“Probably. Are you going to?”
I turned away, then looked back at her, tried to imagine the life leaving her at my hand.
A life’s experience told me I should do just that. That a betrayal like this could never be forgiven or overlooked.
But I couldn’t.
Wouldn’t.
Even after what she’d done.
“You have twelve hours, Lily. Leave this place. And don’t ever come back.”
“That’s it? You’re going to let me go?” she asked, her expression a combination of confused and surprised.
“You’ve already proven me a fool. Why should that change now? Be grateful for it,” I said. My voice was gruff, tough-sounding, but the words, the thoughts behind them, betrayed my weakness. Just moments ago, I’d accepted I could never harm her, and she was putting my resolve to the test, confessing to a slight that should have meant instant death, would have if I had been a man worthy of my clan and its respect.
But I wasn’t, couldn’t pretend, even now, that I could harm her.
I stomped toward the front door, needing to be out of here, away from her, more than I had ever needed anything in my entire life. I grabbed the knob, fumbled with it before I finally wrenched the door open.
“I love you, Anton,” she whispered.
I left without looking back.
Lily
I stood rooted to the spot, frozen, after Anton left.
Pain, I had expected. Fear as well. But what I felt now, completely numb to my core, emptied, hollowed out, I hadn’t.
I’d known that I loved him, probably had even before the first time we’d been together. But the look on his face, the split second of agony that was quickly covered with rage, and then, worst of all, indifference, had been almost unbearable. And when I’d watched him walk away, the negative space that his absence created became a vacuum that threatened to swallow me whole, that made my stomach churn.
I rushed to the bathroom, heaved until there was nothing left. Then I stood, dizzy, only just able to brush my teeth before I staggered to the bedroom and collapsed onto the mattress. When I caught a faint whiff of the scent that was unmistakably him, I closed my eyes as if it would push away some of the pain.
He had joked that the mattress was too small, but now, without him, it was too big and as empty as my heart.
I sat up with a start, disoriented. I looked around wildly, noticed that it was full night.
Somehow, I had managed to fall asleep. Probably a sign of a guilty conscience that needed rest after having relieved itself of its burden.
I glanced at the clock, shocked when I realized it had been over five hours. My time was nearly halfway up. After I dragged myself out of bed and showered, I looked around the apartment, trying to decide what to take.
Because I was leaving.
Anton had been right. He’d never lied to me. And I wouldn’t bank on him starting today. Didn’t want to even contemplate what he might do if I were here after his reprieve.
Besides, if I never had to see that look in his eyes, the pain and disappointment that I had put there, it would be worth leaving everything behind.
I took one last look at the apartment and, on a deep sigh, headed to the door. I didn’t know my destination, but I knew this: I had failed my brother, had failed the only man I’d ever loved. There was nothing here for me.
I stepped out of the door and came face-to-face with Christoph Constantin Junior.
Seventeen
Anton
I was almost blind with fury, rage coursing through me, blinding me to everything around me. I drove fast, too fast, and I eventually pulled over, feeling too close to the edge to risk driving.
So I sat, my mind whirling with the revelation.
Lily had betrayed them.
Betrayed me.
Even thinking of her words made my heart clench.
Thinking of the times we’d been together made it clench harder.
She’d given herself to me, shared her body with me, something she hadn’t done with anyone else.
I gripped the wheel tight, not allowing my mind to stray from the pain that rocked me. But worse than the pain, the hot anger of betrayal, was the uncertainty. Unbidden, a memory came of Lily beneath me, the wondrous expression on her face when I touched her, her tentative, sweet caresses…
Even now, I could almost feel her fingers on my skin, my cock hardening at the memory even as the heat of betrayal charged through me.
I’d given her everything, my honor, my love, and it had all been a lie.
I waited for the hatred, the rage, the need to get my own vengeance, but it never came. All I felt was sadness, the loss at the awareness that I couldn’t see her again, be with her again, pushing everything else away.
Suddenly, I felt weak and slumped against the car seat, energy leaving me. I’d almost allowed myself to believe, but that was over now, and I was as I had always been. Alone.