As his chest rose and fell evenly she envied him his peace, when her body and brain felt as if they were tying themselves into a million knots. Knowing she wouldn't rest, Sylvie slipped out of bed and got dressed, going into the living room.
She sat cross-legged on the couch and Omar jumped up into her lap. As she petted him absently and looked into the muted darkness she knew that she had no choice but to talk to Arkim. And after what had happened this evening she knew that he would have no hesitation in letting her go. For good, this time.
* * *
Dawn was breaking outside when Arkim woke. His head was throbbing and he wondered why-until he lifted a hand and winced when it came into contact with his black eye.
Sylvie. Anger jerked him fully awake in an instant. The memory of those men...eating her up with their eyes. And one of them had touched her. He'd seen it. His hands curled into fists just from thinking about it, remembering, his blood pressure increasing.
No woman had ever roused Arkim to the point of wanting to do violence on her behalf. But he'd been ready to take on all those men. His anger had been volcanic. It was something he hadn't felt in a long time...since the day that woman had controlled him for her own amusement and his father had thrown him out like unwanted baggage.
Sylvie. Arkim looked around. He was alone in the room...no sounds were coming from the bathroom. He wanted her even now, even after making love to her like some kind of feral youth on the couch earlier. Damn her. Would he ever not want her?
Not wanting to investigate the way his gut clenched at that prospect, Arkim got out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats, feeling as if he'd done about ten rounds in a boxing ring. He frowned as he padded through the apartment, hearing nothing but silence. Not even Omar.
He checked all the rooms and came to the living room last-and finally he saw her. She was standing with her back to the door, looking out of the window. He noticed that she was dressed in jeans and a shirt. There was something tense about the lines of her body that made him stay where he was.
'You're dressed.'
The lines of Sylvie's body got tenser. She turned around slowly. Her hair was pulled into a low bun at the back of her head. She confounded him-she could go from looking like the sexiest movie star goddess to something like this, much more simple and plain, and yet his body reacted the same way every time.
He leaned against the door and crossed his arms, grateful for the fact that his sweats were loose. His susceptibility to this woman was something that still made him feel uncomfortable. Exposed.
Sylvie's arms were crossed too.'There was something I wanted to tell you earlier, but I never got a chance.'
Feeling a flutter of panic, and not liking it, Arkim said,'Is it so important it can't wait till later?' He stood up straight and held out a hand.'Come back to bed...it's too early for talk.'
Sylvie smiled, but it was touched with something Arkim hadn't seen in some time. Cynicism.
'No, it can't wait...'
Arkim went over to the drinks cabinet and helped himself to a shot of brandy. He saluted Sylvie.'Medicinal purposes.'
She paled at that, and Arkim paused with the glass halfway to his mouth.'What is it?'
She looked at him, that blue-green gaze unnervingly direct.'Pierre has offered me a bigger role in the show.'
The tight ball in Arkim's gut seemed to ease. That was it?'That sounds good.' So why did she look so serious?
'It is good... But if I accept it I'll have to take off my clothes for the first time...like the other girls. Pierre has never pressured me about this before... I told you, he's been like a father to me. But he says now that if I want to stay I have to start delivering a fuller performance.'
For a second Arkim just heard a roaring in his ears. Images rushed through his head: Sylvie's pale breasts bared for thousands of people to see... Her perfect body... No wonder her boss wanted to exploit her.
And those men last night...they would look at her-every night if they wished. And taunt Arkim with the knowledge that they'd seen as much of his lover as he had.
He realised his hand had tightened so much around the glass that he risked breaking it. He forced himself to relax, to focus.
Sylvie continued.'The truth is that I don't know if I should do it or not. I've been thinking...about doing something else.'
Relief vied with something much darker inside Arkim. Sylvie was looking at him far too carefully. As if his response mattered. As if she wanted him to tell her what to do.
The sheer volatility of his emotions was like acid in his stomach, inhibiting his response. If he told Sylvie he cared what she did she would have control over him...she would know his vulnerability. It would make a statement about what was happening here, would demonstrate a possessiveness of her that had already earned him a black eye. In public. In front of his peers.
He went cold-because he hadn't even contemplated that side of it yet.
He'd just weathered one public scandal...was he now in danger of being dragged into another one?
It was too much. Too reminiscent of that day when he'd lost his innocence and his self-respect. When he'd been found, literally, with his pants down and that woman's mouth around his- He blanked the poisonous memory. He wasn't going back there for anyone.
Carefully, he took a sip of his drink. He didn't even feel the burn. His voice when he spoke was cool. Calm. Belying the tumult underneath. 'I don't really know what you want me to say. It's your life, Sylvie. You should do whatever you think is best for you.'
She looked at him for a long moment, but it was a kind of dead-eyed stare. She was so pale that Arkim almost made a move towards her, but then she seemed to break out of her trance-like state and uncrossed her arms, her gaze narrowed.
'Yes, it is my life, and I do know what's best for me. Which is why I'm going to leave now.'
Arkim frowned.'Leave...?'
Sylvie glanced down to where Omar was sitting at her feet, looking up at her adoringly, his tongue hanging out. But she didn't bend down to pick him up. Arkim saw her hands form fists, as if to stop herself.
She looked back at him, her jaw tight.'Yes, leave. The new show opens in a week and there's a huge PR campaign starting tomorrow. In light of what happened last night I think it's best if we call it quits now.' Her chin lifted.'I would prefer not to be responsible for any further public incidents, and when the new show takes off... Well, it's only more likely to happen.'
Something hard and dark and cold settled into Arkim's belly.'So you're going to do it, then? Take Pierre up on his offer?'
Her face was like a pale smooth mask. She shrugged lightly.'It's all I've ever known. They're my family... I'd be a fool not to want to progress in one of the most famous shows in the world.'
'By taking off your clothes?' Arkim almost spat the words.
Sylvie's gaze sparked.'What's it to you? I have to worry about my career, Arkim. If I don't take this opportunity now there's a million girls coming up behind me who'll do the job.'
Arkim had to grit his jaw. He wanted to say, What about the way you were dancing that day when I found you again?
She had been so passionate and beautiful. But that wasn't really her, was it? If she was prepared to do this? Take the last step over the line...? Something within Arkim snapped and the words spilled out before he could stop them.'What if I asked you to stay?'
A flare of colour came into Sylvie's cheeks.'How long for? Another week? A month? Two months? We both know what this is...impermanent. Unless...'
Unless it's more.
The implication of her unfinished sentence made Arkim say harshly,'Unless it's nothing.'
'It's nothing, then,' said Sylvie faintly.
She walked over and picked up her bag and a jacket, shrugging into it in jerky movements. She was avoiding Arkim's eye as she walked to the other side of the room, where he saw that a larger bag was waiting. So she'd packed already. Because she'd known how he would react? The knowledge sent a sharp pain through his chest.
She turned around to face him, looking very petite and young. Delicate. He thought of her just a couple of hours ago, astride him, rocking her body against his. She'd been like a fearsome warrior, claiming her pleasure with a ferocity matched only by Arkim's desire to give it to her.
The image was so vivid that it took him a second to realise she'd gone.
No.
He put down the glass, uncaring that it fell to the floor, spilling dark golden liquid. When he got to the hall, he saw her holding Omar close, burying her face in his body before putting him down carefully. Something was constricting Arkim, like a band around his chest.
She didn't face him. She put her hand on the knob of the door and said tautly,'I can't take him with me-it's not practical... But you will take care of him, won't you?'