He gave a shrug and kicked his feet, which hung way up off the floor. His dad drove a cool vintage truck that earned all the badass points, so my SUV, as fancy and shiny new as it was, didn’t impress him very much.
“It’s a book that’s filled with things about me. Stuff I like, stuff I don’t like. I’m supposed to tell the teacher about my family and friends.” He made a face that had me laughing when I caught sight of it in the rearview mirror. “I guess I’ll have to tell her about Remy since she’s technically my friend.”
I snorted out a laugh and made my way through the city toward Capitol Hill where all the old, restored Victorians were. “Yeah, buddy, she is your friend, so you should definitely include her. Be sure to mention that you share your toys with her. Never hurts to butter the teacher up.”
His eyes locked on mine in the mirror and he tilted his head to the side. “Do you think I should mention my mom? I know she’s not here anymore, but she’s still up here.” He pointed to the side of his head where his little beanie was sitting slightly askew.
I sucked in a breath and willed the spasm in my heart to pass. “If she’s in your head and in your heart, Hyde, then she is a part of you. She’s always going to have a spot in your memories, both good and bad, but you don’t have to share that with anyone else if you don’t want to. That can be something that’s just between you and her, little man.” I hoped that was the right thing to say. I didn’t want his son telling Zeb that I was encouraging him to keep something from him, but I knew how closely I guarded the memories I had of Xanthe and now the ones I hoarded from my time with Ben. It was something special that was just mine, something precious that I didn’t want anyone else to taint or tarnish. Those memories were what kept me going when the days felt endless and keeping it together felt impossible. I didn’t want anyone else’s fingerprints all over them, so I wouldn’t blame Hyde for wanting to keep the few good moments his mother had given him all to himself.
Hyde stuck out his lower lip and pulled his eyebrows low over his emerald eyes. “I think my mom can stay up here and I’ll tell the teacher about Sayer instead. She looks like a princess and makes me pancakes in the morning.”
Sayer Cole was the attorney who had enabled Zeb to get custody of Hyde, and somewhere along the way, the buttoned-up, prim and proper lawyer had fallen for both of the Fuller boys. She was everything secure and safe that Hyde needed in his life and I couldn’t find an ounce of resentment toward the woman who would be raising my best friend’s son. In fact, every single time I was in the other woman’s presence, I was inspired to get my shit together and keep it that way. We all owed her a lot, and because she was nothing but class and heart, she refused to acknowledge it.
“I think that sounds like a good plan, little man. Your dad will be all over you telling the world how great Sayer is.” I pulled the SUV up in front of the impressive house Zeb had fully restored for Sayer when they first met. It took a couple minutes to get him out of the car and up to the front door, and by the time I had him wrangled, hand clasped firmly in mine, the front door was open and Zeb was leaning against the jamb. The dark hair, flannel shirt, worn jeans, and meticulously groomed beard all reminded me of another man and another place. It almost hurt to look at him. I missed Ben every second of every day. I tried not to let longing and yearning overtake my entire life, but it was a constant struggle. I woke up lonely and went to bed aching. I’d never been a patient person and the more time that passed, the less confidence I had that he would figure out a way to come for me.
Loud and messy was a lot less fun when it came from an adult woman who was holding her life and herself together with nothing more than a hope and a prayer.
Hyde threw himself into his father’s legs while prattling on about how he guessed it was okay that Remy made it into his book and how he wanted to make sure he included the fact that our pizza dinner dates were really important to him. Zeb squeezed his son’s shoulder and sent him into the house with a smile and a knowing look as I put a hand over my heart.
“He’s good at hitting that soft spot without even trying.” The big man lifted his eyebrows at me. “You all right? You look a little like you swallowed something sour.”
I shook my head and huddled deeper into my jacket. “Still trying to find my footing after losing my sister, ya know?”
That jade gaze missed very little. “Is that so? Because you’ve been more off since you got back than you were before you left. Normally, I’m not the type to pry, but you matter to my kid. He loves you, and he’s had enough people that he cares about let him down, so I just want to make sure you aren’t about to go off the rails on us, Echo.” He cocked his head to the side and watched me carefully. “You aren’t alone anymore.”