"I'll go to the front desk and see what they can tell me," Joy said, making her way over to the nurse seated behind it.
"Fill this out and have a seat," the woman said in a brusque tone, handing Joy a clipboard without bothering to look up from what she was doing.
Joy narrowed her eyes at her. "All I need is an update on a patient," she explained. "She just had an emergency C-section, and um … I guess there were complications."
"Name?" the nurse inquired.
"Esther Jackson."
The nurse scanned her computer for Esther's name, and she was just about to break the bad news to Joy when Blair appeared from down the hall looking like a battle scarred soldier.
"What is it?" Joy questioned, rushing towards her. "What happened? Is the baby okay?"
Joy flooded her friend with questions, and she wouldn't stop until Blair took her by the arm and led her over to a quieter side of the ward. "I have some bad news," she said, choosing her words carefully. "The baby's fine. She's being taken care of in the NCUI. But … Esther … she … she didn't make it. There was just too much blood … and we … we just couldn't stop it … "
Joy fell to her knees as soon as the words left Blair's mouth, dissolving into a fit of sobs. "NO!" she yelled, pounding her fist raw against the ground. "This isn't happening! It can't be! I just saw her!"
Sensing that Blair was in over her head, Silas rushed to Joy's side. At first she tried to fight him off, but it wasn't long before she lost her strength and went limp in his arms. "I'm sorry," he whispered, cradling her like a baby. It was the most vulnerable he'd seen her look since she'd gotten the news that their daughter didn't have a heartbeat, and he realized then that there was nothing he wouldn't do to shield her from that kind of pain moving forward.
Chapter 18
"Well at least I got her to eat something," Blair said as she entered Silas's kitchen, setting a tray of half eaten food down on the marble countertop.
Silas surveyed the remains and sighed. "What? A couple bites of salad and a cracker or two?" he sighed and rubbed his face. "I think we should talk about having her go see a therapist if she doesn't snap out of this soon … "
"She's just grieving," Blair reminded him. "It's not our place to tell her how she should feel."
"I know," Silas responded, taking a seat behind the island counter. "I'm just worried about her. It's been almost two weeks and she won't even get out of bed. I thought the funeral would help her move on, but it seems like all it did was make everything worse … "
Silas fell silent and took a moment to gather his thoughts. The more rational part of him knew that what Blair was saying was true, but he couldn't help but feel eager to get his Joy back. They'd only just reunited, yet it took no time at all for tragedy to strike them once again. It didn't seem fair, but then again, was anything?
"I have to get back to work," Blair said as she pulled her arms through the sleeves of her jacket and prepared to leave. "I'll give you a call later to check up on her."
Silas nodded and went to follow her out through the foyer, but he froze when Joy appeared from his bedroom and started for the bathroom across the hall. "You okay?" he called after her.
"Yeah," Joy responded without looking back at him, her voice dull. "I'm just gonna run a bath."
Silas thought that sounded like a good idea. As much as he loved her, it killed him to see her so depressed that she was allowing her hygiene to fall to the wayside.
"Just give her time," Blair said, pausing in the archway of the front door. "She'll come around eventually."
Silas stood back and watched her go, waiting until he heard her car pull out of the driveway before retreating back into the living room to await Joy's reappearance. He was captivated by the last half of a Wizards game when she finally stepped out, and he inhaled a shallow breath when he noticed how swollen her eyes were. Flipping off the TV, he stood up to follow her into his bedroom and lingered in the doorway as she began drying herself off.
Joy glanced at him as she got dressed, wiggling into a clean nightgown before taking a seat on the edge of the bed and dropping her face into her hands. Not being able to stand how helpless she looked, Silas came over to sit down beside her and pulled her damp body against his, pressing a soft kiss against her forehead as he did.
They remained in that embrace for a good long while, neither one of them speaking, but eventually Joy grew tired and pulled away from him to settle in for a nap. Sleeping, it seemed, was just about all she did these days.
Silas stepped back out into the hall once he was sure Joy had drifted off, grabbing his cellphone from his office along the way and pausing to dial the number to the shelter.
"Silas," Gloria greeted upon picking up, her tone somber. "How's Joy holding up?"
"Not too good," Silas told her, deciding to be honest. "That's actually why I'm calling. I was hoping I could come by and talk to you about something. It's … kind of important."
"Sure," Gloria said. "I'm actually in the middle of cleaning out Esther's room. I think there are a few things here that Joy might want to have if you wouldn't mind bringing them to her..."
"She'd like that," Silas agreed, grabbing for his keys. "I'll be there in twenty."
Silas hung up and went to write Joy a quick note informing her that he was running an errand before sliding into his shoes and making the short drive over to the shelter. One of the weekday volunteers came to greet him when he arrived, and he was overcome by an eerie stillness in the air when he approached Esther's room. "It's hard to believe she's gone," he spoke up, making his presence know to Gloria, who was crouched near Esther's desk boxing up some of her books.
"I know," she said, setting a weathered copy of ‘What to Expect When You're Expecting' down in the box before turning towards him. "Would you mind helping me pack up the rest?" she questioned, gesturing towards a large pile of hard covers spread out on the twin bed across from her.
Silas noticed that they were mostly GED study manuals and swallowed hard, his thoughts immediately drifting to all the things Esther would never get to accomplish. Stepping forward from the doorway, he began transferring all the books over to the open box on the end of the mattress, but he stopped short when a folded up piece of paper fell from one and landed right in front of his feet.
"What's that?" Gloria questioned, reaching to pick it up. She unfolded it and gave it a slow read, pausing to digest whatever was written on it before handing it over for him to see.
Silas's blood pressure spiked when he realized it was a note addressed to Joy. He felt intrusive reading it before she did, but even so, he couldn't bring himself to stop. On the wrinkled up notebook paper was the following sentiment:
Joy,
You've done so much for me these past few months. I feel like I've known you my entire life, and I definitely wouldn't be as well-off as I am now if it wasn't for you. Please do me the honor of being this baby's godmother. I can't think of anyone else I'd trust with the job.
Love,
Esther
Silas's eyes misted up as he read over the note for a second time. He left the shelter shortly afterwards, wanting to give it to Joy as soon as possible. He figured she'd most likely still be asleep though, which was why he was surprised when he walked through the front door to find her sitting in the living room flipping through one of her many astrology books.
"Hey," he greeted, coming over to give her a kiss on the cheek. "It's good to see you up."
Joy shrugged. "I got tired of being in that room. It's suffocating in there."
"Well if it's a change of scenery you want, maybe we can go out for dinner or something. How does soul food sound? Maybe Georgia Brown's? I know how much you like their jerk chicken … "
"Nah," Joy muttered, not sounding the least bit interested. "I'm really not up for anything social just yet..."
Silas nodded, wanting to be as understanding as possible. "Well at least give your mom a call," he pleaded. "She won't stop worrying. I'm starting to think she might just show up here."