But Buck deserves more than a woman who wants him for what he can provide. And after a few encounters with him – not even equaling a day – can he really say I love him, that I want to marry him?
Deep in my belly I know my answer. Know what I want to give in to, over to. What I want to accept as my own.
But I also know that I am saddling Buck with a lifetime of responsibilities he never asked for.
I dry my hands on the towel, willing these babies to stay put until all my questions can be laid to rest.
Stepping out in the living room, I’m greeted by a tattooed, dark haired, bearded man; dark where Buck is light. And the woman with him is tiny, big doe eyes, blonde hair, and a curvy little body. In her arms a fussing baby.
And in Jaxon’s arms is another squirrelly boy.
And in Buck’s there is a third.
My eyes go round as saucers.
“That’s a lot of babies,” I say, piecing the scene all together. Jaxon and Harper have triplets ... and I thought I had big, terrifying news.
“Yeah,” Harper says, offering her hand. I shake it, and she smiles warmly. “They’re a handful, but we’re pretty lucky, I think.” She looks over at her husband, and a warmth that is palpable passes between them.
“Heard you are pretty lucky yourself, Rosie,” Jaxon says. “Buck, here, told us how you came to be here this morning. Sounds like you’ve had quite the trip from Spokane.”
I swallow, overwhelmed with so many people.
Running my hand over my belly, I look at Buck.
“Harper, Jaxon, this is Rosie,” he says, stepping up for me. The mother of my child.”
My mouth opens. I need to tell him. Clearly a bunch of babies aren’t off-putting. Truth be told, he looks the most relaxed out of the bunch. Granted, he was just fucked up and down by me – compared to possibly sleep-deprived parents of triplet boys.
“And these guys are Cedar, Alder, and Spruce,” Harper says. “And looks like you, my dear, are about to pop one out yourself.”
“Right. Pop.” I wince, suddenly freaking out about what I’ve gotten myself into.
“You okay?” Harper asks. When I nod, she continues, “You know, the day after you two met, Buck came over for dinner, and this boy was a goner.” She smiles, looking between Buck and me. “You must be a good woman to have captured Buck’s heart. He may look like a softy, but there is something special about a man who grew up going on family camping trips, who bought our boys their first fishing poles for their first birthdays.”
She shakes her head, saying, “Granted, they’re going to need to master walking first,” she says, laughing, waving her free hand. “What I mean is, Buck is ready, and looks like you’re too.” She looks at my belly, her face bright. “Is it terribly awkward if I rub your belly?” she asks, setting her son down on the hardwood floor.
I nod, not knowing what else to say to this sweetheart.
“Jesus Christ, woman,” Jax laughs. “I know you, honey, and the moment you feel the baby kick you’re gonna be begging for another.”
“Another?” Her mouth drops open as she pats my belly. “I think three is plenty for me, for now.”
And in that moment I feel like Harper and I could be friends. Maybe because she is so freaking genuine, gentle. Good in the way Buck is good.
Jaxon though, he looks rough, his arms lined in tattoos, his eyes darker. I can see that Harper is the light in his world.
I wonder if Buck can be that for me.
Take away all the horrible memories of my past – a lonely childhood, a family that never treated me like family. No one ever willing to take me under their wings.
Harper’s hand is still on my belly, and her hand turns to my side, her brow furrows.
“Is something wrong?” Buck asks, immediately detecting Harper’s discovery.
“Not wrong, but Rosie, have you been to the doctor?” she asks me.
I swallow, feeling hot all of a sudden. Very. Hot.
“Yes, I mean, I regularly saw a family doctor.”
“And there was nothing irregular that was ever brought up at those visits?”
“Irregular?” Buck asks.
“Um.” I shake my head.
“What is it, Harper, you’re scaring the girl,” Jaxon says, stepping closer to pull his wife away.
She shakes her head though, and I look around the room again, counting three babies, and realizing they were all in her belly not so long ago.
Buck may not know the difference between one baby or two or three.
But Harper does.
“Rosie,” she says, covering her mouth. “I’m pretty sure there’s more than one baby in there.”
Buck’s eyes meet mine, and I grimace, wishing I’d told him myself.