"You all right?" Thomas asked putting his hand on her elbow. He glanced at the smoking man, but didn't seem to mind him.
"Yeah," she said. "I just got lost in thoughts."
"Only good ones, I hope," he said with a smile.
She gave him a weak smile, and nodded. But her heart wasn't in it anymore. She wanted to be home with Cate. She wanted to be back in the safety and security of the Hawks' mansion, protected by thick windows and a security system.
He drove her home, keeping up polite but empty conversation as they drove. When they reached her house he parked in front of the mansion and got out of the car and walked around to open her door. Marie smiled and stepped out and looked up at the handsome man.
"I had a very good time tonight," he said.
"Me, too," Marie replied, but it felt like a bit of the lie. The smoking man had ruined it. He had made her nervous. Thomas leaned forward and kissed her and she kissed him back. But there was no tingle at the base of her spine, no goose bumps. Her heart wasn't racing.
He broke the kiss and smiled at her and she kept smiling back at him as he walked her to her door. Once inside, she let the smile fall. There was nothing wrong with Thomas. It would be easier if there were. He was nice enough. But there was no spark. Slowly she walked up the stairs to her apartment where she gratefully took off her high heels and her tight dress. She took her makeup and crawled into bed alone.
She turned on her side and listened the quiet night around her. She was dating. She was an actual person who went on dates. She hadn't really like this date. But she didn't quite feel like she was pretending anymore. She had been on a date and been aware enough to know that the guy wasn't for her. But was that the right thing to do? He was nice enough, but she wasn't dying to see him again. She didn't feel anything for him. With a sigh she turned on her back and stared at the ceiling as she wondered if she would ever know what the right thing to do was.
Chapter Twenty-Two
He had just finished his massage. He had worked hard. He had pushed himself and now he felt drained and exhausted. He was back to his old form. He had his energy back. His sluggishness was gone. His apathy replaced with energy. It wasn't because he had forgotten about Marie; it was because he was going for it. Maybe his mother was right. Maybe he could have the girl and win the fight.
Something in him changed. He had never wanted anyone like this before. He had never let anyone get inside his head until Marie. It was why he had pushed her away. She was too tempting. But why couldn't he give into this temptation. Maybe his mother was right, maybe it would make him stronger.
She was scheduled to come in at four. That was when Axel got his massage. He didn't change his daily routine at all. While his muscles were worked on he thought about Marie out in the gym. Hitting the bag, stretching forward, her clothes stretching tight against her. Then he had to stop thinking about that and start thinking about something else before the massage got weird.
Finally, he was done and he walked out onto the floor in time to see Marie bend over into a long stretch. He strolled over to where she was. In the mirror's reflection Lori could see him walking towards them. They made eye contact in the mirror and she gave him an inquisitive gaze.
Marie stood up and glanced at his reflection in the mirror before turning around to greet him. Her face was red and there was sweat on her chests and shoulders. She placed her hands on her hips and gave him a dismissive look.
"How's Lori been treating you?" he asked, trying to sound casual.
"She's great," Marie said with a smile towards the other woman.
Axel nodded and said. "She's one of our best," and then a silence fell around them. "Let me walk you out," Axel said nodding his head towards the door. Lori gave him a knowing look, but still backed off and gave the two of them some space.
"Sure," Marie said with a shrug. She took her time grabbing her things and packing her bag. She even refilled her water bottle before finally joining him.
The waiting made him nervous. His stomach was in knots. He was not this kind of guy. He didn't care about women like this.
They walked up the stairs and through the gym without Axel saying a word. It wasn't until they were outside on the sidewalk that he finally spoke. "I'm glad you're still coming to the trainings. I would feel bad if you quit because of me...because of what happened between us."
"Yeah," she said, looking up at him. She was squinting in the bright sunlight. Her messy hair was framing her face. He wanted to bury his hands in it and kiss her, but he forced them to stay at his side. "That was a little awkward."
"I handled it badly. I don't know why I left like that. I should have stayed with you. I've regretted it ever since then and I just wanted to apologize, I guess."
"Oh," she wasn't looking at him. She was staring at the ground. He waited. He didn't speak or try to fill the silence. He knew she had something to say and he was willing to wait as long as it took. "It was pretty crappy," she agreed, finally looking up at him.
Axel was grateful there weren't tears. He could never handle a woman crying. Anytime it happened he felt an immediate urge to make it stop any way he could. He never wanted to see her cry. But she looked all right, a little uncomfortable, maybe. But uncomfortable he could deal with.
"Maybe I could take you out for real … " he said.
She looked up at him in surprise and he could see the brief splash of pleasure that crossed her face. "That would be great," she said letting the smile linger on her lips.
"I would ask you to do something this weekend, but I know you have the big benefit. In fact, I'll see you there."
"You have tickets?" Marie demanded.
"My mother is in the Historical Society, so we are both going."
"I'm going to get to meet your mom?" she asked elongated the word mom like they were a couple of teenagers ragging on their parents.
"Yes, she a nice sweet old lady, so you better behave yourself."
"I know how to be appropriate," she teased. "You, on the other hand, are the real troublemaker."
"Yeah," he agreed. "Maybe I am."
A car drove past them slowly and he watched as Maria scowled after it passed. "Someone you know?" Axel asked.
"No," she said with a shake of her head, but as always she stopped short of any real answers. It was always vague with Marie. There were very few proper nouns in her past. Right now all he knew was that she was from Arizona, everything else was just conjecture. But then she would do something like this and he knew there was something in her backstory she wasn't telling him.
"How about we go out after the benefit, next weekend?"
"Sounds good," Marie said.
"Your number is on your paperwork on the gym. Unless you gave us a fake?"
"No, it's real," she said.
He wanted to say something clever, but nothing came to mind. He didn't want her to leave just yet. He had so much he wanted to say to her, but he didn't know the right words. He wanted to tell her how he couldn't stop thinking about her, how he had been wrecked without her, but instead her let her walk away.
He wanted to warn her about Thomas Middlemarch. But then she would know that he had been gossiping about her. He needed to find the right time to tell her. Maybe at the benefit it would come up and he could explain all he new about Thomas. Would she listen, though? Marie was proving to be tougher than he could have imagined. She might not believe him when he told her about Thomas' little gambling habit.
At least he would have a chance to spend some time with her away from the gym. He was actually looking forward to the benefit. He could never remember caring about history in any way ever before. But here he was, getting ready to go to the nerdiest party he had ever heard of. Walking back into the gym he saw Hayden standing behind the desk with his arms crossed.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm asking Marie out," Axel said simply.
"You can't do that during training," Hayden huffed.
"We made that rule and we can break it. Look, I can date this girl and train at the same time. I'm sure of it."
"You're gonna mess with our system now, Axel? We've perfected it and you just want to throw all that away? Let me remind you about Olivia. Remember her? You two started dating just before the State Competition, you had a fight before the match, and you were a mess. It was your worst fight ever."
"I was younger then. I've grown up. I can handle it now." Axel said. Hayden opened his mouth to argue, but Axel cut him off. "I'm the one who goes in the ring. I'm the one who does the fighting. I get to decide. End of discussion."