“Adela…”
She shook her head. “Don’t be patronizing either. I know—knew—my sons. Petey, so sweet, so stupid and weak. And Christoph Junior. That name was a curse, one that he can never live up to.”
“The old man taught him, gave him everything he needs to succeed. He’ll be fine and I’ll be right next to him.”
“For how long?”
I frowned. “Forever. I swore it.”
“You’ll try, but will he? You’ve seen it too, even if you want to pretend. Seen the jealousy that eats at him, how much he resents you. It won’t be long, Anton. You should leave. Take her and go.”
There was no doubt which “her” Adela spoke of, and even that glancing reference was enough to intensify the tightness in my chest.
“There’s no her, Adela,” I said, immediately regretting the way I’d snapped at her.
“She’s done something?”
“It’s not important,” I said.
“It is. Whatever she did, forgive her and leave. Live the life your father would have wanted you to have.”
I met her gaze, saw a fervor there and something that bordered on affection.
“It’s not possible. My family is here. My clan is here.”
“Maybe you’re not as smart as I thought,” she said.
“Is this your way of apologizing?” I asked.
“No. I won’t waste my breath. What happened, happened. I can’t change it, don’t know that I would if I could. But I know he loved you. And he would want you to live. I’m doing what I can to see that happens.”
“Adela, I…”
“Just think about it, Anton. You and her, you could have a life away from this. Don’t throw that away. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to rest. There’ll be visitors in the morning,” she said.
Then she left, and I was alone in the room.
I stood, searching for some hint of him, some reminder that he’d been there, some definitive proof that he was gone.
But there was only silence. Emptiness.
Then I caught sight of something and walked over to it. I picked up the metal box, the one where Lily kept her tea, its weight in my hands heavy, the closeness, the need I still felt for her feeling like the only real thing in the world.
Insanity was the only explanation. I knew what she’d tried to do, what she would have done, but I still needed her.
I’d get over it, though.
“Sandu,” I called as I headed back down the hall, “have you found Christoph Junior?”
“No, he’s not answering. I don’t know where he is,” he said, shaking his head.
A sickening realization hit me in a flash. I’d told Lily that Clan Constantin had played no role in her brother’s injury. But I’d been wrong. Christoph Senior would never have been so messy, left a task incomplete. But his son…
I was in the car and headed to her, moving as fast as I possibly could.
Eighteen
Lily
The irony of this situation was not lost on me, and it was only the fact that my heart felt as if it had broken in two that kept me from laughing. I had dreamed of this moment, fantasized about it, me and Christoph Constantin alone. Except he was the wrong Christoph, and I wasn’t the old Lily.
Now that I was here, this dream scenario come to pass, it only filled me with sadness. Reminded me of all that my quest had cost me.
And sparked a new thought, one that I cursed myself for never having considered before, too blinded by my own fervor to see what was right in front of my face.
Christoph Junior stepped forward, and on instinct I moved back. When he closed the door, I felt a flicker of worry, but it was swallowed by rage and sadness. Why should I worry? What else did I have to lose? I would never see Anton again, would never live the life that would have been possible for us, and I didn’t have the strength to start over.
I had nothing.
“What do you want, Christoph?” I asked, bitterness and scorn making my voice thick.
He scratched his face, but didn’t say anything, instead looking around the apartment.
“I thought Anton would take better care of his woman,” he said, turning to face me.
“Maybe he does. You should ask her,” I said, the idea of Anton with someone else turning the words to ash in my throat. But I’d have to get used to the idea, prayed that I would. Eventually.
He smiled, as much proof as anything that I had let my mouth get away from me. “So that’s not you?”
“What do you want, Christoph?”
I kept my eyes on him, somehow managed to keep from crossing my arms across my chest. I had spent years trying to worm my way in, focusing my life on getting close to his father. But now, face-to-face with Christoph Junior, I didn’t have the energy to maintain the mask.