For a moment, for a moment the new Lise shook inside her. The old Lise urged, begged her to leave with her dignity and any remaining pride. The struggle broke inside her, making her sway for a moment.
Her husband ignored her.
Her son kicked her. Hard.
A boom of thunder rumbled outside. And in.
The new Lise won.
“No.” She stepped to the edge of his desk and poked a trembling finger into his chest. “I won’t agree to it, Vico. I’ll fight you.”
His mouth tightened and he glanced at her. “Drop this. I’m not changing my mind.”
Again, she noticed how dead his eyes were. There wasn’t a glint of the love of life in them she usually saw. But now, instead of hurting her, they stopped her and gave her courage.
What was going on here?
What was really going on?
His rejection had struck her with a hard, cold slug, but now her brain worked again. This didn’t jive with what she saw, what she knew, what she felt.
The man who smiled and laughed with her was a man who loved her. She saw it.
The man who cared for her and her baby with tenderness loved her. She knew it.
The man who held her in his arms in bed was a man who loved. She felt it.
For the first time in her life, she trusted her gut, not her head. She didn’t hear the words he spoke, she heard the song of his soul. If she was going to go down in the flame of defeat, she’d deal with it later. For right now, she was going to jump into the frenzy and fight him for this love they both shared.
This love they both shared.
“You changed your mind before,” she pointed out. “No divorce, you said. Ever.”
“Things change—”
“So you can change your mind again.”
“Dio santo.” He wrenched his hand through his curls. “Don’t you ever give up?”
A slight smile crossed her lips, although she shook inside. “No. You should know that by now.”
Instead of joining her in the attempt at humor, his expression flattened. Then incongruously, he laughed. A hollow, short laugh. A laugh filled with agony. She knew instantly this laugh had nothing to do with her humor. This horrible laugh was tied to something far worse.
“Vico.” She reached for him, but he stepped away. Instead of letting her touch him, he strode to the window and stared out. The boom of thunder rattled through the silent room. A crack of lightning lit the grey sky then shot apart.
“You ask for everything, don’t you, mia dolce?” His voice was tired and defeated.
“I’m only asking for what you promised,” she whispered. “I promise not to ask for your love.”
Another hollow laugh accompanied another boom of thunder. The air stilled around her. The shaking inside her escalated until the shivers of fear and waiting and hope ran down her skin in waves. “Vico?”
“Il mio l’amore.” The words were choked, filled with an emotion she couldn’t define.
But it didn’t matter.
What mattered was these were the words she’d needed to hear. She thanked the stars for her Italian studies. She wanted no more misunderstanding between them. His foreign words poured through her heart with a pure elation she’d never experienced before. Stepping toward him, she touched his shoulder, smiling through her happy tears. “I love you too and that’s all that matters.”
“No.” He jerked from her touch. His hand slapped onto the window as if he couldn’t keep himself upright without it.
“You love me.” She tried to understand, yet couldn’t. “I love you. What else is there?”
He breathed heavily, the sound echoing in the office.
“Vico?”
“Don’t you see?” He twirled in a sudden, impatient rage.
She sucked in a breath when she saw his face, contorted in awful pain. “I don’t,” she said, desperate to comfort him. “Tell me.”
His eyes flared with disgust. Self-disgust. “I love you enough to let you go. I love my son enough to let him go.”
“Why?”
The question hung in the air, hovering between them.
Then, she watched as his dead eyes blazed with complete life. But it wasn’t the life she’d fallen in love with, eyes blazing with intelligence and joy and humor. These eyes held an awful life of shame and torment.
Without thinking, she stepped near his body and encircled him in her embrace. Even as he tried to step away. Even as his arms hung at his side. Even as he moaned, “no.”
“Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter.” The scent of almonds mixed with sweat filled her nostrils as she snuggled deeper into his chest.
“It matters.” He stopped struggling, but his words were completely certain.
She peered into his face. “What is it?”