But now he was back, and she had this tingly excitement in the pit of her stomach that made her hope he might be back for good.
And that scared her more than facing the future alone.
"What does that comment mean? I never ignored you when we were together."
Donovan was still trying to process the fact that Cassidy was having his baby. He couldn't believe his good fortune in finding her pregnant. He'd come here today to ask her to marry him again, to convince her that he'd changed his mind about family. And he had to do it without revealing the circumstances that had brought him to her doorstep today.
Donovan had forgotten how truly beautiful Cassidy was. Her skin was like porcelain, fine and pale, and her hair was rich and thick. He knew from experience how soft it felt against his skin. Her lips were full, and though she didn't have lipstick on, they were a perfect deep pink color-the exact same shade as her nipples. God, he wanted to forget about talking and just draw her into his arms and kiss her. How he'd missed her mouth … .
His body hardened and he adjusted his legs, trying to quell his erection. He'd never thought of pregnant women as sensual before, but there was something about seeing Cassidy's lush body filled out with his child.
"Only because I knew that you needed to be at work twelve hours a day and on weekends … I didn't make a lot of demands on your time," she said.
It took a moment for her words to register, because he'd been watching her mouth and wondering … if he leaned over and kissed her, would she kiss him back?
But then the words registered and he realized that she probably wasn't in the mood to be kissed. She was busy focusing on all the reasons they were no longer together. And he needed to get her thinking about why they should be again.
If there was one thing that Donovan was good at, it was winning-and winning Cassidy over was his first priority. He was competitive, and his drive for success went much deeper than wanting to make money. God knew, with his trust fund he never needed to work a day in his life. And the investments he'd made in the ventures with his friends had paid off handsomely. But he wanted more. He wanted his birthright-the CEO position at Tolley-Patterson.
Looking at Cassidy with her beautiful hair curling around her face made him realize that he'd missed her far more than he'd realized. He wouldn't have come back on his own, without the incentive of needing a wife and child, but being here now, he knew that coming back was exactly what he'd needed to do. Her pregnancy simply made his objective that much easier to attain.
"I'm sorry," he said. And part of him really meant the words. Another part-the man who was always looking for a way to turn every situation to his advantage-knew that being humble would help him win Cassidy back. Knew that even though he'd hurt her, there was a tentative hope in her eyes.
"For?"
"Making you feel like you weren't first in my life," he said.
She fiddled with her food bag and drew out a foam container of what he suspected was she-crab soup.
"Don't play games with me, Donovan."
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are. You're a master game player and everything you do is for a specific purpose."
She knew him well. In fact, that was one reason he'd let the distance grow between them when she'd walked out on him. She knew him better than he wanted anyone to know him. But she was the key to what he needed, and he wasn't going to let her walk away again. This time, he was better able to make room for Cassidy in his life.
"What? No snappy comeback?" she asked.
"Sarcasm doesn't suit you."
She shrugged. "I'm pregnant. Most of the time that means I get a pass on things like that."
"Does it?"
"Yes."
"From who?"
"Everyone." She gave him a grin that was pure Cassidy for sexiness. She had a way of accepting her feminine appeal and knew its effect on everyone she met.
"Is there a man in your life?" he asked, abruptly realizing that she might have met someone after they'd broken up. Oh, he knew the baby was his. Not just because she'd confirmed it, but because he knew Cassidy. She'd said she loved him, and he knew that, to her, that meant more than just words.
"My dad and brothers," she said, looking down at the table, the joy she'd exhibited a moment earlier totally extinguished.
"I meant a boyfriend," he said.
"Yeah, right. I'm pregnant out to here with your baby, why the heck would I be dating someone else?" she said, looking up at him with those clear brown eyes of hers.
"How long are we going to be dealing with the sarcasm? I didn't know you were pregnant," he said.
"I didn't think you'd care."
"Well, I do. So you're not dating?" he asked one more time. He couldn't help the rush of satisfaction that swamped him when he realized she'd been alone for the months they'd been apart.
"No. It didn't seem fair to get involved with another man right now. What about you, are you dating anyone?"
"Would I be here if I was?" he asked. The truth was he'd buried himself even more in work after they'd parted. That was one reason he'd had an edge over his cousin Sam, his competition for the CEO position. Sam had been married for more than ten years now and divided his time between the office and home. Then their grandfather's will had evened things up between them.
"Why are you here?" Cassidy asked.
He scratched the back of his neck. He knew what to say, but as he looked at her he began to calculate the consequences of what he was about to do. Lying to Cassidy wasn't something he did lightly. But if he told her the truth-that thanks to his grandfather's will, to take over as CEO of Tolley-Patterson, he needed to be married and have a child within a year as well as win the vote of the board-she'd tell him to hit the road.
"Donovan?"
"I missed you, Cassidy."
"I've been right here," she said.
"I wasn't sure you'd take me back."
"You want to date again?" she asked. "Once the baby is born that will be difficult."
"I don't want to date you, I want to marry you. The last eight months have made me realize how much I want you as my wife. I came here today prepared to tell you I've changed my mind about having a family."
He heard her breath catch in her throat and saw a sheen of tears in her eyes.
He pushed back from the table, standing up and walking over to her chair. He pulled it away from the table and turned her to face him. She looked up at him.
He leaned down so that their lips were almost touching. Framing her face with his hands, he suddenly knew that he really didn't want to screw this up. And not just because he wanted to beat Sam. He wanted to do this right because Cassidy was the key to a life that he'd never realized he might want until this moment.
"I want to marry you, Cassidy Franzone. I want to be a father to our child and have that family you dreamed we'd have together."
With Donovan so close to her, all Cassidy really wanted to do was kiss him and wrap her arms around him, feel his arms around her and maybe rest her head against his chest for a while. It was what she woke up in the middle of the night longing for, that touch of his.
But Donovan had been so adamant that he wasn't going to have a family, and this change, though eight months in the making, was drastic for him.
"Why? What made you change your mind?"
"I missed you," he said.
But he'd said that before. And missing her wasn't an explanation of why he'd changed his feelings about kids.
"That's not why you suddenly want a family." She was afraid to trust the sudden turnaround in his attitude.
He moved and dropped his hands from her face as he stood up. He grabbed his beer from the table and paced to the railing of the porch. Leaning one hip on the wooden railing, he tipped his head back and drained the bottle.
"What do you want me to say, Cassidy?"
She had no idea. Eight months ago when he'd proposed to her, she'd suspected she was pregnant-and she'd walked away when he'd made his opinion on kids and family clear. She'd walked away, because she knew that Donovan was the type of man who'd marry a woman he'd gotten pregnant-and that wasn't why she wanted to be married. She needed Donovan to marry her because he was in love with her. Because he couldn't live without her the way she couldn't live without him.