He walked down the block to the gym. The bright sun was burning his eyes. His head ached. He wanted to turn around and crawl back into bed. Who was this man? It certainly wasn't Axel Connelly. Axel worked hard all day every day. He hadn't become a champion by being whiny and lazy, so why couldn't he pull himself out of this?
***
"What is wrong with you?" Hayden demanded as Axel finally walked into the room. "Jamal said you were screaming at him about towels yesterday and now you're over an hour late for your training? Are you sick or something?"
"No, I'm just a little out of it," Axel said shaking his head. He certainly wasn't going to tell Hayden about Marie. He knew the other man would lecture him about it and, even worse, he would be right. Axel's head was a mess and it was all because of a girl.
"Well, let's get to work," Hayden said leading the way down the stairs. Axel followed him, hoping the hard work would pull him from his dour mood. He sat down at the weight bench as Hayden piled ninety pounds onto the bar. Axel lay down and reached up, but his arms were weak. They folded under the weight and he strained to lift the bar off his chest. He barely finished with one rep before he needed a break.
It didn't get better. The weights were heavy, his arms were weak, his mood was foul. Everything annoyed him. He lost two sparring matches in the ring and, what was worse, he didn't really care. He barely had the energy to lift his feet off the ground, let alone raise his hands for a punch.
"All right enough," Hayden said as Axel slumped in the corner of the ring. "I'm calling it." Axel's sparring partner gave him a look of disgust and then walked out of the ring leaving the two men alone. Axel could barely raise his head to look at the other man. "What is wrong with you?" Hayden demanded again.
Axel opened his mouth, but said nothing. He didn't want to tell Hayden about Marie. It wasn't something he wanted turned into idle gossip. Besides, he knew he would get a lecture from Hayden, a long one, and he wasn't in the mood. He had fucked up and he knew it. He didn't need to be reminded of it. He rested his head in his hands and said, "Maybe I'm coming down with something."
"No, you aren't. The last time you were sick you trained until you literally passed out on the mat. You're not sick. You're sulking. Why?"
Axel said nothing. His head felt stuffed with cotton, his limbs were tired. All of this over a woman. How had he let this happen? The biggest fight of his career so far was only a few weeks away and he was ruining his chances for a win. What was worse, he didn't even know why. He didn't know anything about Marie DeSantos; he had never spent time with her outside of his gym, so why was she so deep in his head? Why couldn't he stop thinking about her?
"You're not going to answer me?" Hayden demanded. "Since when do you not tell me things? Since when do we keep secrets from each other? We are a team. We're in this together. Whatever is bothering you is bothering me, too, so why don't you tell me what it is?"
"It's just something personal," Axel said. "Give me a day, I'll get my head together."
"A day! You think we have a day to waste right now? The fight is coming, Axel. They aren't going to move the date just because you're in a bad mood. That's not how it works and you know it. You need to get ready for the fight. You need to get your head right. There's a lot riding on this. You can't hang me out to dry."
"I'm not hanging you out to dry and I'll be ready for the fight. I promise. I just need a day, or two, to work some things out."
"Things you won't tell me about?"
"It's not like that. It's not a big deal and I'm handling it."
"We never used to keep secrets from each other. Or at least, I've never kept any from you. I thought that went both ways."
Axel sighed. This was exactly what he had wanted to avoid. He stood up angrily and stormed out the ring. He didn't need this. He was in charge. He was the boss. He was the one who went into the ring. He was the one who gave the punches and took the hits. He was in charge. Not Hayden.
"Where are you going?" Hayden demanded as Axel headed for the steps. "We're not done here yet!"
"I'm getting some air," Axel yelled back. He slammed the door to the boxing gym and stalked across the first floor. People gave him a wide berth, averting their eyes and moving aside as he walked. Without stopping he ripped open the door the gym and stood outside.
He had no idea what to do or where to go. He had never felt like this before. He had never had a problem he didn't know how to solve. He was angry at how he had treated Marie. He regretted everything he had done, now the question was left to him: what should he do now?
Chapter Seventeen
Lights, tablecloths, name cards, outfits, decorations, more lights, the list of things needed for the fundraising dinner was endless. In the basement of the mansion Marie tore through boxes finding things other caretakers had left behind. She wanted the party to be affordable and she was trying to buy as little as possible.
Cate bounded around her as she pulled out another string of lights and added them to her bounty. She was throwing herself into her work. She was not going to waste another tear on Axel Connelly and, to her surprise, her strategy was working. Her energy had returned; her tears had stopped. She felt better and she was determined to keep her good mood going as long as she could.
"I want ice cream," Cate said out of nowhere, which was pretty typical for a five-year-old.
"Mommy's working sweetheart," Marie said, half buried in a box of old Christmas decorations. With a huff Cate threw herself down on an old couch and Marie winced as she watched the dust bounce up and gather on her daughter. There would need to be a bath tonight.
"Hello, are you down there?" The sound of Ingrid's voice echoed around the cement-lined basement.
"Yes!" Cate yelled jumping off the couch and running over to Ingrid and leaping into the older woman's arms.
"Find anything good?" Ingrid asked as she surveyed Marie's pile of treasures.
"Yeah, some good stuff. A lot of lights, which is one more thing we don't have to buy," Marie said wiping some sweat from her forehead as she stood up and stretched her back.
"Well, budget is a little less of a concern because, so far, we have sold an extra twenty-five tickets!" Ingrid said with a smile as she kissed Cate on the cheek. "If we keep this up we'll have to start turning people away. Or maybe we can have more than one fundraiser a year."
"One thing at a time. Let's see how this party goes before we move on to the next one," Marie countered.
She turned her attention to a box labeled "Party 1989" and pulled out a legion of hideous brown table clothes. "We really need to clean this basement out," Marie said as she found a broken beta-max player in the box, as well.
"One thing at a time," Ingrid answered. Then she turned to Cate was sitting in her arms and said, "Are you working really hard with your mommy?"
"Yes and I'm hungry," Cate said flopping back dramatically in Ingrid's arm.
"And what does this tiny, hungry worker want?"
"Ice cream!" Cate cried out.
"Let me buy this little handworker ice cream," Ingrid said putting on a pout that matched Cate's as they stared at Marie.
"All right, go ahead. I'm going to stay here and keep working."
"Don't work too hard," Ingrid said as she and Cate headed upstairs. Marie stood alone in the center of the basement. Dust moats illuminated by bare light bulbs hanging from the ceiling flew in the air around her. She stretched her neck and got to work on a new box.
They had sold an extra twenty-five tickets; they might add a second benefit. There was a chance she might actually be good at this. She had been told how useless she was so many times and now someone was telling her something else. It felt amazing. It made all the hard work worth it. It helped her forget about her utter humiliation at the hands of Axel Connelly.
She wasn't letting her little dalliance with Axel ruin everything she was building for herself. A few days had passed and a lot of the pain had passed in that time. She felt better, stronger, less afraid of what had happened. She understood now that a hookup wasn't what she wanted, not now at least. She wanted a relationship; she wanted love and someone she could trust. She knew that now and that was all that mattered.
The sex had been amazing, though. She kept thinking about his hands on her and the way his lips and tongue had moved together. She was embarrassed to admit this even to herself, but in all of their time together, Austin had never given her an orgasm. He never ever tried. He told her women didn't enjoy sex. To him, it was a fact of life and something he never questioned.