* * *
Bentley drove me home to get some clothes and the dogs. I think he was afraid I’d change my mind and not come. Driving me assured that I couldn’t get away and make an excuse. He thought he was sneaky and didn’t know what he was up to, but I wasn’t dumb.
As we drove to Bentley and Christian’s place, I frowned at the melting snow. It signified that spring was fast approaching. So much time had passed since Travis first took Sophie and it made me sick to my stomach to imagine what my she-wolf was going through. Was she chained to a table like she had been before? Locked in a room alone? Beaten? Sore?
“Remember when we were kids and all we could talk about was when we would first shift?” Bentley asked, momentarily distracting me from my thoughts.
“Yeah,” I nodded, watching the trees whip past us.
“I miss those days,” he mused. “We were so innocent to the responsibility that comes with shifting.”
“Tell me about it,” I muttered. I’d been so excited for my first shift. Never in a million years did I think that two years later I’d be taking over my dad’s position as Alpha. I hadn’t been ready for that responsibility, and even now I still felt inadequate for the position. I wondered if there had ever been as shitty of an Alpha as me.
“I think we need to get that back.”
“Get what back?” I shook my head, forcing myself to focus on his words. “The…freedom…the innocence…the desire to be what we are. Let’s go for a run,” his voice had become excited
“Where? I thought you lived in a neighborhood? We can’t exactly run through the streets as wolves, we’d get shot, and while that might not be fatal for us it would be awfully inconvenient.”
Bentley shook his head. “We do live in a neighborhood, but there are woods all around us.” He let go of the wheel to encompass the mountainous area surrounding us.
“I don’t—”
He was already pulling off the road, and since I didn’t feel like arguing, I let him.
He put his truck in park and unbuckled his seatbelt. Looking at me, he said, “Fun. We’re going to have fun. Extra emphasis on the fun, in case you missed it.”
“I got it,” I shook my head, following him out of the truck.
I followed him into the woods, staring up at the glowing orange of the setting sun. It was beautiful, reflecting the promise of hope—of a new day. I wish I could still feel hope, but I’d stopped a while ago. I knew that was wrong of me, but I couldn’t help it. If I could feel Soph, then I might think differently, but right now I was convinced that she was lost to me forever.
“What are you doing?” Bentley asked as he turned around to see me staring at the sunset.
“Nothing,” I shook my head, forcing my feet forward. I stripped off my clothes and folded them into a neat pile, while Bentley did the same. A shiver ran down my spine as I began to shift. I’d always loved shifting—but lately, everything had made me hate what we are. I fell to the ground on four paws, blinking my eyes as everything came into focus. Seeing, as a wolf, was so different than seeing as a human. Colors were more muted, but somehow sharper. The outlines of the leaves on trees caught my eye, their jagged edges something you couldn’t see with human eyes.
Come on, Caeden! Bentley called, running ahead of me, his black form a blur. Let’s race!
I didn’t feel like racing, but the challenge in the tone of his voice was something I couldn’t resist. My feet soared forward, like they had a mind of their own, carrying me away from all my problems.
Bentley was right. This was freedom and I’d forgotten that. My dad wouldn’t want that for me. He’d want me to embrace what I was. The good, the bad, and the ugly. There were good and bad things about anything you did or were, but being able to shift…there was something magical about that. Everyone believed we were a fairytale. But shifters were real. We were anyone and everyone. And even humans had a little shifter inside them, because we all could identify as something else.
The ground thumped beneath my feet and my tongue lolled out of my mouth. The wind raised my fur and my eyes closed momentarily—relishing in the feel of it.
Do you feel it yet? Bentley’s voice sounded in my head as I approached his dark form.
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
I let everything else disappear, savoring the freedom of the moment. Nothing else mattered in this moment. I just ran, playing like a little kid. I needed this after everything I’d been going through.
It sucked that there was so much out of my control. I was a leader, and it was in my blood to stand up and fight. Sitting back and doing nothing was not sitting well with me.