***
Joy answered her cell phone in a singsong voice and held up a finger to silence Esther when she realized it was Silas.
"Is this a bad time?" he questioned, taking notice of the background noise.
Joy shook her head even though he couldn't see her. "Nah, you're fine," she assured him. "Esther and I were just celebrating with some pizza and a couple movies. She got a job offer today. I'm super proud of her."
"That's great," Silas responded, forcing himself to sound more enthused than he felt. "Let her know I said congrats."
"Why don't you tell her yourself?" Joy suggested. "Come over. We still have plenty of food left."
Silas jumped at the offer, smiling to himself as he jotted down Joy's address. He arrived at her place shortly after, and she answered the door before he could even get the chance to knock.
"Is that what I think it is?" Joy questioned, gesturing towards the bag he was holding.
"Sure is," Silas told her. "One raspberry cheesecake from Capital City just like you like it. I figured you deserved a little reward for all you've done for Esther lately."
Joy grinned, but it dissipated as soon as she noticed the discoloring around his left temple. "Yikes," she exclaimed, reaching out to touch it. "Dare I even ask how that happened?"
Silas flinched at her touch, but he didn't recoil, and she promptly escorted him into her kitchen and grabbed an ice pack from the freezer to press against his face. "Everything's fine," she called out to Esther when she inquired as to what the hold up was. "Go ahead and start the next movie. We'll be in there in a minute."
"It's really no big deal," Silas assured Joy as she began to tend to his wound. "Lara's just a bit … dramatic … that's all."
Joy pulled back to look him in the eye and frowned. "Lara did this to you?" she questioned, not bothering to mask the displeasure in her tone. "Why?"
Silas shrugged. "I may or may not have ended our engagement … "
"And her reaction was to hit you?" Joy shook her head as she eyed his naked ring finger, still not getting it. "What aren't you telling me?"
Silas sighed and rubbed his face. "I told her about the pregnancy," he admitted, rubbing a kink from his neck. "Lets just say she didn't take it all that well." Falling silent, he took a moment to gather his thoughts before continuing. "It doesn't matter though. Our relationship was already on the outs anyway."
Joy stared at him at a loss for words, but she was saved from having to respond when Esther entered the kitchen complaining that she was tired. "Would you mind dropping me back off at the shelter?" she asked the older woman, rubbing her stomach as she looked back and fourth between her and Silas.
"I can do it," Silas volunteered.
"Are you sure?" Joy questioned. "I mean … you only just got here..."
"It's really no big deal," Silas assured her, standing up and grabbing for his keys. He turned to look at her on his way out of the kitchen, and the two shared a quiet moment before he disappeared out the front door just as quickly as he'd arrived.
"So tell me about this new job of yours," Silas said as he drove Esther home. "When do you start?"
"Next week," she told him, keeping her gaze focused out the window. "It's at a tax office, so it's only seasonal, but it's something I guess. I'll be the one dressed as the statue of liberty waving a sign out front. It's entry level, but Joy keeps saying it'll be a good foot in the door for me. Whatever that means."
Silas smiled to himself. "Yeah, that sounds like something she would say … "
"Don't get me wrong though, she's real nice," Esther continued. "I don't think I've heard her say one bad thing about anyone … not even you." Pausing, she stole indiscrete look at him in the darkness. "No ones ever cared about me as much as she does," she admitted, her voice soft. "Not ever."
Silas looked away from the road for a moment to meet eyes with her. He couldn't help but get the feeling that she was attempting to sell him on Joy, which was pretty funny considering he didn't need to be sold.
"Oh yeah?" Esther challenged when he told her so, her expression skeptical. "Then why're you with blondie and not with her?"
Silas smiled at the young girl's bluntness. "I'm not," he told her, feeling glad to finally be telling the truth. "Not anymore."
Chapter 16
"So he's really leaving her?" Blair questioned as she switched her cellphone over to the other ear. "Just like that?"
"Sure is," Joy confirmed. "She had it coming though. You should've seen the number she did on his face. He tried to downplay it, but trust me, it wasn't pretty … "
"Wow," Blair said, surprised. "She was a little curt, don't get me wrong, but she didn't really strike me as the domestic violence type … "
"Yeah, well, it's always the ones you don't expect," Joy rationalized. "I'm just glad he isn't sticking around for round two. He deserves better."
"What, you mean like you?"
Joy snickered. "Funny, but no," she said, shaking her head. "I'm not about to be his rebound."
***
Silas's weekly therapy session was going a whole lot more smoothly than he'd anticipated. He'd always found talking to strangers about his innermost thoughts and feelings to be an uncomfortable burden, but the past few days had worn him thin, making this session all the more necessary.
"Do you have any plans for New Years?" his therapist inquired, breaking his trance.
"Nah," he told the older gentleman. "I've spent most of my life bringing in the new year alone. I doubt this year will be any different."
Silas's therapist clicked his pen and pressed it to his notepad. What he found relevant enough to jot down and what he didn't was a mystery to Silas, but he'd learned a long time ago that there wasn't any point in trying to figure it out. "And how do you feel about that?" he questioned. "Being alone, I mean."
Silas paused to consider it. "It's not ideal, but I make due with it … "
"And when you're alone-do you ever find yourself dwelling on that which you can't change?"
Silas frowned. Sometimes he wondered if the man could read his mind. "I mean … I guess … but who doesn't have those kind of thoughts? Aren't regrets just another part of being human?"
"Yes, but that doesn't mean they're healthy. Which is why I'd like for you to step out of your comfort zone and do something you usually wouldn't this holiday season."
"Like?"
"I don't know. Volunteer. I have it on pretty good authority that there are plenty of people in this city who could use a helping hand. People a whole lot less fortunate than you are."
"And how do you know I'm fortunate?"
Silas's therapist held back a chuckle at that, lifting his gaze from his notepad to look him in the eyes for the first time since he'd entered his office. "I don't run cheap," he elaborated. "I figure if you can afford these sessions, you can probably afford to give a few people a happy holiday as well."
Silas was quiet as he considered this. "Well one of my friend's is volunteering at this shelter for troubled youth. Maybe I can play Santa and drop off some gifts … "
"That sounds perfect. Would this happen to be the same friend you're starting to develop feelings for again? The one you lost a child with?"
"Yeah. Thing are going great with her. Better than I could have ever imagined, actually."
Silas's therapist smiled and slid back on his glasses, preparing to jot more notes down on his pad. "How so?"
"I don't know," Silas said with a shrug. "She's just an all around incredible person. It's killing me not to just come right out and tell her how much I still love her … "
"What's keeping you from doing so?"
"Easy," Silas whispered, studying his hands. "I don't want to scare her away."
***
Joy had just ended her call with Blair and was about to leave to shelter when she bumped into Esther exiting the wreck room. "You okay?" she asked the young girl, taking immediate notice of her discomfort.