BOUNDARY(34)

"Yeah. I had better send her an apology. She . . . it was just a really, really bad time to call."



"A bad time to call? Come on, A.J."



"You know what she called about?"



"Well, of course. She's made the cut to be on Nike's crew. It's not guaranteed yet, but things are looking much better than she ever—"



"I've been grounded."



It took a moment for Helen to grasp what A.J. meant. "Grounded? I didn't . . . Oh, God. You found out today?"



The answer was almost a whisper. "Yeah. Joe managed to talk me out of a major tantrum, so I went out to get myself new shades, and while I'm doing that Jackie calls me out of the blue."



"Oh, A.J." She didn't honestly know what to say. What could she say?



"I figured you might understand better than anyone."



"Huh? I'm not one of you space cases."



"No," A.J. conceded. "But you've had your career take a down turn because you did something you knew was dangerous to it, even though you really didn't have a choice."



"I thought . . . Joe called me last week. He told me your recovery was going very well, according to the doctors."



"Yeah, I guess. The way the doctors look at it, which isn't the way I do. I'm not blaming them, you understand. They did what they could. Twenty years ago I'd have lost a lot more function, and fifty years ago they'd have written me off, even if I'd lived to get out of the fire. I'm a little better than eighty percent; but in space, they're looking for a hundred and ten percent, you know?"



"Even so, I can't believe they've taken you off the list entirely!"



"Well . . . no. But I'm down around where Joe was. Oh, and just by the way, Joe's now on the list for Ares."



No wonder he hadn't been able to handle Jackie's call! His two best friends got the nod just as he got the boot, and then. . .



"I'll have to congratulate him. But. . . that must hurt."



"A lot." The roughness in his voice became apparent as he tried to control it. "More than I told Joe, though I know he knows me enough to know . . . does that make sense? And I feel like such a complete and utter dickhead, Doc. I shouldn't be mad at Joe, it's not his fault, and it's not Jackie's. There's no one to blame except a faulty valve that happened to blow a few months back. But I'm still mad at him. I'm so fu—frigging mad that I could punch him out, and all the damn doctors, and I'd take a swing at Jackie if she wasn't a girl. Because, dammit, it's my dream. Mine."



"I know," she said softly.



"And here I am, crying to you. I sorta cried in front of Joe before, but I can't really do that. And my folks, well . . ."



He didn't finish, but she already knew that A.J.'s parents had been killed in an auto accident several years earlier. "So I guess you get the really short end of the stick. First Jackie gets to tell you what a jerk I am, and then I get to tell you in person."



"Why me?"



A.J. wiped his eyes—his image had blurred for a moment and then suddenly refocused, this time clearly coming from a camera that was actually transmitting his real picture—and sagged back into a couch visible behind him.



"Why? I guess. . . Because you're outside of it all, Doc. I know you, and you know all of us, but you're not in the space race any more than I was in the game with you bonediggers. You're not competing with us."



"I see. Well, I'm honored, I guess."



A.J. managed a weak chuckle. "I also knew I would get straight talk from you. But you wouldn't make fun of me, either, because you know what this means."



"People don't make fun of you, A.J."



"How very little you know. Maybe not now, but if you have it happen enough when you're younger . . . "



"True, true," she admitted. "I managed to avoid most of that, but I can't deny I've seen enough of it."



She studied A.J. for a while in silence. "So what are you going to do?"



"Well, my job. What else? I'm still going to be running the Faeries for NASA, and I've got buttloads of other sensor work to do. But if I'm not going, I suppose I'll have more free time. . . "



"Maybe you can finally finish up that dissertation and be Dr. Baker."



There it was again, that tiny little twitch. "Nah, I don't think so. I don't really need it, with my rep. I've got other things to do."



"Okay, A.J., give. What's with you and the title 'Doctor'?"



To her surprise, A.J. blushed. "That's my deepest and darkest secret. Joe knows it, but he was sworn to solemn secrecy."



"So . . . ?"