She sat down gingerly on the side of her own bed. She'd never expected it to be that bad. Up till that moment it had been the most incandescently pleasurable experience of her life. And she'd truly thought that he wouldn't know-that it would always be her own secret.
The tender feelings that had led Sylvie to want to soothe him in some way mocked her now. All the while she'd been thinking she was giving Arkim the supreme gift of her innocence he'd been ready to reject it outright. Evidently her lack of experience was a huge turn-off.
What she'd told Arkim wasn't entirely true-his outright rejection of her hadn't really prepared her for this. Or for how much it would hurt. Far more than the physical pain.
She reminded herself that she'd knowingly risked this when she'd chosen to come here. She had no one to blame but herself. It wasn't a comfort.
Arkim was undoubtedly done with her and his little plan of retribution. He would let her go and she would never see him again.
Feeling raw and weary, Sylvie stood and picked up her bag, started to fill it with the clothes that must have been unpacked when she'd been sleeping. She couldn't see Arkim doing such a menial task, so it hadn't been him in her tent.
Now she felt doubly foolish.
Packing her things with more force than necessary, Sylvie didn't hear anything until a deep and infinitely familiar voice spoke from behind her.
'What are you doing?'
Sylvie's entire body hummed in response. She cursed her reaction and didn't turn around.'I'm leaving-what does it look like?'
'Why?'
There was some note in Arkim's voice that made her insides flutter dangerously but she ignored it. She steeled herself and dropped the clothes from her hands and turned around. In the dim flickering lights of the tent Arkim looked huge. He'd put a tunic on over his trousers.
'Your reaction just now was hardly indicative of wanting us to spend more time together.'
She thought Arkim winced, but couldn't be sure it wasn't a trick of the light and her imagination.
Then he said,'I could have handled that better. Did I hurt you?' His voice had turned gruff.
The fluttering in her belly intensified, but Sylvie pushed it down ruthlessly.'I'm okay.'
And she was. As soon as he'd pulled out the pain had faded and all that was left was some tenderness.
Then she said tartly,'You obviously weren't prepared for me to be a virgin because all along you've assumed I'm some kind of a sl-'
'Do not even say that word.' Arkim stepped forward, the lines in his face harsh.
The hurt was back and more painful. Why was he doing this? Bothering? Sylvie crossed her arms, wishing she'd had the foresight to change out of the robe, which felt very flimsy now.
'Look, you don't have to do this...apologise, or whatever it is you're doing. I get it. Me being a virgin was not a welcome surprise, and I understand that you have no desire to be the one to initiate me.'
Arkim came closer and shook his head, a look of incredulity coming over his face. It was only now that she noticed the growth of stubble on his jaw, remembered how it had felt against her softer skin...between her thighs.
'That's not it at all. I didn't handle my reaction well and I'm sorry for that. I had no right to take out my anger on you. It was just a shock when I expected-' Arkim stopped and ran a hand through his hair and stepped back. He cursed and walked to the door of the tent.
For a heart-stopping second Sylvie thought he was leaving, and her brave façade was just about to crumble when he stopped and put his hand up over the top of the doorway.
He spoke into the inky darkness outside.'My mother was a virgin. My father seduced her and took her virginity from her. She didn't even enjoy the experience. He was rough...'
Arkim turned around and Sylvie felt her heart beating too fast. She sank down onto the bed.'How can you know this?'
He was grim.'She kept a diary. It was in a box of her personal items that my father somehow miraculously kept. I read it when I was a teenager.' His voice was rough.'When it became obvious you were...innocent I realised that I was doing to another woman exactly what he'd done to her.'
Sylvie shook her head and stood up again, compelled to go over to Arkim with a fierceness she'd never felt before.'You didn't know... I could have explained, but I didn't.' She bit her lip.'This is going to sound really stupid, but when you told me about what had happened to you... I wanted you to be the one...'
Arkim reared back slightly.'You wanted to sleep with me because you felt sorry for me?'
'No.' She stopped, and then admitted sheepishly,'Maybe, in a way...'
Arkim looked ready to bolt, but Sylvie put a hand on his arm. He stopped, his face etched with injured pride.
'Not like that.' Her mouth twitched slightly.'Believe me, you don't inspire pity in people, Arkim-anything but. I wanted to sleep with you because you truly are the first person who has connected with me on that level... From the moment I saw you, I wanted you. Even when you looked at me with disdain it made me want to make you notice me.'
'I noticed you...' His tone was wry.
Sylvie's cheeks grew hot as she remembered that first time they'd met. The erroneous impression she'd made.
She let his arm go and shrugged lightly, avoided his eye.'I thought that I could somehow gift you something...pure. The purest thing I have to give. To show you that not everything is tainted.' She looked at him again.'You are nothing like your father. And I am nothing like your mother. This is not the same. You are considerate...you stopped when you knew I was in pain. It sounds like your father wasn't even aware of that.'
Something in the air between them changed...sizzled. The tension shifted to one full of awareness. Wanting.
Arkim lifted a hand and cupped Sylvie's jaw.'What do you say we start again?'
Her breath hitched. Start again...? As in from the beginning or just from tonight? But she was too afraid to ask it out loud, to break this fragile spell. She'd bared herself completely to him and he was still here. Still wanted her.
'Yes...' she breathed.
Arkim moved closer and Sylvie's skin tingled all over. Her breasts, still sensitive, peaked to hard points.
'And, for the record, I don't reject you... I absolutely accept you.' His voice became fervent.'You are mine, Sylvie. No one else's on this earth.' Something dark crossed his face.'If I was a better man I'd let you go, but I'm too selfish to let anyone else have you.'
And then he kissed her, before she could say a word, and there was nowhere left to run or hide.
The fire swept up around them faster than before, and then he was carrying Sylvie over to the bed, putting her down and sweeping her clothes and bag away with one hand.
He took off his clothes and her hungry gaze roved over him, as if it was her first time seeing him. His erection strained from his body, thick and long. She felt a glimmer of fear, remembering the pain.
But as if reading her mind Arkim came down over her and said,'I'll make it good...don't worry. It won't hurt again.'
She looked at him and felt her heart turn over. The thought of this man not taking the opportunity to hurt her...she'd never expected it. She couldn't speak. So she just nodded.
He carefully opened her robe and peeled it off her, laying her bare. And then he came alongside her on the bed and proceeded to do everything he'd done before, and more, until Sylvie was writhing, begging... Her sex was hot and damp, aching to feel him again, pain be damned.
'Touch me first,' he said hoarsely, poised above her, his powerful body between her legs.
Sylvie was nearly incoherent, her vision blurry. She looked down to see Arkim's sheathed erection and put a hand down to encircle him. She lamented the protection-she wanted to feel him skin to skin-but even like this...it was awe-inspiring. He was awe-inspiring.
She squeezed him gently, moved her hand up and down experimentally, and then she looked at him and saw the huge strain on his face. He was holding back, going slowly for her. Letting her get used to him.
Tenderness welled inside her. She took her hand from him and then placed both her hands on his hips, drawing her legs up in an instinctive feminine move as old as time.
'Now, Arkim-I need you now.'
She saw him struggle, and then give in. His body fused with hers and inch by inch he slowly sank into her. To the point of resistance.
'Sweetheart, relax...let me in.'
The endearment made something melt inside Sylvie and she could feel all the muscles that were clamping so hard against him relax.
Arkim slid a little deeper. She felt so full...almost uncomfortable. But also...amazing. Arkim kept going until Sylvie could barely breathe and his hips touched hers. She felt impaled...but whole. It was such a new and alien sensation. And then he started to pull out, beginning a dance of movement between their bodies that Sylvie had never known existed. Just when she thought he was withdrawing from her completely he'd thrust back in, and each time it felt a little more imperative that he did so.