There's a little cry as Lucy settles down and then Melissa comes back in. "Thanks for pausing the movie."
I will her to sit beside me on the couch rather than the chair. It feels like what she does now will decide something but I can't let it go. "Sit here," I say before she chooses one or the other.
She sits down beside me on the couch, not right up close but I can live with that. "I can't see very well over there," she says.
"I think Julie and Mike set their living room up for two. You'll have to put up with me or rearrange the furniture."
"I'm not sure there's any way to rearrange it. You'll have to put up with me too."
"I will if you will."
"Okay, then." She holds out her hand and I shake it. We have a deal but I've no idea what I just agreed to.
We watch the movie like two starfish stranded on the beach, unable to close the gap.
"Would you like a coffee, wine, water, soda?" I ask her when Bridget Jones makes her blue soup.
She nods. "A glass of wine would be good, thanks."
After we start sipping our wine, the atmosphere gets more charged. I'm sure we both know what is happening here. We end up closer together, although neither one of us makes a big move, and finally I put my arm around her to hold her close and smell her honeysuckle shampoo again. And she nuzzles close to me, her soft curves melting into my body.
CHAPTER 15
Melissa
I can't just sit next to Andrew, watching a movie like I would with a friend. I'm hyper aware of every slight movement he makes, every breath I take. Whatever's happening on the screen goes right over my head. I don't know what to do with my hands. All that uncertainty ends once he takes me in his arms. The truth is, I didn't want to sit on the chair or watch the movie. I wanted to be right next to Andrew, feeling the heat of his body next to me, his arms around me, his mouth on mine. So, when he tilts my chin toward him and his mouth seeks out my lips, I respond. Oh, how I respond. I don't want him to change his mind. I don't want that kiss to ever end.
"So beautiful," he says when we finally break off for a moment.
I like that he says that, even if it's not close to true.
"You are," he says, gruffly. "You may not believe it, but you are. I tried, but I can't keep away from you."
"I don't want you to."
He groans a little in his throat, his hands moving over my back, holding me close to him. He plants a trail of kisses down my neck and pulls me over to sit on his lap. "You are so fucking intoxicating."
I love that I have that effect on him and make him lose his cool. He pulls at my shirt and a button pops open as he bends his head to kiss the tops of my breasts, his hands pulling open the top of my bra and his tongue delving in to lick at my nipples, massaging them with wet heat until they are taut, his cock solid against my hip.
"Easier if we take this off," he says, undoing the buttons on my blouse one by one, not taking his eyes off mine until he removes it and then he unclips and pulls off my bra so I'm totally exposed to his gaze. I make as if to cover myself but he catches my fingers and kisses them. "Oh no, don't cover up. Like I said, you're beautiful. Never be ashamed of that."
He lays me down on the couch and then he takes a nipple into his mouth and it's as if he savors it with his tongue, his lips, his teeth while his hand covers my other breast, squeezing, rolling the nipple between finger and thumb, teasing until I'm on fire, thrusting out my chest to him, my hips arching beneath him, wanting him to go on doing that while at the same time wanting more from him. A lot more.
I'm gasping as if he took all the air from my lungs even before he pushes my breasts together and teases both nipples at once with his tongue, swirling around first one then the other then sucking them in together, my fingers grasping frantically at his hair. I come right there on the couch. He chuckles. "So fucking sensitive. I love that. Perfect tits, made for pleasuring. I could watch you come all night long like that."
But I need him inside me. I reach for his belt. "Andrew..." I want him to help me. I'm all fingers and thumbs but as he makes to undo the button on his jeans, there's a loud cry from the bedroom and then a continual wailing.
"Er...Lucy is crying," I say.
"So, she is," he groans.
"I'll go to her." I start covering up and he pulls a face.
"Sacrilege. Let me just kiss them before you go." I can't help but giggle as he kisses the tops of my breasts as I replace my bra. And then I pull away and go to Lucy. I hate to hear her cry.
I pick her up and bring her through to the living room but she's still crying. "She feels hot. Do you have a thermometer?"
"I know I saw one here somewhere." He rummages about in the kitchen, finds the thermometer and hands it to me, concern on his face. "Should we send for the doctor?"
"Hang on." I open her sleepsuit and examine her skin. There's no rash or anything. "Let me take her temperature first." It's only a little raised and I'm pretty sure it's nothing much to worry about.
"I don't think we need a doctor. It's just a slight fever. That's quite common in babies. She'll be fine if you have Tylenol-the one for infants."
He looks puzzled.
"It's supposed to bring their temperatures down." I hand Lucy to him. "Here, I'll get you some cool water and you can sponge her down while I look it up."
Mom always used Tylenol when Daniel had a temperature. What the hell do they use in England?
Google comes to my rescue. "It looks like Calpol is the equivalent."
"Oh yes, there was a bottle of that in the cupboard, where the baby formula is. Are you sure it will work?"
"If her temperature doesn't go down we can take her to the hospital, but babies get hot all the time and mostly it's okay."
"I don't like the sound of mostly."
I love how he worries about her like a daddy. Like she's not just turned his whole life upside down. There's no resentment at all.
Lucy takes the medicine and we continue to dampen her skin with cool washcloths and she finally settles.
"That was close," he says, and I'm not sure if he means Lucy or us. I hope he hasn't changed his mind about me.
CHAPTER 16
Andrew
Melissa puts Lucy back to bed in my room. I'd like to take Melissa to bed but the things I want to do to her, it feels all kinds of wrong with the baby in there so I don't follow her there.
And besides, the mood is broken. Maybe it's for the best. Things will get awkward if we end up in bed, but back there on the couch with her it felt anything but awkward. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to want her, to take her and make her mine.
When she comes out of my room, it's clear she's had second thoughts too. She blushes and shrugs. "I'll see you in the morning," she says. "Let me know if she wakes and feels hot again."
"I will. You'll be okay when I go to work tomorrow?"
"Yes. I'll be fine."
And with that, we're back to being the father of the baby and the babysitter.
*
It's good to return to work with the crew on day shift, though there's not so much of the usual banter going on at first. They know why I've been away and about the changes in my life.
I've seen most of them since the accident. Some came to the funeral. Not Jerry, I seem to remember. Some came by later. But the ones who didn't, commiserate with me today. "Sorry about Julie, how are you getting on?" "Jeez, man, what a crap thing to happen."
I can't stand the pity, so I make light of it as much as I can. I want things back to normal, at least as normal as they can be. So, I make jokes and rib the guys and when an emergency comes in, we're on it as usual and it's just like it's always been. Covering each other's backs. Making sure people and pets are out and damage from the fire is minimized.
It feels different going home today. I'm going to a different place, sure, but it's more than that. I'm not going home to an empty house. Angela was always working late at the office or away on some business trip. I'm going home to Lucy and Melissa and that thought makes me smile. More than I ever thought going home to a baby and babysitter would.
Melissa has cooked a casserole. She asked me this morning if I minded her cooking.
"I'll tell you after I test the results," I quipped. "But feel free to use anything you find in the fridge, though if you're going to get experimental with strawberries and corned beef, I'll bring home fish and chips."
"Very funny." She smacked my arm and I wanted to grab her hand and pull her to me, feel her soft body against me but I didn't.
So, the smell of good food greeting me is great. Lucy is in her high chair, banging on the tray with a wooden spoon. All those toys and she uses a spoon! She grins up at me. "Hello, poppet. Did you have a nice time with Melissa?"
She gabbles back at me. "Muh muh muh."
"I think she's trying to say ‘Melissa'."
"I don't think they do that for months yet," she says, but she smiles at the thought. "How was your day?"
We are like the picture of domestic bliss and suddenly I envy the guys who have this all the time, who go about with wife and baby pictures in their wallets. I never carried a picture of Angela about. I guess that says it all.
"Not bad. Fire in Billingford. Place about ten miles from here."