"I will," Joy assured him, glancing up at him with a slight frown. "What's in the box?"
Silas followed her gaze down to the armful of Esther's belongings he was holding. "Oh, uh...I dropped by the shelter to gather up some of Esther's stuff. I figured you might want to keep some of it.
"I don't," Joy retorted.
Regardless, Silas could tell her interest was piqued. "No pressure," he said, carrying the box into the living room and setting it down near the fire place. "It'll be here when you're ready."
Silas turned to leave then, wanting to give Joy time alone to process everything. Standing back in the hall, he watched as she stood up and slowly made her way over to the box. A small smile pulled at her lips when she flipped it open to examine the contents, and as fleeting as it was, it gave him hope that maybe she'd soon come around.
Chapter 19
Silas was relieved by the way the rest of the week unfolded. With a little coaxing, he managed to get Joy to join him for dinner and a movie come Friday night. She wasn't her most talkative, but she was present, and it left him feeling like maybe things were starting to get better.
That night, shortly after dozing off, Silas awoke to a loud bang and stepped out into the hall to find a light leaking from his office.
"Come look at these," Joy said when she noticed him lingering in the doorway, seeming wide-awake despite the fact that it was nearly midnight. "They're pictures from Esther's baby shower."
Silas stepped inside the room to get a look at the photographs Joy was flipping through at his desk. "She looks so happy," he observed, giving her a sad smile.
"She was," Joy affirmed, reaching inside the box beside her for the next stack. She stopped short, however, when she noticed the neatly folded note with her name written across it in delicate cursive.
Silas held his breath as he watched her read it. He'd been waiting for her to discover it ever since he'd brought home Esther's belongings.
"I'm fine," she assured him before he could ask, wiping away her tears before they could manifest any further. Folding the note shut, she pressed it against her heart and closed her eyes real tight before regaining her composure. "Thanks for bringing me all of this," she whispered, glancing over her shoulder at him. "I think I'm finally ready to pay Essie a visit."
Essie was Esther's daughter, a perfectly healthy infant with her mother's eyes and a head full of the most gorgeous curls. Gloria had gained temporary custody of her in light of everything, and naming her after Esther just seemed like the most rational course of action.
"Do you want me to join you?" Silas offered.
"No," Joy said, her voice firm. "This is something I need to do alone. Besides, you've already missed enough work as it is. I don't want to put you out anymore than I already have."
"You're not," Silas retorted, reaching out to caress her back. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. You know that."
"I know … I just feel guilty is all..."
"Well don't," Silas insisted. "My job is secure. If you want to worry about something, make it the wedding. Have you decided on a date yet?"
Joy hesitated, taken somewhat off guard by the question. "I was thinking spring, but I really don't want a huge ceremony. The smaller the better. My mom won't be happy about it, but she'll live."
"What about your dad?"
"You know how he is. He'll be happy so long as there's beer, food, and a place for him to plant his ass."
Silas laughed.
The following morning, Joy got up early and prepared them a hearty breakfast before leaving for the shelter to spend time with Essie just as she'd promised the night before. "I'll be fine," she assured Silas, standing on her tiptoes to give him a fleeting peck on the lips before making her way down the driveway to her car.
Rhonda, one of the shelters head volunteers, met Joy at the front door when she arrived. "She just woke up from a nap, so she might be a little cranky," she said as she handed Essie over to her, taking a moment to watch the two interact before disappearing into the kitchen to give them some alone time.
Joy carried the half-awake infant into the living room and took a seat on the couch, keeping her small body snuggled against her bosom as she did. She'd assumed her return to the shelter would be painful now that Esther was gone, but quite the contrary, a sense of peace washed over her as she stroked the child's back.
"She's such a good baby," Rhonda informed Joy as she reentered the room with a bottle of formula in hand. "It's sad though. Sometimes I look at her, and it's like … I don't know. Like she just knows her mom isn't coming back."
Joy took the bottle from the girl and studied her face as she did, soaking in her worn appearance and distraught eyes. She was one of the few people Esther had grown quite close to during her short time at the shelter, which was why it came as no surprise to Joy that she appeared to be taking her death the hardest of all the volunteers. "Is there any news yet on an adoptive family?" she asked her, speaking quietly so as not to disturb Essie.
"Only a few potential foster families," Rhonda said, taking a seat beside them. "Gloria isn't having that though. She knows Esther wouldn't want her jumping around the way she did, so she told CPS that she'll keep holding her here until they find something more permanent."
Joy listened as she spoke, perking up when a light bulb went off in her head. "Maybe I can help," she offered, feeling completely unsure as to why the idea hadn't occurred to her sooner. "Silas and I are in a really good place right now. We're more than equipped to handle this."
"Uh, I don't know about that," Gloria spoke up from the doorway, making her presence known. "You two only just got back together. Do you really think its smart to commit to something this major?"
"It's what Esther would want," Joy retorted, refusing to budge. "Silas cared about her just as much as I did. We can provide a stable home for Essie. A loving home."
Gloria was quiet as she considered it.
"Just let us try it out for a few days," Joy pleaded. "If nothing else, it'll at least give you a chance to rest up. Trust me, I know it can't be easy having a newborn baby on your hands."
It took a little more coaxing, but eventually Gloria caved, retiring to her room to pack an overnight bag for the infant.
In the days that followed, Joy surprised herself with just how effortlessly she fell into the role of Essie's caregiver. The two took to each other with ease, and eventually she began to feel as though she'd given birth to her herself. She didn't give that thought any power though. Instead she kept Esther's memory alive by always bringing her up to Essie, and as young as she was, she swore she could see a twinkle in the child's eyes whenever she did. It was a bond written in the stars, and Joy knew without any doubt that she wouldn't be able to return her to Gloria
She was hers.
Chapter 2o
"She is too precious," Joy's mother Vivian gushed, never once taking her eyes of the doe eyed infant in her arms. She and Joy's stepfather Ron had dropped by unexpectedly after church, completely disregarding the fact that Joy was far too exhausted from staying up all night with Essie to entertain guests.
"Sure is," Ron agreed, smiling at the child. "How long you think it's gonna take to get custody of her?"
"We're not sure yet," Joy said, talking from over the edge of her coffee mug. "It's a complicated process. Hopefully by the end of spring, though."
With that, Joy entered the living room and attempted to pry Essie from her mother's arms, but Vivian waved her off and insisted that she had it covered if she wanted to go shower.
"Well … alright," Joy agreed, deciding not to fight her on it. "I'll try to make it quick."
Joy's parents welcomed the alone time with their soon-to-be grandchild, however, Joy had only been in the shower for all of a minute when Silas walked through the front door with a box of donuts in hand. "Everything okay?" he questioned, pausing in the foyer to remove his shoes and jacket. He, like Joy, hadn't been expecting any guests.
Vivian nodded. "Everything's fine. We just popped by for a quick visit with our new grandbaby." She smiled down at Essie then, taking a moment to smooth her curls back away from her face before looking up to address Silas again. "We couldn't be happier that you and Joy decided to keep her. It's a real Christ-like thing of you to do."