I jumped over a fallen tree, letting my body fly through the air for a moment. I wished I could pause time and just linger here for a moment, floating through the air. But wishes never come true. My feet touched the ground once more and I surged forward. I’d lost sight of Bentley and I wasn’t sure if he was still in front of me or behind me. I didn’t care though. I wasn’t racing. I was feeling.
I didn’t know how long we were out there, but by the time we headed back to where we’d stashed our clothes, I was exhausted…in a good way. My muscles burned, but I enjoyed the small twinge of pain.
We climbed back into his truck and headed to the apartment. Because I’d been so worried about Sophie, I hadn’t seen their apartment…in fact, I don’t think I’d ever even congratulated them on getting married. I was a horrible friend. But I knew Bentley understood.
I hopped out of the truck and slung my bag over my shoulder. I reached out, stopping Bentley. His questioning gaze met mine.
I swallowed thickly, the apology thick on my tongue. “I-I-want to apologize for being so out of it. Thanks for being there for me and I’m really happy for you and Christian.” A lump formed in my throat. Christian had been with Sophie when Travis took her. And while I knew it was wrong to blame her, a part of me couldn’t help it.
Bentley looked at me for a moment and finally nodded. “You’ve had a lot going on, Caeden. I know that. And I know it’s…” He paused. “I know it has to be hard for you to be happy for me right now.”
“It shouldn’t be hard though,” I whispered, glancing down at the ground, ashamed of myself. “You’re my best friend, and despite all the crap going on in my life right now, I should be able to be happy for you.”
“Stop,” he said sternly, sounding more like a father than a friend. “If the situation was reversed, I know how I’d feel. I understand that right now, you’re more lost in your thoughts than present in the real world. I get it. Okay?”
I nodded. “Now come on,” he slung an arm across my shoulders, pulling me forward, “my hot wife made chili for dinner and I’m starving.”
With a chuckle, I let him lead me up the stairs to the second floor apartment. There wasn’t anything special about it. The walls were standard beige and the furniture was all hand-me-down. In that moment, I silently promised to find them a better place to live with nicer stuff…as soon as Sophie was back in my arms. Until I held my she-wolf again, I wasn’t sure I’d be capable of doing anything.
“Hi, Christian,” I said softly.
The pretty blonde girl smiled at me. She’d been awkward around me ever since Travis took Sophie. I knew she believed that I blamed her—and while a part of me did, it was a very small part. I knew how cunning Travis could be, and the poor girl probably never saw it coming.
“Hi.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
The three of us stood in an awkward triangle, waiting for someone else to do something first.
Finally, I let out a breath and asked, “So, where’s the chili?”
Christian smiled softly and nodded at the small stovetop. “It’s ready. Bowls are in that cabinet,” she pointed. “Spoons are there, and the cornbread should be ready in a few minutes.”
“Good,” I nodded, “because I’m starving.”
She laughed—and the sound of it was slightly forced. “I hope I made enough then. I have a hard enough time keeping this one fed,” she went into Bentley’s arms.
I closed my eyes, my gut clenching. I wanted to hold Sophie like that. I wanted to feel her body pressed against mine. I wanted to soak in her warmth and inhale her delicious smell of cookies. Being without her was slowly eating me alive. This time was worst than the last—not because she’d been gone longer, but because this time we were bound and not having her close felt like something was tugging me in all directions…trying to reach out and find her. But I couldn’t truly feel her, not as long as Beau resided safely inside her.
I slowly opened my eyes, swallowing thickly. I would not break down. I’d been doing too much of that. I needed to keep my head on straight—because if I did, then maybe I’d be able to find Soph, despite Beau interfering with our connection. I had to find her. Them. I had to find them.
I stepped forward, grabbed a bowl, and filled it with chili. I went about my business like I wasn’t freaking out on the inside. Bentley and Christian watched me carefully, like they were waiting for me to snap and throw the bowl of hot chili on them. I hated that my best friend and his wife felt that way. I wasn’t an angry person by nature, but these past weeks—months—had taken a major toll on my mental state. I was beginning to lose sight of the man I’d been, and an angry bitter version was taking his place.