Arkim was cold. All over. He hated his father. He'd never known his mother. He'd never known love. What he felt for Sylvie was just too...overwhelming.
'Of course.'
He wasn't even aware that he'd spoken. Cold was good. This was what he wanted. He didn't want volatility. Messy passion. Emotions.
'Thank you. Goodbye, Arkim.' She opened the door, and just before she stepped through she said huskily,'Take care of yourself.'
After she'd gone Arkim was dimly aware of something warm on his toes, and he looked down stupidly to see Omar, tail wagging, making a small pitiful sound. He bent down and scooped him up against his chest, then went into the living room and sat on the couch, where the puppy settled trustingly into his lap.
He could smell Sylvie's delicate scent on the air. And something else. Sex. He realised that this was where he'd had her...only hours before. Every time he'd lost himself inside her it had felt as if another part of his soul was being altered.
He clenched his jaw so hard it hurt. Pain was good. The pain reminded him that he craved order and respectability above all. He didn't need his soul to be altered.
Sylvie Devereux had been a brief and torrid interlude in his life and now he was moving on. For good.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
A week later-L'Amour revue, final dress rehearsal...
'SYLVIE! HURRY UP! You're next.'
Sylvie took a deep breath, grabbed her prop sword, and made her way to the spotlit stage. The mood was controlled chaos. The new show was opening in a few hours and they still had lots to prepare. She was in a more elaborate version of the belly dance outfit that she'd worn for Arkim in Al-Hibiz, and the reminder was jarring.
When she got on stage the music started almost at once, so she had to jump straight into the routine. She wasn't overly worried about how precise her movements were because this rehearsal was really for the technical team, to make sure that all the timings for cues and lights and so on were lined up properly.
She had taken off her veil and head-covering and pushed her sword away, ready to move into the second part of the dance, when a loud 'Stop!' sounded in the dark theatre.
Sylvie's heart stuttered, but she told herself she was imagining that she knew the voice. She was on her feet now and she kept going. It was probably just one of the stage hands.
Suddenly the music stopped.
She whirled around to hear some kind of a scuffle going on in the darkness backstage, and then a man walked out onto the stage from behind the curtains. Even though he was in the shadow of the lights she knew it was Arkim, taller and broader than everyone else.
He was holding something that looked like a vital piece of audio equipment. Sure enough, he was quickly followed by an irate sound engineer, spluttering and gesticulating furiously, grabbing back his piece of equipment and disappearing again.
Sylvie wasn't sure she wasn't dreaming.'Arkim...?'
He stepped forward into the spotlight. He wasn't a mirage. And then she became aware of the fact that they had an audience of crew and other dancers.
'What the hell are you doing? We're in the middle of rehearsals-you can't be here,' she hissed at him. But her mind leapt to the million and one possibilities of why he might be there anyway.
She noticed that the swelling on his eye had gone down, to be replaced by a dark bruise. He looked as if he'd just come from a brawl in an alley.
Her fault.
And, adding to her sense of everything being unreal, he was wearing faded worn denims and a close-fitting T-shirt, more casual than she'd ever seen him. It was almost as shocking as the time when she'd seen him naked in the pool at the oasis. His hair was messy and his overall demeanour was edgy and dangerous. He looked a million miles removed from the man she'd first seen in her father's house in his three-piece suit, so controlled. So disdainful.
'Arkim-'
But he cut her off, saying baldly,'I don't want you to strip. I don't want anyone else to see you.'
Shock reverberated through her. And something scarily like euphoria. But just as quickly she feared that she was reading this all wrong.
She put her hands on her hips, anger flaring.'It's okay for you to see me, but you're so controlling and possessive that you can't bear the thought that your ex-property might become a little more public?'
He stepped closer, the inevitable electricity sparking between them. 'No,' he growled.'I don't want anyone to see you because you're mine.'
Sylvie glared up at him.'Do I need to remind you that you've let me go-twice?' The knowledge of her own weakness around him and the realisation that he'd never choose her to be a permanent part of his life made her say frigidly,'What is it, Arkim? You're so concerned with your precious reputation that you're afraid my debauched lifestyle will come back to haunt you?'
A muscle in his jaw pulsed.'No, dammit. I don't want anyone else to see what's mine.'
Emotion made Sylvie's chest ache. This man had started out rejecting her before he'd even known her, and even after getting to know her-intimately-he'd still ultimately rejected her. He was just here beating his chest because he couldn't bear the thought of sharing her.
'But I'm not yours. You let me go.'
They were so close now they were almost touching. Sylvie was unaware of anything but the man in front of her and those deep, dark eyes. Eyes that could look so cold and dead, but which she knew could turn her heart upside down and inside out.
'I don't want you to go. I want you to stay.'
Hating the little tremor of emotion that made her heart jump with irrational hope, Sylvie threw out a hand.'We've had this conversation. For how long? Another two weeks? A month? And then you'll move on with your perfect respectable life and you'll meet some perfect respectable woman and you'll marry her-like you wanted to marry Sophie because she was so perfect for you.'
'You are perfect for me.'
Sylvie's mouth was still open. She shut it abruptly, aghast at everything that had tumbled out. And had he just said...?
'What did you say?'
'I said that you are perfect for me. I don't want anyone else.'
His words impacted like a sledgehammer, knocking her to pieces. And even though she'd registered them she shook her head, took a step back. It wasn't hard to envisage being rejected again, when Arkim woke up one morning and realised she wasn't perfect for him, wasn't really suitable for the life he wanted, and this time his rejection would be comprehensive and fatal. She wouldn't recover. And the worst of it was she knew why it was so important to him...she wanted him to be happy.
'This is just lust talking,' she said.
Before Sylvie could react Arkim had closed the distance between them and cupped her face in his hands. He blotted out the world when he lowered his mouth to hers. Sylvie might have expected devastation, bruising passion...but his kiss was like a kind of benediction. A kiss that was gentle and restrained, but with the unmistakable promise of more.
And, damn him, she couldn't help but respond. A sob of reaction was working its way up her throat, making her grab his T-shirt in order to stay standing. She just wasn't able to defend herself. The last week had been torture.
Eventually Arkim pulled back, his eyes glittering down into hers. Sylvie felt exposed...vulnerable.
'I know what I want and I want you.'
I want. Not I love. And Sylvie needed love. After feeling so bruised all her life from her father's rejection, she couldn't go through that with someone else. Better to be the rejecter. Arkim didn't want her. Not really. No matter what he said or how he kissed her.
She pulled free.'It wasn't enough of a wake-up call that you got punched in the face? Are you so blinded that you've forgotten what I do? What I am? Wherever we go there's always going to be a risk that someone will recognise me...' She crossed her fingers behind her back at the white lie she was about to tell.'And especially when I become famous for taking my clothes off completely. I won't be one of the less risqué acts any more, Arkim. Everyone will know what I look like naked.'
Sylvie could see him pale slightly under the olive tones of his skin. His face was starker, leaner than she'd ever seen it. As if he'd lost weight in the space of a week.
'If that's what you really want to do I won't pretend that I'll like it, but I'll support you.'
Sylvie reeled. Her jaw dropped. Eventually she got out,'You're saying you'd accept me, no matter what?' She couldn't believe it for a second. Because if she did... Her heart contracted painfully.
She shook her head.'This is not you talking... This is lust...desire. And once it's gone, Arkim-' Her voice broke traitorously.'I won't let you send me away again when you realise that I'm not perfect after all...because I'm a constant reminder of some weakness you feel, of your life with your father.'