does care."
How had things become so complicated? All she'd wanted was a little fun sex. Instead, she'd gotten a goddamn marriage proposal.
"Really across his desk?" Jess couldn't seem to get her head around that bit. How surprising. She grinned. "What if it had been the day for the window cleaners?"
"Piss off."
…
Kim woke the next morning with a headache and a sense of foreboding. Somewhere way above her head, Jake would be in his penthouse. Probably not still in bed-he was a disgustingly early riser. Being married to him would probably be a nightmare.
Though no doubt, she'd be getting up to see to the baby anyway.
Shut up.
She wasn't pregnant.
She hadn't had the courage to air that particular problem with Jessica or the fact that Jake had suggested they get married. He'd obviously felt guilty about forgetting the condom.
So from now on, she'd give up the idea of sex with Jake, which had never been a viable option, just a momentary aberration best forgotten.
Obviously, Steve was also out. But how about that activist from the party, Nick Winters, who'd called her at the office? He seemed nice … well, maybe nice wasn't the right word. More like dangerous in a sexy sort of way, but she could see herself going out with him.
No, she'd find an alternative for sex-or maybe buy herself a vibrator-and she and Jake could go back to being friends. His friendship was worth far more than a few mind-blowing orgasms.
She never understood why Jake had befriended her five years ago. He'd come into her life at a time when she'd desperately needed a friend. Nineteen years old, only six months into her marriage, and already she'd known that she'd made the biggest mistake of her life. The smooth charmer she'd married had metamorphosed overnight into a control freak with a drinking habit, a vicious temper, and absolutely no interest in her whatsoever.
She'd been confused and scared. Terrified of what she was turning into. There was a dark place inside her. Present since her mother's death, it had lain dormant waiting for something to trigger it into life. Now it was awake, and she'd battled with despair every day. Was that how her mother had felt?
But she'd also been angry. At herself mainly, partly for being so naive and unaware of Michael's real nature, but even more so by her inability to stand up for herself after he revealed his true colors. She'd known she should pack her bags and leave him, but she didn't know where to go. She had no friends in London, and she was convinced her father wouldn't welcome her back. He might love her, but he also wanted to control her and they hadn't parted on the best of terms.
She'd felt totally isolated until Jake had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. He'd taken her under his protective wing, made her feel safe, driven back the darkness, and given her a place to flee when she needed to get away from her husband. Jake had never judged her and had given her the strength and confidence to end her farce of a marriage. Afterward, he had done just about everything for her, found her somewhere to live, even given her a job, a whole new life.