“But we can only look for thirty minutes, any longer than that is too long for you to be on your feet,” he warned.
“Thirty minutes is fine with me,” I pulled my jacket on.
Caeden shook his head and grumbled under his breath. “What have I gotten myself into?”
“Oh, come on, it won’t be that bad,” I patted his scruffy cheek in a loving manner. “Don’t you want to help me pick out baby stuff?”
“Of course,” he shrugged. “I just don’t want you to wear yourself out.”
I didn’t either. But I needed to get out and breathe in fresh air and see something other than the inside of my house.
“I’ll be fine,” I kissed him before opening the door.
We walked out of the doctor’s office and Caeden held open the Jeep’s passenger door for me. He held out his hand as I climbed into the high vehicle. I had never had trouble getting in and out of his Jeep before, but right now it was a struggle.
“To Target we go,” Caeden sighed as he pulled out of the parking lot.
It took us a good twenty minutes to get to the store and I rode with the window cracked slightly so that the cool air could blow in and tickle my face. There were so many things I had taken for granted before I was trapped in my own house. I knew I was doing what was best for the baby and me by limiting my activity, but that didn’t make it any easier. Everyone wants to get out now and then.
“You okay?” Caeden asked as I rolled the window up before he turned off the car.
“Yeah,” I replied, wondering how many more times he was going to ask me that before we made it home.
“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” he looked at the store and back at me, nervously chewing on his bottom lip.
I chose to ignore him and got out of the car.
“Soph,” he grumbled as we walked towards the entrance, “you should have waited for me to help you.”
“It sounded to me like you were talking yourself out of letting me go in. I wasn’t going to risk you racing out of the parking lot like a crazy person,” I glared at him as I wrapped my arms around my body. I was so cold. I hated it.
Inside the store, Caeden grabbed one of the red shopping carts and headed straight for the baby department. It wasn’t hard to find since it was right in front of the store.
I picked up a little onesie with yellow ducks and marveled at the small size of it. Would our baby really be that tiny? What if I broke it? I mean, something that small had to be incredibly delicate.
I suddenly wished I was like other girls and had experience with babysitting. At least then I’d know what I was doing. Instead, I was going to have a baby and be absolutely clueless. You know, nothing they taught you in school ever turned out to be useful in real life. I really hoped ‘motherly instinct’ was a real thing and I’d be fine, because all this tiny stuff everywhere was really scaring the crap out of me.
“Hey, Sophie! Look at this!” Caeden held up a small hat that was made to look like a wolf. “The baby has to have this.”
“I thought the baby was a girl,” I taunted him. “That looks like something a boy would wear.”
He frowned down at the hat. “I don’t care. I’m buying it.”
I ran my fingers over more of the clothes as I passed by. I saw strollers and carseats ahead of me and that didn’t seem as scary as the clothes.
I began reading the descriptions of the various carriers and decided that these were as scary as the clothes, if not more. How on earth did you decide which one was the safest for your child?
I was beginning to regret agreeing to come here. All of this stuff was frightening me. I looked down the aisle at Caeden who was checking out a stroller. He seemed completely at ease. How unfair was that? Wasn’t it the man that was supposed to freak out over baby stuff, not the woman? Leave it to me to go against the grain.
“Soph, I think this is a good one,” Caeden called, removing his black baseball cap and ruffling his hair before replacing it backwards.
I made my way towards him and shrugged at the stroller. “Why?”
“Well, it’s sturdy for one,” he pointed, “it comes with a carrier and you can convert it when the baby gets too big for a carrier. It’s also unisex, just in case Lucy turns out to be Beau.”
My eyes watered. That was the first time, since the day we discussed names, that either of us had mentioned them. I felt a rush of emotion pour over me that was unlike anything I’d ever felt. Baby, wasn’t just baby, it was either Lucy or Beau.
“Soph…” Caeden said my name slowly. “You okay?”
I nodded, wiping away the one tear that had managed to escape. “Yeah, sorry.”